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Description
My friend accidentally got me into an Ocarina of Time mood the other day and so this happened.

I also very recently had a very comforting Zelda-related revelation, although it might be hard to describe. To make a long and awful story short, I've been having an absolute bitch of a time for the past 2 years, and haven't played any new games in that time, since I am desperate to find a way to free myself from the job I'm trapped in, which has involved a lot of study (both art and translation). I do, however, get very upset and have anxiety seeing games I should play coming out (TWEWY 2, Pokemon S/V etc). I get through it by muting all the terms relating to these games, and sort of eventually just forgetting they exist.

Now, Zelda is my favorite series and it means an incredible amount to me. I feel like everyone has that series that "saved their lives", as corny as it sounds, and Zelda is mine. So at one point, although I knew I would probably dislike BotW, I forced myself to beat it anyway, because I could not allow there to be a mainline Zelda game I had not beaten. But I hate doing things I hate. lol. So there were at least two nights where making myself play through BotW made my cry (I am embarrassed to admit this, but I was also probably not in a great place mentally lol). But this taught me an incredibly valuable lesson, as stupid as it sounds. It doesn't matter if it's Zelda. I don't have to do things I don't want to do.

So I have no intention to play TotK, and I mean that completely neutrally. I have no anger about it, or anxiety, or anything. And that was the awesome revelation I had the other day. Right now I'm at the ABSOLUTE PEAK of a Very Bad Time, and if a Zelda game I cared about had dropped when TotK did, I'd be a sobbing mess, because I wouldn't allow myself to touch it until I reach safety in my life, and who the fuck knows when that will be. So actually, I realized how AMAZING and AWESOME and MERCIFUL it is that Zelda is for everyone else right now, and not me. I can continue to dig my way out of hell like I have been, without having my heart broken because I feel I'm missing out on anything.

I always had this little prayer, too, that Zelda would one day be for me again, but I also am starting to realize that my life may never calm to the point that I can play games and enjoy them the way I used to again, and so it may also be merciful if it remains something I am not interested in. If I want to play the older ones, I can. Nothing is stopping me from that. And without new ones to distract me, I can study and fix my life and (hopefully?) eventually stop hurting.

So like, I hope you're all winning with your new Zelda game, it looks like you are. ❤ Tomorrow might be a big day for me when it comes to fixing my life, and I look forward to a day when I can be happy with video games again, but until then, I can live vicariously through all your ridiculous videos and memes on twitter.

Description
My friend accidentally got me into an Ocarina of Time mood the other day and so this happened.

I also very recently had a very comforting Zelda-related revelation, although it might be hard to describe. To make a long and awful story short, I've been having an absolute bitch of a time for the past 2 years, and haven't played any new games in that time, since I am desperate to find a way to free myself from the job I'm trapped in, which has involved a lot of study (both art and translation). I do, however, get very upset and have anxiety seeing games I should play coming out (TWEWY 2, Pokemon S/V etc). I get through it by muting all the terms relating to these games, and sort of eventually just forgetting they exist.

Now, Zelda is my favorite series and it means an incredible amount to me. I feel like everyone has that series that "saved their lives", as corny as it sounds, and Zelda is mine. So at one point, although I knew I would probably dislike BotW, I forced myself to beat it anyway, because I could not allow there to be a mainline Zelda game I had not beaten. But I hate doing things I hate. lol. So there were at least two nights where making myself play through BotW made my cry (I am embarrassed to admit this, but I was also probably not in a great place mentally lol). But this taught me an incredibly valuable lesson, as stupid as it sounds. It doesn't matter if it's Zelda. I don't have to do things I don't want to do.

So I have no intention to play TotK, and I mean that completely neutrally. I have no anger about it, or anxiety, or anything. And that was the awesome revelation I had the other day. Right now I'm at the ABSOLUTE PEAK of a Very Bad Time, and if a Zelda game I cared about had dropped when TotK did, I'd be a sobbing mess, because I wouldn't allow myself to touch it until I reach safety in my life, and who the fuck knows when that will be. So actually, I realized how AMAZING and AWESOME and MERCIFUL it is that Zelda is for everyone else right now, and not me. I can continue to dig my way out of hell like I have been, without having my heart broken because I feel I'm missing out on anything.

I always had this little prayer, too, that Zelda would one day be for me again, but I also am starting to realize that my life may never calm to the point that I can play games and enjoy them the way I used to again, and so it may also be merciful if it remains something I am not interested in. If I want to play the older ones, I can. Nothing is stopping me from that. And without new ones to distract me, I can study and fix my life and (hopefully?) eventually stop hurting.

So like, I hope you're all winning with your new Zelda game, it looks like you are. ❤ Tomorrow might be a big day for me when it comes to fixing my life, and I look forward to a day when I can be happy with video games again, but until then, I can live vicariously through all your ridiculous videos and memes on twitter.