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nephrite-butterfly — SMOCT spectators -p02-
Published: 2010-12-14 13:38:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 1386; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 19
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Yes, Butterfly really did not like to lose
, and she often talk a lot in the company of friends or acquaintances, although with strangers on the contrary preferred to remain silent ... - spectator entry- p02
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Sailor Eris (c)
Sailor earth (c)
Sailor Polaris (c)
Pilot Senshi Twygal (c)
Sailor Butterfly (c) me
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Edit: fix some errors
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Comments: 15
Wow, I just laugh my but off at Earths Face and Butterfly going in to detail about not liking to loose. XD
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Wow this is amazing, I love you character so much, I wish we didn't have to eliminate people xD.
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Very nice. I wish I could get even a single page comic, you can draw them well!
You're set up for the second panel is a bit confusing, it took me a minute too puzzle out who Vikuna was responding to. The way you have it makes it look like Vikuna it talking and responding to her thoughts. You can tighten the Vikuna's speech bubbles a bit - I understand that you need a lot of space for the words to be written clearly, and please indicate who is speaking and in which order. Remember that for the next time your draw multiple people taking in the same panel, and make certain that {if you don't wish to give numbered speech bubbles} you have speech bubbles spoken by the same person linked to each other. Here is an example of speech bubble usage: this is a cover for Spider-Man in - I think - German, and this page that can help you a bit.
Sorry about the above babble, you should clear it up next time. Now, for grammar and spellings.
"Losing is the worst cause for a tea party, especially defeat like that.." could be better written like "Losing is the worst cause for a tea party, especially with a defeat like that..".
"No, of course I understand that, this is a tournament etc. but that is... >< I incidentally the only one who won the first round and took off in the second." could be better written as "No, of course I understand that, this is a tournament etc. but that is... I am incidentally the only one who won the first round and took off in the second.", also instead of using >< in the bubble try writing the word frustrated or even upset to the side of the bubble {still keeping it inside the bubble} drawing a small face to the side of the text inside the bubble - here is an example of what I mean, it's from The Oracle, the panel to the viewer's right {it is in Japanese} is the example and that Usagi's hand.
"(Well, there was a Sailor Phantom too), but I even did not get into a battle royal." could be better written as "Well, there was a Sailor Phantom too, but even I did not get into a battle royal." or as "(Well, there was Sailor Phantom too.) But even I did not get into a battle royal.".
Could you clear up what you mean with "But I was a little insulting... ". Clear up your usage of his in that bubble as well - I'm not clear as to weither her previous opponent was female, but I'm fairly certain that it was female. Oh, you should deal with the "Bla... Bla..." a bit better by taking the Bla... Bla.. out and writing in a smaller script size that she continued {or continues} to talk.
"We are still plaing..." should be "We are still playing...".
"It seems like I'm not the only one who didn't like to lose..." could be better written as "It seems like I'm not the only one who doesn't like to lose...".
... And Nocturne get in round three... could be written as ... Sailor Nocturne get in round three.... For that matter, who was Nocturne's opponent? If she was Vikuna's opponent, next time write that next to her - for now indicate who is talking/thinking that.
I had a lot of minor cards like that could be I have a lot of minor cards like that. Unless, the had is referring to the previous card games. What are they playing anyway?
Your *sigh* could be written differently, but do take the asterisks [ * ] away.
"Sorry, Sweet, but this is a game!" could be written as "Sorry, sweetheart, but this is a game!" or "Sorry, sweety, but this is a game!".
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About 2nd panel. Vikuna talks to everyone and she just voicing her discontent about the loss. And I made it massive like that because Viku says a lot at that moment ant it looks like non-stop huge wall of text to others. About linking same person's bubbles - I don't like this part in western somics and prefer not-linking manga type.
And I completelly failed with that "insulting". It must be not "insulting" but similar to "grievance" or "umbrage" or "dudgeon" or even "humble pie" And for now I think it will be better like "It was a little ..."
Butterfly is the one who speaking. There was a lot of free space so I put that phrase into that space, but as a result it was not clear who is speaking. Nocturne was Butterfly opponent in first round. A n Butterfly prefer say senshi names without that "sailor" part.
May be "have" is better, but I try to show that Viku had cards like that during this game and current turn, but at the moment of speech she has only one card in her hand... Oh, and they play in this one -> [link]
About "sweet" I saw similar phrase in one english manga scanlation, bt may be "sweetheart" or "sweety" will be better...
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Ah, okay. It was a bit confusing especially with the response of, uh Sailor Earth. {I think}
Hm, maybe the "It was a little..." will work.
Hmm, you might be able to clear it up by adding a small butterfly at the end of that little statement.
Ah, maybe have had would work. So they are playing Durak, mm, okay..
Yes, you can also use honey instead of sweet.
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Poker is interesting when the first winner can command the last looser what to do. Like 10 (50) pushups, sing a real good song really badly, Stay standing on half leg till the next round ends or... bring me a coffeeeee, fast! So nothing serious...
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Well, actually the game in which they play is not poker. I just not sure if there is an analogue of this game in Western countries and the U.S. ... so I can't say its name ...
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There are many games with trump cards. ^^ Can you explain the card game, or tell us the name you know? Maybe we have the same game and I can find out the name for it here.
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I've actually found the article in Wiki. They play in this game -> [link]
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Ohhhh! I think that's like a kind of Rummy. ^^ There are a lot of games like that. If someone asks for the English name, just tell them it's Rummy. Rummy refers to many, many different card games, but they are all very similar to Durak.
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