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notabot999 β Time For A Third eBook
#pregnancy #pregnantbelly #unbirth #pregnancyfetish
Published: 2017-02-23 20:10:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 108073; Favourites: 843; Downloads: 0
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And now I have three eBooks with this new one: It Came From WithinCandice has a mixed relationship with her sexuality and when she delves into it and ends up pregnant, she has no idea what she has in store for herself as she quickly develops an intimidatingly large belly.
This one is kind of an experiment on my part. I have never written or even been all that interested in "erotic horror" but I thought I might challenge myself with this one and I did my research into horror, particularly feminine horror (not to be confused with feminist horror, which is also cool) to come up with this idea.
In it, you will find pregnancy, sex, unbirthing, other weirdness. **I have been asked to specify that "other weirdness" does not include bursting/popping. There is no bursting or popping in this story**
Cover art by internet bad boy zdemian , plus bonus art inside the story.
Smashwords
Kindle
Nook
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Comments: 26
Is there a way for people who bought this book (or it's predecessor for that matter) to download higher-resolution versions of the artwork inside?
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It is on Nook and your tone is obnoxiousΒ
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I was going for the sarcastic questioning bit
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that really only works if you can hear the tone in someone's voice and if both people involved know each other so they understand each person's intentions and have mutual trust and respect
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Awesome read. I'd give this my seal of approval, if I had one.
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i got a copy to support your work it was good and i also got your work be careful what you wish for they were both good reads
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This was a rough one dude. I like your writing but there's a *lot* here that left something to be desired.
I think a good example of this recurring trend is the first thing that jumped out at me; Candice turning slutty and going to a sex party and getting knocked up, great. I could even see it as a counter to the way her conservative parents raised her, even if the part of her being *this* horny and wanting to get pregnant had been there since middle school was a bit silly, since I figured she'd get knocked up in high school if it was that powerful. But...her parents or her upbringing was never mentioned. When she shows up and she's pregnant, it feels very arbitrary and unseeded. Despite being *pregnant*, she never even drops anything about her parents being mad or shocked or anything, nor is she in denial or trying not think about it. It just kind of happens.
This is kind of recurring through the whole story. Character beats and scenes kind of just come and go, and never get seeded or addressed. Her Korean friend who was into vore/unbirthing, why not mention her earlier? Even her just missing her in the earliest parts of the story? Why is she demanding people worship her, I thought she was really meek and bashful? And if she swallowed and birthed someone, is that ever going to come up again or are we just moving on? Is she embracing the pregnancy stuff or is she scared and horrified at it? There's a huge consistency problem between scenes and it makes it feel like a string of loosely connected vignettes than a focused story about characters and a world with rules.
And the most frustrating thing is that when you have a story revolving around a mystery -- what's in her belly, which from the entire thing revolves around starting with her growing incredibly large incredibly fast, to the point of the cover image setting up "what's happening inside me?" -- to have it end with the mystery both not being explained and not even addressed? That is massively frustrating! She just...kind of has the baby, and then passes...whatever...to her friend? Even though her belly was mocking her for getting pregnant on purpose? The closest thing you have is an implication of some sort of, what, mutation? Like she's the next stage of humanity? Which causes...a pregnancy to communicate to you like a real person in addition to causing...everything else that happens in the story?
I spent a good chunk of reading it with a few complaints, since I was waiting for the conclusion, since provided there's something really out there -- like alien DNA tampering, government research, hallucinations, magic, genies, anything -- it would all at least be plausible. But to have it just kind of stop with no explanation at all is just awful. Which is a shame, because there's stuff about your writing that I really like -- your descriptions are good, your winking sense of humor is great (Laye Uni is completely hilarious for a school that's constantly plagued with orgies and hookups), and you really take the craft seriously. But I would urge you to really, really think about your characters next time and think about how they got where they are and what they want, then build your stories around this.
I hope you take this criticism well, I'm not trying to shit on you at all, I just honestly want your writing to be better (as a reader and writer myself) and this sort of thing bothers me since you're so close to being good.
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I typically just reply to criticism/feedback with people I sort of know but I saw you put a lot of work into writing and phrasing this so I want to be respectful.
Up front, a lot of your criticisms are things I very specifically wanted. With regards to what she's carrying and how it all works, it would not be scary or horror if she learned all the mechanics and details. The unknown is a powerful source of fear. I'm not a big Lovecraft fan but he articulated that very well with the fear and insanity of his best stories coming from something unknowable or unseen.
Moving back and forth between her trying to enjoy her pregnancy and sex and being afraid of what's happening to her is also what I tried to make an underlying theme. Having a flicker of hope constantly snatched away is stressful and adds on to her fear. And it fits the biggest horror element with Candice losing control of her body.
I understand that it did not work out in this case but this is just what I was going for.
As for Candice's interactions with other characters, I get not giving them enough time. The moment with her parents is too brief and while I hinted at Karen in the beginning, I could have talked about her more early on or throughout.
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Lovecraft is directly right when he says the fear of the unknown is powerful but there's an internal consistency to his vision of horror that has rules to it. There is usually an Old God that's behind the dark machinations, ie. There is nothing in here that spurns the events that unfold in the story, which led me to believe the story is a mystery with a reveal, and then there was no reveal. As a reader, that's giving me literary blueballs because it means (as far as I can tell) the events just kind of happen for no reason, or because you wanted them to happen. Through the story, I'm worried about Candace's belly and then, I'm worried about *everyone*, but then when I get to the end and it's just a normal baby and "it" happens to her friend and there's no voice anymore, I'm not afraid of anything, I'm just confused. The Old Gods exist in Lovecraft to explicitly handle this exact thing.
There were parts of her flipping back and forth that I did like and felt consistent, FWIW, such as her encouraging her two friends to get knocked up, or when she started to get into girls, but it added to the "is something taking over her body? Is this voice causing her to do this? Is there some dark spirit in her?" that probably made the ending feel more frustrating.Β
As for Karen, I kind of liked the idea of her being into unbirth/vore but having her A - show up suddenly and B - blurt out about all of it felt very convenient in ways that I thought her passenger would have been responsible for...but wasn't. I could totally see Karen being her "Freak" friend into weird internet kink shit and them having a friendly ribbing about it, then she shows up and spells out that pregnancy was one of them and it's awkward, then later in another day Candace mentions when she "ate" someone and held them in her belly and Karen seems too into it, etc etc etc. As a fellow kink writer I totally get wanting to get to the "good part" but it means characters feel cartoonishly, porno-esque blunt. "How am I EVER going to pay for this pizza???", ie. Show, not tell, and all that.Β
Anyway I don't want you to stop, I do like your writing and you have a lot of talent but I'd encourage you to think about setting up more guns on mantlepieces before they get shot in the third act, it makes for better reading (imo).
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i like your other two i got from Amazon do you know how much you will sell it on amazon cuz i will buy a copy to support your work
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It'll be the same price as before. It should be on Amazon within a day or so.
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I'll be happily buying this -- I have had an interest in your writing career even if I've been very critical about some of your work. This sounds like a good writerly challenge and I'll have more to say when I buy and read it.
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Another book from Notabot!!??? My life just became delightful!
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Love your first two ebooks. Will certainly get this one.
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Just bought this and I'm reading it now. Its absolutely sublime so far 
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Begs the question of what 'other weirdness' is in-store: if she's going to pop then I'm not interested at all. What sort of horror are we talking about?Β
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She doesn't pop, I'll say that. There's no violence or gore or stuff like that.
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Thanks for the clarification! Might want to put a warning in the description because popping was the first thing I thought of as well (and I don't really care for it).
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