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Nestly In reply to ??? [2013-02-24 17:29:08 +0000 UTC]

Yeah? I remember enjoying the plot twist at the end myself, but it's been years. Remind me what the problem was?

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Nestly [2013-02-24 20:14:56 +0000 UTC]

First: It is almost completely devoid of foreshadowing. The closest thing we have to it is the hesitance of the Da'kor villagers to speak about what happened... but that gets explained by Archeron's father being killed...
Second: Archeron's father being killed... Why? There is no actual reason given, and remains a loose thread.
Third: So we know that Raul decided to switch the souls of the original Acheron with Kayn'dar.... but why is never really explained.
Fourth: The complete destruction of Acheron as a character. One of the primary pillars of the character was him trying to prove that not all Da'kor are evil... but by making it to where he is actually an elf in da'kor clothing... it robs the character of a vital piece of them self.

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aaronfranke In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2015-01-27 03:47:24 +0000 UTC]

Third: He wanted to switch the souls because Raul knew that Kayn'dar would rebel. The Da'kor that he switched Kayn'dar's mind with would be willing to pursue Raul's goals. However, he was taking the risk of whether Kayn'dar's healing magic was bound to his body or soul.

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to aaronfranke [2015-01-27 17:43:36 +0000 UTC]

Leaving aside you replied to an almost 2 year old comment. WHERE is this stated?

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aaronfranke In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2015-05-14 21:14:43 +0000 UTC]

Page 711, Raul's third bubble text inverloch.seraph-inn.com/viewc…

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to aaronfranke [2015-05-16 16:10:46 +0000 UTC]

Right, I'll grant that. Still leaves 3 other reasons the ending was craptastic.

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Nestly In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-25 04:42:58 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. XD I do think there was plenty of foreshadowing, though. There were several flashbacks that hinted to young Kayn'dar is similar to Acheron and such. Then the whole meeting with Silva or... whatever the heck name he was using. The dude in the tower. XD Everything he says in the conversation hints to what's going on without revealing it. Anyways, I thought the twist was great, but it could've been executed much better. I was REALLY confused what was going on when Acheron died until like 4 pages later, lol.
For what it was, I found it to be a good comic. I think if the author would have drawn it out a bit more the give more flow, depth and explimation behind the father and all that, it would've been nicer but, ahh who knows. XD At least it was a hell of a lot more interesting than that crappy Phoenix Requiem comic afterwards,. XD

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Nestly [2013-02-25 06:37:19 +0000 UTC]

The issue with the example you use as foreshadowing is that they are all explained (In series) as the pendant causing them... even the HEALING is explained as that without any hint of "this may not be the case".

I should note that it is rare for me to rail against a story. As a published author myself, I know that sometimes a story does not end up being what you had hoped it would be. My main gripe with the ending from a literary standpoint is that the author... obviously had no clue what the purpose of an end-story twist is supposed to be. Take the "Sixth Sense" as an example. Throughout the movie there are plenty of hints that one of the main characters is in fact, dead. BUT! There is more than that. The movie also leaves a growing sense of 'offness' which increases the tension with each minute. There is only one way to really do an end-story twist without it falling flat, or feeling disconnected from the rest of the plot, and that is to make it a tension builder. At all times you are aware that SOMETHING is coming, and that something is the twist.

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Nestly In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-25 16:27:07 +0000 UTC]

Lol, I guess it's been a really long time since I've read the comic, so I can't really argue with detailed points like that. XD Oh well.

Although this does make me want to re-watch the sixth sense again, haha.

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Krritkin [2013-02-24 11:23:13 +0000 UTC]

I am one with you here... the ending left me with a nawwing sense of disappointment...

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Krritkin In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-24 11:42:52 +0000 UTC]

yupp

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Krritkin [2013-02-24 12:27:46 +0000 UTC]

The more I talk about it, the angry I get. The ending ruined the plot... WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Acheron trys to prove that the Da'Kor are not all violent... but the ending ruins that because it makes him not violent BECAUSE he is the elf.

The ending gives no actual reason why Acheron's father was killed beyond "Elves are dicks"

The sudden change from Acheron to the elf is... unpleasant. We have spent the entire series getting to like ACHERON, switching to another character takes away from that entire experience.

