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Description
Alistair was getting used to the surroundings of Ashford Academy on his second day of school. Unfortunately, Suzaku, one of Alistair's newest friends, was having a rough time fitting in. Alistair found Suzaku at one of the sinks on the school grounds, washing something. Alistair then decided to approach Suzaku, as he seemed discouraged.

Alistair: Hey, Suzaku! How are you doin'?
Suzaku: Not too well, I'm afraid.
Alistair: Why's that, man?

Suzaku showed Alistair his gym clothes, which were covered with a message in spray paint. As Alistair understood the situation, someone did not like Suzaku and decided to leave a strange and cryptic message.

Alistair: (scoffs) Whoever did that is a complete idiot.
Suzaku: I can't really blame them.
Alistair: You don't blame them? For mistaking a shirt for a wall? I mean, this isn't even art. It's absolute crap.
Suzaku: Look, could you leave me be, for now? I'm kinda busy.
Alistair: You do that. I'll keep an eye out for spray paint.
Suzaku: Wait! Before you go, we need to talk.
Alistair: It's about the van.
Suzaku: Yes! You were right to warn me! I should've stayed outside the damn thing!
Alistair: Knowing is half the battle, Suzaku.
Suzaku: Amen. Now you can go.

Just as Alistair left Suzaku to his business, he found the culprits running across an outside corridor. Alistair tailed them for a while and then confronted them.

Alistair: Hi, there. I'm supposing you're the idiots who defaced Suzaku's gym outfit.
Student A: What if we did? He's just an Eleven.
Alistair: Don't kid yourself.
Student B: How about you get lost as well, "American?" We don't need you here. In fact, you can die for all I care.

The two students started to leave, but Alistair grabbed one of the student's shoulders and stopped them.

Alistair: Hold up a sec, guys. Can I see that spray paint? (grabs can of spray paint) Thank you.

Alistair walked away from the students and faced a wall that was unmarked for the moment. The students followed behind him to see what he was going to do. Alistair shook the can of spray paint and began spraying on the wall. He drew a complete circle, then a capital "A" in the middle of the circle. The students were surprised at what Alistair drew. They saw him draw the symbol that meant "anarchy". In that instance, Alistair flourished and drew a diagonal slash through the symbol he just drew. To Alistair, this meant that the area around the school did not allow anarchy.

Alistair: (hands spray paint can to one of the students, puts his arms around the students) And that's how you send a message. Look at it. It's not cryptic at all. And, one last word of advice: respect the Japanese, would ya?

Alistair left the students and tried to find something other to do. After about an hour and a half of walking around and getting a feel for the environment, Alistair heard an announcement from the student council president about a cat on the school grounds and to bring it to her.

Alistair: Well, that's just off. Why the hell does the student council care about a cat, let alone what it's carrying?

Just as he said this, Alistair saw a cat with a helmet-shaped object on its head run across the hallway. Before he could even question about the cat, the repeated chorus of Def Leppard's Die Hard the Hunter rang out from his self-made cellphone. Alistair flipped open his phone and answered.

Alistair: Hello?
Voice: (over phone) Alistair? This is Lelouch.
Alistair: Lelouch? What's going on? Wait, how the hell did you get my number? I know that I left it for Nunnally, but...
Lelouch: Listen to me, Alistair. That announcement about the cat...
Alistair: What about the damn cat?
Lelouch: It's holding something important to me, something secret. Can you help me catch it, please?
Alistair: And suddenly, from my perspective, crap has hit the fan. I will now begin the hunt, Lelouch. Expect your secret to remain as such. (hangs up)

As soon as Alistair hung up on Lelouch, he started running to where he last saw the cat. He moves outside of the building he was in and began searching for the cat.

Alistair: Kitty cat! Where are you? I wish to be your friend! (singsong) I'll give you catnip!

At that point, random students appeared, trying to block his path.

Alistair: (normal tone) Huh? What are you guys up to?
Male Student A: You're not going to find that cat.
Female Student: Yeah! We're not letting some foreign student like you take all the credit.
Alistair: You do realize that the only Japanese student here is Suzaku, right? The rest of the students, from my count, are foreign to Japan, like me.
Male Student B: Shut up! Just leave the cat alone, and there won't be trouble.
Alistair: So, you guys are not moving from that spot?
Female Student: No!
Alistair: (smiling) Awesome. I get to test out my new toy.

