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Nate-Walis — Porcelain
Published: 2013-06-06 19:34:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 6394; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 330
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Description
Judy was a woman who found herself in need of a way out of the debt threatening to crush her life under its weight, but when she found a potential answer in signing a contract to become the companion of a seriously ill young girl, she could not have imagined the sacrifice that would be entailed in fulfilling her own side of the deal.A while back I agreed to write a story based on an idea by fellow deviant Adam-Kamiya (who lives here: [link] ) and as I was rather busy at the time it sort of got shuffled to the bottom of the pack until he reminded me of the fact that I had been sitting on it for some time earlier this week.
I gave the basic idea a turn around in my mind and decided that I'd have a go and see what happened with it, and this is the result.
Preview image provided by Victor Habbick
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Comments: 5
I think this is one of your very, very best. You could get a full-length novel out of this story of staggering power and poignancy. The idea of the doomed child and the damaged woman/doll is tremendously compelling--the idea of the woman/toy trying to make a truncated life the happier, the idea of the time redeemed, the hiatus from the human world... I'm NOT sure the doll shop owner adds much of value--but there is a real potential here.
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Thanks for the immensely positive feedback on this one.
I'd agree that Mathers was only there to serve as a bookend to the main story, so that I could come full circle at the end and have a familiar scene in which to close the piece.
There is the possibility of a far longer piece from this idea, which I will keep in mind.
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Please note me if you decide to go ahead with this longer piece.
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I feel there was a little too much narrating at points, and not enough back and forth between Judy and Robin, but for the most part it was a good read. I had pictured the meeting a little differently, but for what it was I think it worked well.
I had also expected Robin's parents to have more of a role and physically give Judy to her in-story and have them witness the meeting of the pair. The secrecy angle you went for was something I hadn't considered, and seemed to work well as a foundation.
At the back-end of the story, I'd expected there to be a mention of Robin's fear of losing Judy if it were discovered that she was more-or-less healthy, as part of the changes in her life that she would be forced to take.
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I'm glad that you enjoyed this piece, as there were a lot more elements that I had considered adding to it, but the fact that I was pressed for time and decided to take a chance in writing it this way was a gamble.
Really I wanted this to be something different from the Matter Dynamics series, where the emphasis has always been on a more adult world and the physical aspects of the change that the main character has undertaken.
Here I felt more drawn towards the relationship between the woman and the girl, and that there would have to be something to establish them as friends apart from a kid being delighted to receive a talking doll.
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