HOME | DD
Nullibicity — r.e.m.
#aspiring #inspiration #poetry #whereihavebeen
Published: 2017-07-25 18:32:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 525; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Dreams be soft,like petals, but they have the
persistence of iron, the grip of death,
and they rattle your head until
you cannot look away.
To look away is to die.
To look away is to die
and I am not drowsy.
These truths are restless.
They will not sleep;
I cannot sleep.
Related content
Comments: 25
I like this. It is vague, yes, but the words are powerful and, I feel, well-chosen. And the repetitions in the second stanza are perhaps the best feature. Kudos!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. Sorry it took me so long to get to.
I wrote this poem at probably three in the morning, and it was this transformative kind of resolution to life, in a way. Yes, it's very vague... but given that it felt so powerful at the time, I'm glad it could mean something to someone. Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'd imagined there was _something_ behind it, yes. It's nice discovering these kind of things, adds a whole new dimension to the poem. And I hope that resolution did good for you in the end.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I appreciate those who try to look deeper - especially in my own work, because it is so ambiguous. So thank you!
Like the description mentioned, I was heavily contemplating life and the parts people felt faithful to. The resolution was definitely invaluable for me!
Have a great week!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're welcome! I liked the ambiguousness. I think it lends itself to more interpretation (I think the best user of this trope was T.S. Eliot, by the way),so kudos for your use of it!
P.S.Have a great week yourself, and sorry for the late reply!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I remember spending weeks on T.S. Eliot in high school. The diversity of the interpretive responses was one of my favorite things!
No worries! I'm sporadically active, and one writer among countless on this site. Thank you for your feedback and replying, in general! Have a great week!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks, you too! And happy writing also, while we're at it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
okay, I immediately started brainstorming title ideas, and I've come up with some killer titles lately, like 'headless' and 'human consumption' and stuff like that, where it's not obvious, or too literal or highlights one bit too much, but stands apart as its own creative thing I came up with, that unifies the whole thing. I've thought of one so far, for this thing.
'folded into'
I don't know where that came from and I don't think it really works, looking at it.
umm...
'r.e.m.'
might be my pick for a winner.
'nonesuch'
that's just a record label and a cool word, and whatever.
'is to die'
'false unconscious'
'duck dynasty'
'clockwork,'
('a clockwork blue,' 'a clockwork gray,' iunno? 'clockwork' is good, I like that.)
Or 'Untitled' is just perfect, who cares, I thought I'd throw stuff at you, for fun. oh, pretty poem, by the way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Firstly, you are wonderful. Thank you. My pen does not deserve your eyeballs.
I actually really like "r.e.m." I almost spit my coffee out at "duck dynasty" so thank you for making my day
Feel free to throw ducks, and gifs, and bricks at me whenever you'd like. That was damn entertaining!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm guessing which direction you are in, relative to me, and throwing ducks as hard as I can.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Dreams be soft,
like petals, but they have the
persistence of iron
--great opening. and I like the dreams be
rather than "are" as it enhances the description of their softness
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I actually had not thought of it that way. Thank you so much for the perspective, and the comment! Both are warmly appreciated.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
What an elegant way to describe the unphrasable thoughts I've had recently.
I'd been experiencing persistent nightmares, which were making it incredibly difficult to sleep at night while simultaneously exhausting me and causing me to sleep my days away. Even when I was awake, they left me feeling uneasy. I felt like I was losing myself to them, but they were just dreams--uncontrollable, uncatchable whisps of smoke that were clouding my mind. They've ceased, but I still wonder about them, and the quiet power they possessed.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm glad this could relate to your situation, though I'm sorry to hear about the nightmares. That reminds me of a time in my life where I would have such intense nightmares and open my eyes, only to see my fist clenched and shaking in the background, the dream continuing overtop. It was almost like a multiple exposure shot in a camera. Luckily those stopped long ago. I'm glad you've been able to find some peace.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sounds intense... Like a night-terror or sleep paralysis, but maybe worse. O.o
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Huh, you know I actually never thought about it like that. I'm honestly not sure. Sticking to the instance I gave of seeing my fist shaking... I was aware it was my fist, and I was aware there were two scenes I was watching, but it never occurred to me that I was dreaming until the last second. The dream that went along with this episode was quite graphic, and I remember actually feeling pain. Probably because I was literally stabbing myself with my nails and grinding my teeth in the waking world. 
All I can say is that I'm quite grateful to be rid of them!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I really like this. I especially like the repetition in the second stanza..it adds force and impact. If I were to suggest a change, the word tenacity in the first stanza seems at odds with the rest of the language you've used here, and the ending of the second stanza seems choppy because of the shortness of the sentences, but it's entirely possible that was your intent. Overall, a wonderfully fresh perspective on an often over-used topic.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hm. Would "will" be a bit too simple? I like the way it sounds with grip. Maybe that's an easy way out. I'll screw my thinking cap on a bit harder. I read the poem aloud again, and I can't not notice it now; you were right about it sticking out.
The choppy sentences were definitely intentional. I wanted finality to pound its fists into my brain. However, I could add a semicolon between "these truths are restless" and "they will not sleep." I mean, maybe that wouldn't make it a bit better: they're both hard stops.
Thank you. Truly. I'm glad this didn't come across as cliché. Thank you for your support
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very good. I really like this version better. However, the other version is also fantastic. Your words are powerful and they are molded with such passion. I love it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm secretly glad this is your favorite version, because I am partial to it, too!
Not that it's anything super amazing. Just some food for late-night thoughts. Or darker thoughts.
Thank you so much for your compliments! There is nothing I'm more passionate about than poetry. Though writing it doesn't always work in my favor. It's a type of soul-baring, story-changing magic... and that's not easy stuff to mess with
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hahah, indeed. 
You are very welcome, by the way!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Beautiful, darling. Definitely one to make you think in a different direction. Love the opening.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I may or may not have been reading some traditional poetry, and it rubbed off a tiny, tiny bit.
This piece means a lot to me - a mile marker, for sure, among other things.
I want you to know that I appreciate you. Thank you for caring about these insignificant words I write.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0