The students were confused at what Alistair meant until he used his left arm to move the left side his coat-length jacket aside to reveal that a device with a grappling hook was attached to his left hip. Alistair grabbed the grappling hook and hurled it towards the roof.

Alistair: (looks at students) Going up.

Alistair then zipped upward towards the roof. As soon as he was on the roof, he retracted the grappling hook and began running across the roof he was on and jumping towards another. The students were left in shock. The female student's phone began ringing and she answered it.

Male Voice: (over phone) Did you stop that foreign guy from chasing the cat?
Female Student: Define "stop."
Voice: What?! How'd he get past you!?
Female Student: We blocked his path, he used a grappling hook, zipped up to the roof and he is currently jumping from rooftop to rooftop trying to find the cat.
Voice: (pauses) What the hell did I just hear?

After 20 minutes of searching on rooftops Alistair jumped down to notice there was a commotion around the clock tower. It is then that Alistair noticed that Lelouch and Suzaku were on the roof of the clock tower, trying to reach the cat. Lelouch started sliding off the roof and Suzaku caught him. Alistair could not stand to see his friends get severely injured and decided to scale the clock tower. He passed an orange haired girl as he was walking and put his hat on her head and told her to hold it for him. His walking instantly became running as he approached a wall and began running up the wall. On the fifth slowed step up the wall Alistair hurled his grappling hook from his hip and it attached to the roof.

Suzaku lost his balance and Lelouch began falling with him. All of a sudden, they began wondering why they had stopped falling. They noticed that they were being carried by Alistair, Lelouch in one arm, Suzaku in the other. Once Alistair was on the ground, he put his friends down.

Alistair: Next time, guys, leave the stunts to the professionals.
Suzaku: (shocked) How did you do that!? How did you just run up a wall and save two people!?
Alistair: Skills, Suzaku. (to Lelouch) Sorry about not catching the cat. Kinda had my hands full at the moment.
Lelouch: It's fine. I'm glad you caught us. Literally.
Alistair: (smiling) All part of the job.

Alistair heard a cat meowing on the roof and looked up. All of a sudden, a cat landed in his arms.

Alistair: Cat seems fine to me, Lelouch. Why the hell did you have me chase a cat for no damn reason?
Female voice: There actually is a reason, Mr. Wake.

Alistair turned around to find a busty, blonde girl approaching him.

