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Description
I know not how to make it
that you are not like me.
He is not like mine was.
But mine was not like that until
He was.
I have no proof he will not harm you.
I can not promise there will be no hurt.
I can not stop whatever will happen.

Mine took me by the hand
Made me feel special
Made me feel wanted
And no one had ever done that for me before.
And then later
pretending I was grown up
I did things I had never done before.
And I was so proud
Proud I could bring him pleasure
I felt older, wiser, better.

And then he took everything.

I do not want you to be helpless.
I do not want it to be you,
carving all those words into your skin as I did
writing lines and lines
on how damaged you are, how ruined.

I can not make it not be you
lying on that bed, his hand around your throat
crying out and hearing his parents walk away from your screams
knowing all the way home that you were bleeding out, aching, sore, hurt by him.

I can not trust him not to do that.
I can not let that girl be you.
I can not let you go, not yet.

And I'm sorry
for filling this new romance with my fears
for the sick feeling in my stomach when he talks of you
for not seeing that you are not me
Two years older
so much brighter
so much more alive
so much better.
You would not make the mistakes I made.

But if you ever were to need me
And I hope, hope, hope that it will never be so
I am here.
No matter what it would bring out in me
Because
I am broken already
So damaged
So wrong
What is it to me?
I will save you, I will shelter you
As no one could with me.

I can not let go of this fear
But, for you both, I can manage, a little, to hope.

Description
I know not how to make it
that you are not like me.
He is not like mine was.
But mine was not like that until
He was.
I have no proof he will not harm you.
I can not promise there will be no hurt.
I can not stop whatever will happen.

Mine took me by the hand
Made me feel special
Made me feel wanted
And no one had ever done that for me before.
And then later
pretending I was grown up
I did things I had never done before.
And I was so proud
Proud I could bring him pleasure
I felt older, wiser, better.

And then he took everything.

I do not want you to be helpless.
I do not want it to be you,
carving all those words into your skin as I did
writing lines and lines
on how damaged you are, how ruined.

I can not make it not be you
lying on that bed, his hand around your throat
crying out and hearing his parents walk away from your screams
knowing all the way home that you were bleeding out, aching, sore, hurt by him.

I can not trust him not to do that.
I can not let that girl be you.
I can not let you go, not yet.

And I'm sorry
for filling this new romance with my fears
for the sick feeling in my stomach when he talks of you
for not seeing that you are not me
Two years older
so much brighter
so much more alive
so much better.
You would not make the mistakes I made.

But if you ever were to need me
And I hope, hope, hope that it will never be so
I am here.
No matter what it would bring out in me
Because
I am broken already
So damaged
So wrong
What is it to me?
I will save you, I will shelter you
As no one could with me.

I can not let go of this fear
But, for you both, I can manage, a little, to hope.