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niketheconqueror — An Ancient, Love Story
Published: 2012-12-21 00:21:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 167; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description An old woman walks to an old, abandoned house in the woods. She looks at the house as small tears were coming out of her eyes. This house was where her beloved used to hang out with their friends when they were 10 years old every Halloween night. She walked in the house and looked around. It was the same when she and her friends first came in. Back when she was young, she never really loved her beloved until she got older, but he always loved her no matter how much she hated him. She closed her eyes and saw the memory.

It was a Halloween night in the year 2001; she and her best friend, were trick-or-treating. She was dressed as a princess and her friend was a witch. They were going to another house until they spotted their friends, who were boys. One was dressed as a Batman, one a ghost, another as a mad scientist, and the other one, who was her beloved was dressed as a soldier from the army. The boy who was dressed as Batman told his friends about an old, abandoned house that was said that it was haunted and that they should check it out. They walked to the abandoned house in the wood, up on a cliff. They entered the house and looked the ancient house with amazement. They walked around the house and the girl didn't like it and was scared. Her beloved offered his hand so she wouldn't be scared but, she scoffed and walked away from him. The friends walked creaking stairs, entered rooms, and look though the windows. They finally realized that the house wasn't haunted until their friend who was dressed as a ghost scared himself which caused them to scream and run out of the house. From that moment on, they continued to go to that house every Halloween night.

The old woman wiped her tears and walked up the stair to an old bedroom. She sat on the bed and looked through the balcony windows to the sunset. She used to lie on this bed with her beloved whenever she was sad and scared. She remember how she used to stay away from him, call him names like "loser" or "weirdo", and told him that he would never have a chance with her; but it never bother him, never hurt his feelings, or anything. He just smiled because he kept his eyes and mind wide open and his hopes unbroken. She finally realized how much he loved her when he sacrificed himself to save her from an attack and he told her that she was worth saving. He survived the attack and at the end, he finally had what he truly wanted: her. They never saw each other when she was married to a rich man at the age of 18. It was an arrange marriage because her stepdad wasted her parents' money on gambling. They both spent their last day together in the house, laying on the bed, and slept until sunrise. He held her in his arms tightly as if she was made of gold. At her wedding, she prayed that he would come and talk her away, but he didn't. It turned out that he died in a car crash when he was going to stop her wedding. She felt torn apart when she learned what happened and cry. Every night when she would fall asleep, she would see him and told her to wait for him and that they would be together again. Her husband had died two months ago, but she didn't care because he took her away from her love.

As night came, she lies down on the bed and fell asleep. She was awoken by a gentle shake on her shoulders. She stirred and opened her eyes to see the ghost of her beloved. He offered his hand just like before but this time, she accepted. As she held his hand, she turned young again and as a ghost for she had died when she took his hand. A gentle breeze opened the balcony window and they both walk outside to the balcony and disappeared for they were finally together and nothing can tear them apart ever again.
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Comments: 18

ZEB31 [2012-12-21 00:59:26 +0000 UTC]

You want my honest opinion?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 01:04:25 +0000 UTC]

yeah..... let me guess, you hate it?

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 01:07:01 +0000 UTC]

It's very bad. Bad grammar, very boring, got the plot but it didn't have what all stories have.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 01:11:31 +0000 UTC]

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 01:13:16 +0000 UTC]

YOu just need work. Read some other short stories. You need to be more descriptive.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 01:21:18 +0000 UTC]

*sigh* how about I just give up, it'll make life easier for me.... I mean we're all gonna die tomorrow so why do I give a damn. That story was stuck in my head for two days and when I finally wrote it, it sucked. (don't get mad and all, you know its the truth)

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 01:28:59 +0000 UTC]

Don't get mad at me. YOur being a winey child! The world is not gonna end and that's the truth!! I don't want to talk anymore. This end of the world thing is stupid. So stop complaining about it. If you don't try you'll never know if you fail. Failure is what makes us stronger.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 03:20:14 +0000 UTC]

No failure is what turns us into monsters.... LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO HITLER!

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 03:24:52 +0000 UTC]

...believe what you want. You just don't want to here me try to chear you up and help you. After just 2 years I tried to keep you happy. And now you just want to hate me.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 03:36:55 +0000 UTC]

Well no offence, you did made it worse

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 03:49:22 +0000 UTC]

What ever...not my fault you are so sensitive about everything.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 04:07:35 +0000 UTC]

yeah, its a problem I have. Don't worry I'm mad anymore, I FINALLY have help, from the GREATEST friend of mine

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 04:36:03 +0000 UTC]

sarcasm does not work on me. I've been trying to help you.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 04:41:13 +0000 UTC]

not you, my buddy Erika. She offered me her help and at least she liked my story

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 04:42:10 +0000 UTC]

*roles eyes* The story just needs work. If you wokred on it a little more I'll read it again.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 04:44:28 +0000 UTC]

like?

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ZEB31 In reply to niketheconqueror [2012-12-21 04:52:22 +0000 UTC]

YOu need to make it more like E.A.Poe's...more descriptive.

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niketheconqueror In reply to ZEB31 [2012-12-21 05:15:50 +0000 UTC]

You mean like my other stories?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0