HOME | DD
NydiaZitrone — ACASA (ASL x OC) 4. Friends
Published: 2014-03-08 12:43:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 484; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }
Run then and never return, there's no home for you, Acasa.
Can I,
Can I still return to them?
Flash back
***********************************
"Look! There's something lying there!" Luffy was always the first to discover something strange. "It's a child!" Sabo recognized the creature from above the other tree.
Ace was the one on the land so he firstly reached the child.
It was a little girl around his age, covered in bruises. The newest one was around her neck. "Hey!"
No respond from the girl. Ace crouched down and tested her breath and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Is she alive?" Sabo asked.
"Yeah, but in a bad condition."
-------
"Awake?" A black-haired boy with freckles under his bright eyes popped into her sight.
"... Who ... where am I..." He helped her to sit.
"I'm Ace, that one there is called Sabo and that one is Luffy," He replied patiently, "And this is an abandoned cottage, but we rebuilt it."
"Hello! What is your name? What happened to you?" Luffy's loud voice made her daze.
"Sorry--" She was still weak to talk.
"Wait, Luffy! You're annoying." Ace scolded him.
"Would you ...food ... water… "
Sabo gave her some water and food. She ate them up at once but almost choked.
"Don't be so hurry." Sabo frowned and smiled to her.
"Em, thax ..."
-------
"Acasa ..." The girl told the boys her name.
"Asaka." The boy with a straw hat on repeated the name.
"It's not Asaka, it is Akaza." Sabo corrected.
"Never mind." Ace felt helpless about the two. "Why did you hesitate when we asked about your name? You did not lose your memory right?"
"No." Acasa lowered her head.
"Did you name yourself?" Sabo asked.
"Partly true, I named myself by chance...I"
"Acasa, what happened? You wanted to commit suicide?" Ace interrupted her.
"I was meaningless to live on, all of them hate me including my families..."
"Is that all?" Ace seemed not surprised at all.
"I don't even have a friend or someone that I can talk to!! I am all alone, always alone!!" She cried out.
"We can be friends."
No more other words.
However, she cried even harder because she was too shocked and touched.
"Yes, indeed." Sabo smiled that warm smile again.
"Are you going to become a pirate as well? If you are, join my crew!" Luffy stared at her in anticipation with a big smile.
..."Thank you ..."
****************************************
Related content
Comments: 4
to discover *anything* strange (sounds better to me)
from above another tree (without "the")
so *he was the first to reach* the child OR so he reached the child first
covered in bruises (without "a")
under *his* bright eyes
with *his* head
she was still *too* weak to talk
"Don't be so hurry" => "Don't be in such a hurry" or "Don't hurry so much"
"thax" => "thanks" but maybe you wrote it that way on purpose
repeated (without "the name", not necessary)
"Is that name you made up ?" => "Is that *a* name you made up ?" or "Is that a made-up name ?"
"I was meaningless to live on" => more "It was meaningless for me to live"
*everyone* hated me
including my *family*
"I don't *even* have a friend or someone *I* can talk to"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Epic, but maybe more description? Just my opinion, tho!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you for your advice!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0