No actual reason given for WHY the body switch had to occur....

And much, much more.... I LOVED the comic before the ending, the characters were likeable, the plot was good and solid..

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Krritkin In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-24 13:52:41 +0000 UTC]

Also SPOILER WARNING
Exactly, and another part thats really lovable: Acheron dies and noone gives a f**k, specially that elf girl who's name i've forgotten, has siad early in the comicthat Acheron is her first and only friend.
Awesome :/

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Krritkin [2013-02-24 14:22:43 +0000 UTC]

I am tempted to use my writing talents to make an alternate ending... shit, if I can get published than fixing an otherwise bad ending should be easy.

The sad part to this is... I would have HAPPILY accepted a bittersweet ending. Like, the death of Acheron causes the elf to regain enough of himself to return to normal. Sure, Acheron still dies, but there is closure there.... and in the end he would have died proving that even the Da'Kor can sacrifice for other species.

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Krritkin In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-24 14:33:18 +0000 UTC]

I'm one to agree there. That ending would have been a really good one. I,m one of those who love dark endings and there's something really unsatsfactory with this mellow end, were everything is more or less perfect

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Krritkin [2013-02-24 14:50:14 +0000 UTC]

*shameless self promotion time*
For a bittersweet ending go to my gallery and look up "Cherry Blossoms"
*End of Shameless self promotion*

The ending left me disappointed, both as a reader and a writer. The authors misuse of how a twist is done is blatantly obvious. There is only one real way to do an end-story twist. It involves a LOT of foreshadowing. A twist that is not heavily foreshadowed throughout the story feels like it is disconnected from the story...

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Krritkin In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-24 22:36:59 +0000 UTC]

Shameless promotion?
After reading your story I had to hold back my tears. With that gift of writing you have it's hardly a shameless self promotion

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AnselmBlackheart In reply to Krritkin [2013-02-25 06:29:56 +0000 UTC]

Cherry blossoms is one of my few good pieces that I chose to not have published, and instead posted it online. ^_^

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Krritkin In reply to AnselmBlackheart [2013-02-25 10:23:33 +0000 UTC]

well, it's really good anyway

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Nestly In reply to Krritkin [2011-11-30 03:13:17 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: I enjoyed the ending. Wasn't a fan at all of her story Pheonix Requiem, though.

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Krritkin In reply to Nestly [2011-11-30 19:46:59 +0000 UTC]

Well I think the ending was very non-emotional considering that Acheron was the first friend for two of the four main characters

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Nestly In reply to ShariIsLikeWHOA [2009-04-20 19:57:25 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: Awwww, thank you! <3 Glad you like it. And I didn't know she ever got the third book out! XD *only has the first two*

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ShariIsLikeWHOA In reply to Nestly [2009-04-20 23:46:12 +0000 UTC]

lol yeah she just released it around christmas time I think ^.^

I was super excited! I'd been waiting for forever

and you are welcome, it is lovely and you deserve it ^.^

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Nestly In reply to Dark-Vengeance912 [2008-08-09 03:38:56 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: Nooo, I didn't. XD In fact she didn't even end up publishing these winners like her last contest. I was bummed.

But thanks!

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Dark-Vengeance912 In reply to Nestly [2008-08-09 13:25:33 +0000 UTC]

Awww such a shame better luck next time ^^

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Nestly In reply to Chiomi [2007-11-30 07:10:57 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: I had to read it over a few times to fully understand it, but I really liked the twist. xD
Huh? O_o; I didn't think they all looked emo. I dunno what you're talking about. >X3

Yes, yes I can. x3 But thanks Chiomi.