Alistair: I know that voice anywhere. You're that annoying-sounding student council president.
Milly Ashford: Yes, I am. Since you caught the cat, you get the special reward.
Alistair: The hell could you offer me?
Milly: Didn't you hear the announcement? You get a kiss from a member of the student council.
Alistiar: Oh, hell no. (hands cat to Suzaku) There's no way in hell that I'm allowing that to happen. I'm off to my place. (looks at orange haired girl) Oh, and I'm gonna need my hat back.
Shirley Fenette: Huh? (realizes she's wearing Alistair's hat) Oh. (takes hat off) Sorry. I forgot you put this on me. (hands Alistair his hat)
Alistair: (puts hat back on) Thank you. (looks at Shirley's face, smiling) You're pretty cute.
Shirley: (blushes) What are you saying?! You trying to take advantage of me?! Is that it?!
Alistair: Cool your jets. It's just a compliment. I'm trying to make sure I got the charm right. I don't wanna accidentally call you beautiful if you're not.
Shirley: (stops blushing) Oh... Yeah, you got it right.
Alistair: Sweet. Catch you on the flip side. (starts walking away)
Milly: Hold up.
Alistair: (stops smiling and walking) The hell do you want, now?
Milly: I have been told to let you join the student council.
Alistair: Well, that's tough crap, 'cause I'm not interested.
Lelouch: (shouting from a distance) Well, I'm part of the council! And I think Suzaku should join, too!
Alistair: Where do I sign?
Milly: Awesome! Good to have you aboard. As you heard, I'm Milly Ashford, the council president. Lelouch is vice president.
Alistair: I met the last vice president of America, on multiple occasions. Had to kill him 'cause of his anarchic and tyrannical tendencies. In short, he was a prick.
Milly: I'm certain he won't be like that.
Alistair: Splendid.
Milly: The girl that you were just talking to is Shirley. She's part of the swim club.
Alistair: Adorable as hell and bears emerald eyes. I can live with that. The current female uniform, on the other hand, bugs me. I hate miniskirts with a passion. Disrespects girls, in my opinion.
Lelouch: How do you not have a girlfriend!?
Shirley: He's single?! He's able to save two people from falling to their deaths by running up a wall, and he's single!? And he's not even a pervert!
Alistair: So true, Shirley. I would gouge my own eyes out if I saw a single speck of female nude.
Lelouch: And charismatic! Don't forget charismatic!
Suzaku: Also true!
Milly: The shy girl with the green hair and glasses is Nina.
Alistair: I can already tell that Nina is some sort of science prodigy. Probably converting forms of energy into a form of weaponry.
Milly: Sounds like you're a science prodigy, as well.
Alistair: Does it look like I have a Phased Plasma Rifle on hand, Busty?
Milly: A what?
Alistair: I thought as much.
Rivalz Cardemonde: And I'm Rivalz!
Alistair: (deadpan) Oh, my God. You're just as annoying as her.
Milly: And the redhead is Kallen.
Alistair: (normal tone) Redhead? How nice to see you! Wait, where's your jacket?
Kallen Stadtfeld: Shirley's wearing it over her swimsuit.
Alistair: (to Shirley)...I'm gonna take a guess and say that you were in the midst of going for a high-dive when the announcement started. You freaked out over the "special prize" bullcrap, lost your balance and fell into the water. You were so flustered by everything that you didn't have time to change and you happened to bump into Kallen, right?
Shirley: Are... Are you a cop?
Alistair: Mercenary, actually. I just have top-notch detective skills.
Suzaku: He preaches the truth!
Alistair: (to Lelouch and Suzaku) Look, if you guys are gonna talk, don't do it from a freakin' distance! Get your asses over here! (to other student council members) I'm also a comedian.
Kallen: That was quite good. When you first got here, I was actually having a hard time holding back my laughter when you called our class "Foreign Affairs."
Alistair: Because Japan is awesome. Hell, I've been here, like, 12 years ago. So, I pretty much know Japan like the back of my hand. Except for the fact that we currently have anarchistic assholes all over the damn country.
Rivalz: You don't find us to be assholes, do you?
Alistair: (points to Rivalz) You're annoying. (points to Milly) You're hella annoying. (points to Lelouch) You're cool. (points to Suzaku) You were nearly a victim. (points to Shirley) You're cute as hell. (points to Nina) I don't know how you can handle all the crap that you have to put up with. (points to Kallen) And you? I respect you.
Kallen: Uh... Thanks, I guess.
Alistair: You are most certainly welcome.

It was then that Alistair noticed that the crowd of students was leaving and heading towards the auditorium.

Alistair: Where are they going?
Milly: It's time for the funeral.
Alistair: What funeral?
Lelouch: Prince Clovis' funeral.
Alistair: Who?
Milly: My grandfather wants to talk to you, probably to inform you more, Alistair.
Alistair: Oh, so you're the principal's granddaughter, huh?
Milly: He's at the auditorium, waiting for you. Better go see him.
Alistair: Fine by me.

As Alistair walked into the auditorium, the principal gestured at Alistair to get his attention. Alistair walked towards the principal and they began walking towards somewhere, together.

Principal Ashford: So, you showed up.
Alistair: What's going on, again?
Principal Ashford: It's Prince Clovis' funeral.
Alistair: Who the hell's Clovis?
Principal Ashford: A prince of Britannia? The Viceroy of Area 11?
Alistair: Not ringing any bells, chief.
Principal Ashford: What else? Uh... He was...Aryan, I believe the word is?
Alistair: Oh! The Aryan prick! The only Aryan amongst the imperialistic asshole family. Wait, he's dead?
Principal Ashford: Yes. It was all due to Zero that this happened.
Alistair: Zero?
Principal Ashford: Ah. I forget that you're out of the loop on what's going on, here.
Alistair: Thank you, Captain Obvious. I'll learn about this, on my own time.
Principal Ashford: Of course.
Alistair: Where the hell are we going, anyway?
Principal Ashford: We're going to view the funeral from a different area than the students.
Alistair: Uh-huh.

