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nihilim — G R O C E R I E S
Published: 2003-07-27 00:43:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 451; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 30
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Description
.get your groceries,
we are going down the street.
do not make eye contact,
keep your arms inside.
you will not be hurt.
if their skin is so dark
it is because it is dirty.
\'what is dirty\'
because they are so dirty
their skin is so dark.
do not make eye contact.
do not be afraid.
they\'re just as scared as you are.
they are just as scared as you are.
now get back inside.
now put them inside.
do not let them dirty.
.
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Comments: 21
Fine piece. As has been stated before, I think that the middle part is strongest. Briefly sums up the cul-de-sac racists tend to think in...
Best regards
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Shit, after another read of this, I love it, +FAV but you knew that...right?
Unless the pot has clogged up your memory.
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Awesome poem. This happens everyday in my hometown. Two neighboring cities seperated by a river, one side black, one side white. My best friend is black, it was evident everywhere you went. This poem describes it exactly.
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This is really interesting... the approach, the repetition. I do think it could be stronger, and I think that your comment -- my mother's father etc...-- (as someone mentioned) might be the way to do it. Those words were actually the most powerful to me.
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haha,
i wrote/thought that up after the poem.
it's a good point. if i ever get around to reworking this,
i'll take that into serious consideration.
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explainations of the blind
will find time for surface
when men walk without feet
i am caught by your excellence
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By my first comment, I meant you should try to incorporate the mention of the grandfather or an elderly person into the work, not making it clear its about racism. That's clear, heh.
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good thought.
this might be a good idea,
but i am not sure.
i made no specific mention
as to the nature of the speakers,
as to keep the ideas expressed as ideas,
and not ideologies,
if there's a difference.
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Such a paradox.
Don't be afraid of them (but don't make eye contact).
You know how most social or moral belief systems/prejudices have SOME sort of semi-sensical basis, that, when explained by a skilled orator, makes people say "well... he has a point." ? Well, I think that racism really doesn't even have that much.
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you don't?
i can find plenty of reasons
for racism.
but then i would be accused
of making the weaker argument
defeat the stronger.
[much like the author of your signature]
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Oh? Well.. if you don't mind my asking, what are they? I mean, logical reasons?
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some are logical.
many are racists by experience.
if every man of a certain race
i have known,
[or even most],
i could conclude
that it would be good for me
to avoid that race.
race differences,
despite what they teach you in school,
are not only skin deep.
there are cultural forces in action,
and while one can obviously never conclude
that all people of a certain race are a certain way,
it can be concluded,
justifiably,
that it would be wise
for one to avoid said race.
yes,
it's discrimination,
but i do not believe
discrimination is fundamentally wrong.
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you should work the comment into the piece somehow, it would aid a lot. As it stands its too bare, but if you worked in the mention of a grandfather so as you hint at racism, you would do well.
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you should work the comment into the piece somehow, it would aid a lot. As it stands its too bare, but if you worked in the mention of a grandfather so as you hint at racism, you would do well.
i agree.
i enjoy your comments.
and,
as i've returned
to deviantart,
i hope to hear from you
in the future.
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if their skin is so dark
it is because it is dirty.
'what is dirty'
because they are so dirty
their skin is so dark.
I like this part - the 'logic' behind racism
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yes i agree, this poem stirred things. my first thought was to leave. because it stirred anger. then i read. and it stirred sadness over ignorance. but then i thought perhaps the writer is writing about his grandfather's ignorance and not his. which left me with relief and a sudden love for the writing and a realization that i was the ignorant one for reading into something and judging before i finished. so im really glad i stayed and finished. 
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o.o I disagree with the above comment, and think it wasnt very constructive at all!
The flow of the poem is interesting, and the topic brings in a lot of emotion, which you work with well. Definetly leaves the reader with a stirred concious and a deep thought or two. Good job!
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i particularly like the "keep your arms inside"
what does that mean, its so strange.
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