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Description
As artists, we want to create, but most of (if not all) of us, want our art to also be seen. We want to be recognized. We want that small gratification that someone besides ourselves likes the art we create, and that tiny recognition can give us the encouragement to keep creating. If we reach out and hear silence in return too often, we sometimes can disappear into the background forever. I've seen many of my friends fade out as artists over the years, for one reason or another. It happens. I sometimes wonder if it's dependent on the size of their creative soul, or maybe things in their lives just didn't end up falling into place the correct way to keep creating. I sometimes wonder if that will happen to me. I think it's happening a lot to me this year, and it makes me utterly depressed.

I don't think my artistic soul is meant to be put on a shelf, honestly. I've been drawing since I could hold a crayon, and it makes me happy. But, I think along the way I started to depend too much on what other people thought of my art. Does it make people happy? Does it give them inspiration? In the last decade, I've only seen my art merely as a service. Is it serving a purpose? Is it going towards something greater? Projects were my all consuming world, and I stopped creating art for... well just to make art. It was always towards something else. I'm glad to have had the motivation for making art, don't get me wrong, but it was so limiting, so reliant on the public eye. I wasn't drawing for myself anymore, I was drawing to constantly please a crowd. And as far as I was concerned, that crowd was never pleased. It wasn't because of my art, but I felt like it was never enough. I could never work hard enough, long enough to please people. My art took a backseat and I never felt as if anyone ever cared about it anymore. All of a sudden, I was no longer "Nestly who draws art", I was "Nestly, owner of Wyngro" and hated for every tiny rumor and thing that made one person feel bad about something. Nothing could ever be good enough. Everything I said was picked apart. No one stood up for me. My artistic soul was crushed for years, my only outlet for it was that of pleasing the community of unrest I had unintentionally created around me. I wish I had foresight. I wish I had better perspective on those not myself, but I'm just me, doing my thing. I started my little project because it was something I wanted, and then it quickly turned into something that only everyone else wanted. Eventually, no one wanted it. Well, they did, but they didn't want me. They wanted to same thing, minus me. I am left to watch as everyone plays a game on a playground I am by default not allowed to play in. I'm happy for my friends, glad to see they are having fun. I just wish I could play with them. I miss them all, even the ones who said mean things about me behind my back. I try to remember the good times and all the things about people I remember, regardless of the way things were left. But regardless of how I think, I'm left as an empty shell of an artist, wondering what the point of it all was. Where do I go from here? Do I quit art? Do I do something else? (What?)

I guess that's what happens when you make something you like so embedded into the rest of your life. Same thing as embedding a person too much in your life. You can't cope without them. So much of your routine, your fun, your social aspect was reliant on this person or thing. It's hard to replace it all. I think losing that routine can cause a lot of depression, confusion, loss...
I want to create. I never lost that spark or need to create, but the motivation to try... it's gone. The need to create but the willingness to do so being stomped on is utterly depressing, and it's hard to move forward with no clear path. My goal has always been to create art that I like, and that maybe others will like it as well. What empowers me is others around me sharing stories of being inspired and motivated by what I create.

I reach out here on DA to see if there is any audience left for those who truly were or are still inspired in some way by what I create. Is there something in my gallery that made you want to draw? Please show it to me if there is. I'd love to hear about it. After all, you're watching me for some reason, right? Why? Why are you watching this account?

I fear this post will remain invisible, and I really will fade into the background as an artist in the next year or so. Maybe that would be best. I'm sure a lot of people out there would prefer that. I am a people-pleaser after all, so if that's what people want, then maybe that would be for the best.

---

Edit: Hey guys, please be respectful and keep posts to be more on the positive side and try not to bring up Wyngro drama. I'm just burnt out, honestly. This was a post I made to say I am at my lowest, and I need help, support, encouragement. Bringing up more stress on something like this is just making things worse. Please DM me if you wanna talk (Nestly#2552), but don't bring it up here in the comments. Much appreciated.

