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Nimbus-grey — Cosmic Love
Published: 2012-08-11 21:45:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 282; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 4
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The Miracle Of Maralee JensRelated content
Comments: 7
BOO!
CorkFlakes the art critique here! I read your plea for help via the page of Tom Preston (Tom Preston recommending feedback for people... oh the irony!), and as is expected, have come to critique your works. Just a warning, don't expect me to pull any punches!
Hmm... we might have some work to do here. I can name 3 key problems here that require fixing:
the anatomy, the shading, and the visual clutter. My Modern Warfare game beckons me to kill some noobs, so lets cut this froggie open, shall we?
- Shading
Hoo boy, I don't mean to sound like a condescending assbucket, but boy does your shading require fixing! The shading in this picture is bad. Really bad. The issue: you made the shading too dark! Instead of it looking like natural lighting, it looks more like your characters got covered in soot. You can get away with this if the base lighting were brighter, but the picture looks really dark, so either the lighting in the image is terrible or there was a volcanic eruption here not too long ago.
- Anatomy
Lucky for you, this one isn't too bad. (Not as bad as the shading anyways) The arm is too short and looks broken, and she doesn't have a pelvis (hipbone). Nothing bad, but still in need of fixing.
- The Visual Clutter
Remember how I said the image is too dark to compliment your charcoal dust shading? Well, this is kind of what I meant. Where does this image take place? In space? I assume so, because of the glowing galaxies in the background. But if it is space, why is Ronny Redshirt crouching rather than floating like Maralee( I assume thats her name). And what are those branches in the background? Are they in a forest? If so, why are there galaxies in the background? I acknowledge that some weird backgrounds can exist and DO work, but this just a visual clusterfuck.
Welp, that's all she wrote. While there are QUITE a few issues in this drawing, I do believe it can be fixed. Don't be discouraged my soot-coated chum, we all make mistakes. It's knowing what we do wrong that makes us good artists. Take my critique to heart and improve your technique! Don't be like Tom Preston and settle for complacency and mediocrity, improve your craft! With a bit of practice, You'll be drawing ten times better than anyone in the hodgepodge of copycats and losers known as deviantArt!
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Thank you for the Critique!
This is actually a drawing for a novel I'm working on, so some of it obviously won't make sense to you.
To address the shading, It's supposed to be at night lit by a street light, but since you can't see the street light which in the novel is actually casting some pretty harsh light.
You're right about the anatomy, this was drawn before I started taking my extra studies in anatomy.
While I understand why this doesn't make sense, since context is everything, and the novel isn't even done yet. Maralee is obsessed with the stars, hence the nebula super imposed on the grass (which is easier to identify as grass in the bigger, full sized, image)her and Brighton (the boy) were star gazing. But I do understand that it's really cluttered.
Thank you again, but just so you know, Tom has been improving as of late, and DA isn't as bad as many people think, just stay away from the newest page XD. Once again, Thank you! I really appreciate it.
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I like how you did the shading on the clothes and the hair. Nice job.
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