Alistair and Principal Ashford arrived at the room where they would view the funeral from. Alistair sat at one of the chairs at the middle of the table, while Principal Ashford remained standing. A large screen was showing news footage of the funeral in Britannia's Homeland.

Funeral Announcer: And now, His Royal Majesty, the 98th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire.

On the screen, a man, most likely in his 60s, approached the podium in front of a large picture of a man with blonde hair and blue eyes, whom Alistair guessed was Clovis. Alistair recognized the man at the podium as Charles zi Britannia, the current Emperor of Britannia.

Principal Ashford: He must be devastated by his son's death.
Alistair: If you think Clovis' death is the upset of the century, then you're sorely mistaken.

At that point, the Emperor began his speech.

Charles zi Britannia: All men...are not created equal!
Alistair: There it is.
Charles: Some are born swifter of foot, some with greater beauty. Some are born into poverty, and others born sick and feeble. Both in birth and in upbringing, in sheer scope of ability, every human is inherently different.
Alistair: Does he even realize how much of a jackass he sounds like? 'Cause, he's not very likeable, right now.
Charles: Yes! That is why people discriminate against one another! Which is why there is struggle, competition, and the unfaltering march of progress!
Alistair: Progress, my ass. You're practically saying that you allow terrorism. Hell, you're saying that ruining people's lives is your job. Nothing more than a Caesar, a Lannister, at best.
Charles: Inequality! Inequality is not wrong! Equality is!
Alistair: You punk-ass.
Charles: What of the E.U., which made equality a right? Rabble politics by a popularity contest! The Chinese Federation, with its equal distribution of wealth? A nation of lazy dullards! But not our beloved Britannia! We fight, we compete! Evolution is continuous!
Alistair: (gets up from chair, imitating Charles) We slice them! We dice them! We chicken-fried rice them! We just straight-up kill people!
Charles: Britannia, alone, moves forward, advancing steadily into the future. Even the death of my son, Clovis, demonstrates Britannia's unswerving commitment to progress.
Alistair: I am an absolute jackass! I learned from Samuel Hawking that death and destruction are forms of ecstasy! All shall bow before my ego!
Charles: We will fight hard! We shall struggle, compete, plunder, and dominate! And in the end, the future shall be ours! All Hail Britannia!

At the end of the speech, the crowd attending the funeral repeatedly chant "All Hail Britannia," showing their support for the Emperor.

Alistair: (normal voice) Mocking people like him is fun. I can't wait to kick his ass.
Principal Ashford: I'll admit, that was a good impression that you just did.
Alistair: Thank you. Hams can be easy to mimic, once you know how hammy they are.
Principal Ashford: I see that. What do you think?
Alistair: You heard what I think. He's a glorified Caesar, who gets an erection when there's chaos in the world. He's a Social Darwinist, a racist, a terrorist and an imperialistic asshole.
Principal Ashford: I see that, now.
Alistair: I bet you do. Amazing enough, I don't think he knows about my hit.
Principal Ashford: What hit?
Alistair: Every bad guy across the globe knows about me. How I stopped two seemingly unbeatable factions, single-handedly. To those bad guys, I am worth 20 billion U.S. Dollars.
Principal Ashford: (surprised) Mother of God.
Alistair: Yeah. If the Emperor of Ego doesn't know I'm here, then that complicates things. So, I need to find a way to let him know of my existence. Thanks for letting me critique the funeral. I got some planning to do. (begins walking away)
Principal Ashford: Wait. I have to ask this: what do you have to gain from all this? What did Britannia do to you?
Alistair: Exist. Not only that, but they shot me and killed innocent civilians in my country, including my parents. So, yeah. The math really adds up.
Principal Ashford: What did they shoot you with?
Alistair: Knightmares.

Alistair left a shocked Principal Ashford in the room as he made his way for the exit. On his way to the auditorium exit, he could hear the continuous chanting from the screen that the students were watching from. The chanting merely invigorated Alistair's confidence to stop Britannia.

Funeral Attendees: All Hail Britannia! All Hail Britannia! All Hail Britannia!
Alistair: (thinking) Time to rock this place wide open. Bring your tyranny, so I can return its existence to dust.