Description
As artists, we want to create, but most of (if not all) of us, want our art to also be seen. We want to be recognized. We want that small gratification that someone besides ourselves likes the art we create, and that tiny recognition can give us the encouragement to keep creating. If we reach out and hear silence in return too often, we sometimes can disappear into the background forever. I've seen many of my friends fade out as artists over the years, for one reason or another. It happens. I sometimes wonder if it's dependent on the size of their creative soul, or maybe things in their lives just didn't end up falling into place the correct way to keep creating. I sometimes wonder if that will happen to me. I think it's happening a lot to me this year, and it makes me utterly depressed.

I don't think my artistic soul is meant to be put on a shelf, honestly. I've been drawing since I could hold a crayon, and it makes me happy. But, I think along the way I started to depend too much on what other people thought of my art. Does it make people happy? Does it give them inspiration? In the last decade, I've only seen my art merely as a service. Is it serving a purpose? Is it going towards something greater? Projects were my all consuming world, and I stopped creating art for... well just to make art. It was always towards something else. I'm glad to have had the motivation for making art, don't get me wrong, but it was so limiting, so reliant on the public eye. I wasn't drawing for myself anymore, I was drawing to constantly please a crowd. And as far as I was concerned, that crowd was never pleased. It wasn't because of my art, but I felt like it was never enough. I could never work hard enough, long enough to please people. My art took a backseat and I never felt as if anyone ever cared about it anymore. All of a sudden, I was no longer "Nestly who draws art", I was "Nestly, owner of Wyngro" and hated for every tiny rumor and thing that made one person feel bad about something. Nothing could ever be good enough. Everything I said was picked apart. No one stood up for me. My artistic soul was crushed for years, my only outlet for it was that of pleasing the community of unrest I had unintentionally created around me. I wish I had foresight. I wish I had better perspective on those not myself, but I'm just me, doing my thing. I started my little project because it was something I wanted, and then it quickly turned into something that only everyone else wanted. Eventually, no one wanted it. Well, they did, but they didn't want me. They wanted to same thing, minus me. I am left to watch as everyone plays a game on a playground I am by default not allowed to play in. I'm happy for my friends, glad to see they are having fun. I just wish I could play with them. I miss them all, even the ones who said mean things about me behind my back. I try to remember the good times and all the things about people I remember, regardless of the way things were left. But regardless of how I think, I'm left as an empty shell of an artist, wondering what the point of it all was. Where do I go from here? Do I quit art? Do I do something else? (What?)

I guess that's what happens when you make something you like so embedded into the rest of your life. Same thing as embedding a person too much in your life. You can't cope without them. So much of your routine, your fun, your social aspect was reliant on this person or thing. It's hard to replace it all. I think losing that routine can cause a lot of depression, confusion, loss...
I want to create. I never lost that spark or need to create, but the motivation to try... it's gone. The need to create but the willingness to do so being stomped on is utterly depressing, and it's hard to move forward with no clear path. My goal has always been to create art that I like, and that maybe others will like it as well. What empowers me is others around me sharing stories of being inspired and motivated by what I create.

I reach out here on DA to see if there is any audience left for those who truly were or are still inspired in some way by what I create. Is there something in my gallery that made you want to draw? Please show it to me if there is. I'd love to hear about it. After all, you're watching me for some reason, right? Why? Why are you watching this account?

I fear this post will remain invisible, and I really will fade into the background as an artist in the next year or so. Maybe that would be best. I'm sure a lot of people out there would prefer that. I am a people-pleaser after all, so if that's what people want, then maybe that would be for the best.

---

Edit: Hey guys, please be respectful and keep posts to be more on the positive side and try not to bring up Wyngro drama. I'm just burnt out, honestly. This was a post I made to say I am at my lowest, and I need help, support, encouragement. Bringing up more stress on something like this is just making things worse. Please DM me if you wanna talk (Nestly#2552), but don't bring it up here in the comments. Much appreciated.