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o-kemono — TransThought
Published: 2008-04-22 18:19:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 9521; Favourites: 133; Downloads: 155
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Dear Diary,Today was different than any other day. Being gay as you know, I took a long look at myself in the mirror, longer than usual. As I was deciding on what to wear to school today, it dawned on me that I had more of a famine body than a male structure. I am skinny and somewhat frail, much like a "girly-boy" body. I never really took notice to something like that until today.
Being a male is touch, especially the body I have . I cant seem to grow any kind of muscle or gain a six pack or even have long whiskers upon my muzzle. It seems like I will never be able to be a man "physically". All my other male friends have a more "butcher" body... and I am not talking about their erections... I seem to be out of place with my companions physically.
So, today I picked up some female clothing, hiding the fact form others that it as just buying them for my "girlfriend". At home, I tried on some clothing and took a look at my body through the mirror. I look completely different than usual and it rose my eyebrows. Form what I am telling you, you understand my curiosity about the female body. So, I am telling you that I would...no...that I am willing to change my physical being into more of a female fursona, as in changing my sex to female. No one else knows about this. You are the only one I am talking to you about this.
I seem to be more in touch with females rather than males. It is who I am. Being gay has nothing to do about it, but it does give me some view points on the female side and their way of thinking. I am not violent or macho or loud, but quieter, more feminine in my own way. Starting tomorrow, I will be going to my doctor and talk to him about my idea of physical change. It is not going to involve surgery, but hormonal pills. By doing this, I would have to start out being someone else, starting a new life. I would have to change my name, my identity and tell my friends and family. THAT will be the hardest part of this change.
I have given it much though and I agree myself to do it. I wish to be one with both sexes by doing this. I will still have the mind of a male, but the body of a female. It is who I am. It is a large choice, a life changing choice, but I agree to go along with it. I will continue to talk to you about my change and give you daily updates.
Thank you for listening. Be well.
- John.....hopefully soon to be Johanna.
TransThought © 2008 Alex Cockburn
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Comments: 38
im black, do femboys[im one] nessessarly need to have straight hair
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Wow, this reminds me so much of how it all happened to me. How I found out that I was a transsexual. Your work is amazing!
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This artwork really hit a nerve within me...
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I hope everything has turned out well for you. I understand what you have went through and i support you fully on your decision. Good luck to you. Sincerely, Husky Soulen
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I finally took the time to find your page! I can't say much about the diary entry (I was never into the stories in which the person goes down the trans path because of how they are built), but I love the background! Funny how someone can be feel comfortable about being gay, as the background indicates, but have to start over when they discover they are actually trans.
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In this message is a kind of Wisdom, which very much people are missing. You have to feel good. Not the others. And it hasnt to do anything with to be gay.
Live your life ^_^
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you get some ..funny stuff searching for army of two quotes nowadys...
i cant help but notice your dilema! (i aint gay or crossdreser.btw)
you say you cant bulk ou...please for the wine of italy, dont try to hard...like i did. never wish just to "get " a body
when i was about 10..my dad (who is army) got me into wieghts..i didnt do much other excersie, but i ate a lot. i got fat even though. but when i came back from boarding school. i was put on a diet and lost the wieght..and put on a impressive little body at the same time (im a twin so i didnt expect to get much bigger) with out puberty....but then i hit puberty...hard.
i bulked out so hard and so much so fast i looked like a wrestling champion ...at 14.! and as i continued to bulk at a radiculous level..my brother didnt gain any wieght at all(runt lol). But then when i hit 16 now...i was over musled and diagnosed with oscillious...or summat like that. My front muscles had defined themselves faster than my back an di twisted my spine..it took 6 months of psyio to heal. i am back on track now and befing up still but i have to say...just because you cant get muscle doesnt nesscesarily make you effimante..
oh and gotta say it does kinda suck just "getting a body" cause i bceame so clumsy after it it was difficult to stand
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Feel the love ^^
being trans is tough sweetie, but good luck. And above all, find support, you'll need it. Trust me.
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This is very well drawn and written. You have a real knack for emotionally charged situations and life deccisions.
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Yknow, a lot of people don't realize just how much thought goes into these things. Me? Been there. in fact the first time I crossdressed, I didn't know it. The person I was going out with was rather sneaky, and set me up, told me to wear cetain things, made me up to change the appearance of my face, hid my body shape with the clothes and basically made me look like someone of the oposite gender.
By the time I found out, I was too afraid to talk, just whisper. We went somewhere where my gender was not usually well recieved. if not outright hated. Afterwards, I had to think about the situation. I had gotten a large nummber of appreciative comments on my body, as my jeans were very tight and showed off my legs. I blush easily. and the way I squeaked was amusing. Heavy jacket that hung halfway down my thighs and the makeup hid who I was. My body shape is a bit androginous. They assumed I was her 'bitch'.