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Nestly In reply to Kris1108 [2007-09-03 19:27:32 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: Yeah same here, although I liked the outcome, just because I thought it was so twisted and clever. XD

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I-have-a-soul-too In reply to I-have-a-soul-too [2007-09-01 01:53:50 +0000 UTC]

YOU'RE FANTASTIC AT THIS! My god i need to learn how to draw backgrounds like that, it make me squee with excitement-ness. And the characters and the way Acheron's holding the elf pendant, like he's having another flashback
hm, you know, i thought the end was cheesy... i mean it just seemed like they did that so she'd end up with both. And what exactly was the purpose of that old creepy guy fuseing with that mage chick? But i really loved the comic, especially when he started to get hypocritical about hating elves and such. That and the comic seemed more like an RPG game, half the comic was being introduced to different characters.
The start of the comic though, THAT was the best, i was going to cry when she said they weren't equal and didn't love him back (well not really... but you know)

ha, my rants are way too ranty

(damn, for some reason my comment sent before it was done :/)

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Nestly In reply to I-have-a-soul-too [2007-09-03 19:35:56 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: AGAIN WITH THE SEXY. D8

Really? OwO Huh, I don't see anything wrong with Ash's eye, but Varden's (blond dude) was bothering me. I haven't gotten around to fixing that one yet... xD;

Thanks Soul! <:3 Glad you enjoy it.
And what was the purpose? XD To help her understand the whole thing and get Kayn'dar back in his rightful body..?

D: Aww.. I like the ending better. The start isn't nearly as well done. xD I didn't really get into it until like the 3rd volume.

That's okay. 8D (I hate when messages get cut off too. XD Silly DA)

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I-have-a-soul-too In reply to Nestly [2007-09-04 06:24:06 +0000 UTC]

but that's me; i'm the person who always comments and always has the word sexy in there. But that doesn't mean my vocabulary's restricted; i also use the word arousing, sexy-rific and as you know better than sex.

It's not the eye really, just the positioning of it but it is your style

oh i dunno XD i just liked the beginning more than the ending. Seemed the plot was more 'logical' for a fantasy. I mean that fusion thing at the end just seemed to be there because she wanted to end up with both.

hm, myes -twirls long moustache-

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Nestly In reply to I-have-a-soul-too [2007-09-06 16:43:17 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: better then sex cake! 8D ....whut. It's a yummy cake.

Ahhh, I dunno. XD I guess, but come on, that fusion thing was pretty interesting and well explained.

>XD What the hell Soul.

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I-have-a-soul-too In reply to Nestly [2007-09-07 00:29:21 +0000 UTC]

XD LOL
i dunno, i don't think it was /that/ well explained... either that or i haven't paid too much attention

>_> -ties you up, places you on train tracks and laughs evilly-

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Nestly In reply to I-have-a-soul-too [2007-09-12 17:02:07 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: I don't think you did. xD Or you weren't into it enough to think about it enough.

.........WHAAAA. SOME FRIEND YOU ARE. *wiggle*

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I-have-a-soul-too In reply to Nestly [2007-09-12 23:19:12 +0000 UTC]

pf, this is someone that, besides drawing, has to attention span to speak of at all.
-points out that the train tracks aren't actually connected to anything but gets a top hat and monacle anyway- Muahahahaha~

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Nestly In reply to I-have-a-soul-too [2007-09-13 02:20:15 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: D: ...... *crickets chirp* ......WELL I'M STILL TIED TO A FRIGGIN' TRAIN TRACK NOW AREN'T I? *wiggle again*

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I-have-a-soul-too In reply to Nestly [2007-09-14 03:13:41 +0000 UTC]

uh... -runs off-

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Nestly In reply to GinnySheep [2007-09-03 20:01:10 +0000 UTC]

Nestly: H'aaaaww, well it's always fun to just try. XD Though it is over now.

Thanks Ginny. <:3 Glad you think so, heheh.

Ohhhh, I know. XD It's so wierd, really. Kayn'dar was so much cuter in a Da'kor body. ;3; But it's still Kayn'dar- er.. Acheron.. who was really Kayn'dar- GAH. SEE? XD *shot*

Yeah same here. XD But they did have a lot of indications that it was still him. Like how Neirenn still called him "Ash." X3

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GinnySheep In reply to Nestly [2007-09-04 00:36:43 +0000 UTC]

Yes... I drew it, but the picture of Kayn'dar in the back came out horrible and I didn't have enough time to color it. D8 So I'll just hope they do this again, since this was the second one they might. xD;;;

Yeah, that was confusing! xD I get it now, but when I was reading it... how it was set up was really confusing if you didn't predict what was going to happen.

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