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Nullibicity β Habitual Patterns
Published: 2012-07-06 03:17:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 573; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 2
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Description
Circles, always circles. The juncture of an end and beginning, bringing about lightheadedness, which too becomes cycles of circles; spinning and twisting. Trapped in dizzy revolutions; a prison of the infinite, holding and containing like rope rubbing raw bruises and scars. There's no room for escape, for breath, or thought, just an oval path that lures desperate feet, slapping their shoes off pavement as they outrun themselves, but arrive nowhere.
And I'm guilty as charged: a marathon runner motivated solely by the buzzing desperation of fear. I outrun my footsteps, my shadow and thoughtsβ myself; I'm so sick of circles, their continuous lines of motion that stir bile and saliva. They get me nowhereβ nothing; just disoriented thoughts, and an overwhelming sense of vertigo.
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Comments: 28
I actually think this would do better in prose form. I love your concept, but I think it would fit a story or paragraph better than a poem. And of course the imagery was great.
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Huh, I've never done prose before! Thanks for your input! I never would have thought of prose as an option! I have such lovely people giving me such beautiful and helpful critiques that I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude 
Quick question, though, if you don't mind: Since I haven't done any prose before, do I just take all the stanzas and make it into one large paragraph (with possible paragraphs after if the ideas don't connect well being within the same one)? I'm just not entirely sure.
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You're very welcome (as always) for the feedback and I hope to give more soon.
I would either make this one paragraph or break it at the start of the third stanza. It's up to you to play around with, though. Who knows, it might be a lot better in poem form. You can never tell until you try.
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Thank-you!! I'm glad you liked it, and could enjoy it!
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I'll read your other work
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That means a lot to me that you would do so! Thank you 
Best wishes to you!
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Life is all patterns and habits, cycles of living that can trap us all, holding us tight and leaving us feeling hopeless, unable to figure out how to break free.
You capture that essence very well here.
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Thank-you!
Best wishes to you!
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You are most welcome.
It was a pleasure to read.
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I am so excited to hear that! Thank you once again
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You like vocaloids and Rise Against. Even if I didn't your work, I would still like you.
I write poetry occassionally - a similar style, etc.
I can't say I can tell if you're improving - but then, I don't judge poetry by how something is expressed. To do so would be unfair on anyone, because then I'm judging their spirit.
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Lol, well thank you! I just appreciate music in all its emotional and inspiring complexity.
Oh, even if I was back-tracking I don't think you'd know until about 5 poems later; I tend to improve slowly, which makes those markers of accomplishment even more special. Though I suppose going back down the improvement ladder would be pretty obvious within just one poem, however I'd hope it to be only temporary, haha.
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This is beautiful (much more than okay). Your style is amazing, imagery and an experience vocabulary combine to create an awesome work. My favorite line has to be, "A prison of the infinite", there is a massive chunk of imagery within that one line and if I could draw it I would ^_^ I also love how you started off broad but toward the end made the poem more and more personal, allowing the reader to connect with you in a special way. Amazing work and I hope to read more amazing work from you
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I really think I owe you a hug or something, because your comment pretty much just rocked my world XD. I want to thank you for such a well thought-out comment, and for the time you took to both read my poem, and jot down your thoughts into your lovely comment. It is warmly appreciated, and you definitely have my gratitude!
The way you commented was beautiful, too, as I felt the need to point that out. Are you a writer, too? It sounds like you draw, though, which I must say kudos to you for: I am a master of the stick-figure, but my artistic skills beyond that (concerning drawing, anyway) are in much need of help.
Well I hope to not disappoint you, then! Thanks so very much, again, for commenting! It really means a lot to me.
Best wishes to you!
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Haha, unless you count drawing with words then no I don't draw (first thing in your reply that struck me 
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Ah, well my mistake! Hmm you seem to have an eye for detail, though (afterall you pointed out so much about this poem): I think you'd be good at it
A writer is a writer! 
Aww, well thank you! I know I'm probably saying that too much, but I really appreciate when people comment with such thought and heart. It makes me smile, and no doubt: happy!
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Haha it is no problem that you ask me such questions, matter of fact, I tend to enjoy them. However I do urge you to take a look around my gallery and see if you happen to like anything. Especially since I am not exactly sure of what you mean by what writing do I do.
Oh and I have an eye for detail because I am rather critical (too much my friends say) of my work and so look for the small flaws.
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"Not that you absolutely love my work or any thing..." Really? Cuz you know that we do. We being those who repeatedly comment on your writings. Love your word choices in this one.
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Gah. You and your flattery. .. have I ever told you I love you? 
Thank you so much for being one of those people who comments on my work! I appreciate every single one, as they offer me perspective and opinions. Not many people actually make a habit of commenting on my work, though (but of course I appreciate even the one-timers! I am so very grateful for ANY comment I can get), so I really value you. Thank you for supporting me, as I'm pretty much nothing without that. Sad, but true.
I'm glad you liked it, and thanks again!!
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Gaaahhh! You and your constant hugging....stop it or I might start actually liking it....
And you are very welcome. I try to comment on others works as much as possible....make me feel like a good person...
Also, have more faith in your self. As you can tell from my comments, and others, your poems are good. And I'm not using flattery, only truth.
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.....
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Mwahaha XD! Gotcha! Oh geez, I feel like a little kid with a new shiny toy 
*ahem* But back to serious business here 
You are a good person! Though I will admit I don't know you very well, when I hear from you, you are always so kind and uplifting as well as thoughtful! You always manage to make me smile, at least, and to me, that makes you a pretty awesome person. Especially when sometimes I just really need to smile. Smiling lifts you out of dark moods, definitely!
Then we shall reword it to compliments, and both accept it is truth~ Thanks! I'm blushing a wee bit over here XD. Oh wow... I really need to get something to eat and go to bed: I'm feeling dizzy and giddy lol. but really: thanks. I'm lucky to have a watcher like you!
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*Dodges first hug then is crushed by others.....* And N.O. smiling! JK, ^^
Compliments...*Tests out the taste of the word* Yeah that works.
And thanks for calling me a good person. You, my friend, are one too.
*In a sing songy voice that may or may not be off key*
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no noooooooooooooo!
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You are most welcome! It is only the truth, and I really do appreciate everything you've done for me! Our conversations are always a pleasure, and your wonderful words leave me with such gratitude. So thank you 
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You are a cruel person just letting me get killed.......
Your welcome
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Very nice, dear! Sorry I've lost touch with you lately; I'll try to keep up with your writing from here on out. Your skills have been improving!
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It's so nice to hear from you!!
No worries! I pretty much lost touch with the dA world for a while there, too. I'm just so happy to receive a comment from you 
Thanks so much for the comment, and best wishes to you!
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Glad you understand!
And it's not prideful or egotistical to recognize you're improving; it's a mark of self-awareness, which is a tough thing to cultivate, especially when it comes to your talents. But you HAVE been improving-- I'm thrilled that you can "feel" your poetry as you write it, it sounds amazing... like you said you got dizzy writing this one. Don't lose that sensitivity; in my experience, it's very rare. And precious.
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