I found I did somewhat enjhoy it, but I'm not sure I will EVER crossdress again.I thought long and hard about the issue this person did, and came to my own understanding of who i was and what I wanted to do. My choice was to stay who I was. But I could have decided to change my body, to match who I should be.
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I find this image fascinating because I actually have a friend who was in this position for quite awhile. He'd always been a very feminine person, wonderful dancer and the best prom date ever. Over the past few years he started to take estrogen hormones. For him it is just like becoming who he is meant to be..or I should say She. Last year she changed her name officially to Sakura. She now lives happily with her girlfriend in Tuscon, AZ.
I suppose my point in telling you that is it's a good kind of image to create because so many people don't understand things like this. Even I was a little uncomfortable at first. But if it is what will make her happy then she has every right to do so. So...go you for writing and drawing about such a controversial subject.
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Best of luck to you my friend. Exploration is one of the best things in the world.
I just hope you know what you are doing, and that you have done lots of research of what it all entails.
Tho I don't know you personally, I give you my hope and love for when you need it. If you have any questions you want to ask about being feminine, I'm here.
(a girl of 17) ^^
Alleh
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This is not the subject but yeah I'm bi so I agree with everyone else,he's cute.But anyway if I wasn't cursed with the voice of a congested 40 yr old man(since age 12) and my sis didn't look so much like me I would like to have an effemenine body like his....
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plz don't hate urself. it'll ruin the chances of having a fabulous life. love who u r. BE who u r, not what is popular or sounds like a good idea at the time. I love myself.
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Got tossed this link because I am also a trans fur.
In reading the journal entry, I am glad she is exploring a side that may be part of her, but I do beg caution. I hope she finds a therapist who can help her though this transition, and make sure that this is 100% right for her. (I know friends who thought they were trans, but turned out they just liked wearing female clothing).
I know I may be reading too much into this, but the stuff I read just makes me worry, based on my experiences. If this is really want she wants, then she deserves all the help and hugs she can get.
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I still think you look cute...
This has sort of brought the thought of issues I'm having with myself as well as new perspective in a way.. the best way is to find someone to talk to, which is something I wish I could have more of.
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Um...I like the pic. Though, the story seems..like a jump. It seems more like he just kind of jumped to a conclusion then really discovered anything deeper about himself. Mm..just my 2 cents thar. ^_^
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Being trans and not "fitting in" with other people you're supposed to be like is unrelated. I'm a short, skinny, effeminate transguy... I looked perfectly fine as a girl, I just don't identify as one. Nor do I identify with a macho-man.
So, regarding this picture, I hardly see how one can link "not looking like ___" and "identifying as ___". This is an identity thing, though of course you have intersex individuals who may feel they do not belong somewhere because of their body type.
Lastly. "By doing this, I would have to start out being someone else, starting a new life.".
No, no. This isn't that. When you transition you don't start out being someone else. You start out being who you are, instead of playing an act, the act of being what people expect you to be.
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Woah, 
I agree with your comment about transitioning.
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(Oops sorry if that sounded a bit harsh : ) just, it's a problem to me when people start talking about trans matters when they don't fully understand what it entails; and even trans people can sometimes say innacurate things on gender topics.)
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...I dont have anything to really say except, go for it!
lol this is a really good piece, I look forward to seeing more!
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awhhhh well done it is a very strong subject of things well done ^^
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i give you the best of luck my friend ^ ^
and being a girl myself i find it good that you feel the want to explore more of the 'unknown'
please tell about your experience when you get too, i'm sure all your friends (real and on dA) will want to hear about it
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All this means that he's simply not gay, he's straight. He likes girls. He's simply effeminate. Nothing wrong with that. If he wants to 'explore' the female body, he simply has to ask a girl. Drastic changes like an operation are really not a good idea. Way too much hassle.
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Not always. The GBLT symbol is a rainbow for a reason; it's almost impossible for any person's gender/sexuality/whatever to be pigeonholed.
Though I agree that such changes should not be taken lightly, it's incorrect to say that the desire to change is wrong.
Also, if you read the comments of the pic s/he says "It is not going to involve surgery"
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Well, I didn't say it was wrong, just that, yeah, not to be taken lightly.
Oh, must've missed that. Bt then, why hormones, if he already looks like a guy?
Yeah. *shrug*
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female hormones, like estrogen or something.However my friend says that estrogen makes body parts "grow" like the breasts,but that also means his wang will grow a bit. "A bit" nothing drastic
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No, only breast tissue grows like that. They also get a bit more 'curvy', i.e. fat distributed more to the hips/butt as well.
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