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objectiveexpression — Goodbye For Good
Published: 2008-12-21 08:22:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 222; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description He's back again. I give him a perfunctory smile as he hangs up his ratty old jacket. He reeks of cigarrettes and some other woman's perfume, but I hold back the saltwater that threatens to spill over my cheeks.

"Hey there baby, I love you."

He's a liar.

"When did you get home?"

When I was supposed to. How about you, sweetheart? Is two in the morning when you said you'd be here?

He doesn't wait for an answer, just plants a tainted, sloppy kiss on my cheek, poisoned with Bloody Mary and hard liquor. I hide my anger, my fear, my tears from him and the children. For now.

"How're the kids? In bed?"

I nod. As if he really cared. But I go along with it, because this is the last time I'll ever have to put up with him. My bags are already packed, hidden in the closet by the front door. Waiting for us four to get the hell out.

"I'm turning in for the night. G'night, baby."

And good riddance.

I wait an hour in that wooden rocking chair. I don't need to, but silently, secretly I am saying goodbye. Goodbye, Roy, goodbye to our lovely house and the first year of marriage when I thought you were wonderful. Goodbye to that young man who came back out of his car on the first date just to kiss me, because...

"I think you're worth keeping."

He'd loved me for a year before. And he loved me for another three. But what I see in his clouded blue eyes now is not love. If he loved our family, he would be there for dinner. He would tell me without sideways glances that he loved me. He would kiss our children and be there when they were born.

Our oldest, Nathan, is sixteen. He's holding Lucy's hand- she's nine. And the girl carries in her other arm our youngest, baby Arden. Lucy's crying in the hallway, her older brother trying to comfort her, and Arden snores softly. This is the time I told them to be ready by. To wait. And here they are.

I call for them lightly, and they come. Thier footfalls are muted and slow. I stand and catch Nathan's shuddering shoulder. He's choking back tears, trying to be the man. Yesterday he told me...

"I'm going to be the man of the house now. And I won't be like Pa. I promise."

I make sure the three of them are out the door and into the car before I go back for our luggage. Nathan takes the wheel. I look him in his shocking, blue eyes. Icy and cold, like his father's, but filled with a kindness and love that Roy was never capable of.

"I need to go back and get something real quick. If anything goes wrong, step on it and I'll meet you in Detroit. Don't be afraid. I love you."

I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and one for Lucy, and another for Arden too. My eldest calls back to me as I slip away.

"You act as if we may never see you again. You're coming back, right?"

I glance back at him.

"Just in case, love."

When I am back in the house, I know I'm home free. The shadows are clear, and if Roy was nearby, I'd smell his alchohol-stained breath. I grab our things and bolt for the door.

"Not so fast."

My wrist is securely held in the grasp of my own husband, an irate mammoth in comparison to me. He holds himself in a drunken swagger, and those tears I've been holding back finally spill over. He must've kept his mouth shut, held his breath.

"Where are you going?"

I shout out my son's name, loud as I can, clear as a bell. The engine revvs, and Roy's head snaps to the direction of the doorway.

"Nathan?!"

He lumbers to the open doorway, dragging me behind. We arrive just in time to watch our old family car fade into the distance.

With my last breath, I laugh. They're alive, they will live long, full, happy lives without this aweful man as a father.

I just wish I watch them grow up. This is my last thought, as my head slams against solid brick wall, and I crack, spilling out onto the pavement..
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Comments: 9

fiddlesandfox [2008-12-24 18:11:02 +0000 UTC]

Hmm... This is a mixture of sorrow, anger, and at the end, what seems to be the last joy. Beautifully writen. I love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

objectiveexpression In reply to fiddlesandfox [2008-12-24 18:52:45 +0000 UTC]

x] Thanks so much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fiddlesandfox In reply to objectiveexpression [2008-12-24 18:56:01 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

objectiveexpression In reply to fiddlesandfox [2008-12-24 19:33:43 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, you totally made my day...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fiddlesandfox In reply to objectiveexpression [2008-12-25 20:23:19 +0000 UTC]

Really? You okay?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

objectiveexpression In reply to fiddlesandfox [2008-12-26 20:00:44 +0000 UTC]

Depends on what you mean by okay... :/

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fiddlesandfox In reply to objectiveexpression [2008-12-31 01:18:04 +0000 UTC]

What's up?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

firenationgal [2008-12-21 10:02:26 +0000 UTC]

That's a little..disturbing.
Disturbing, but really, really good :]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

objectiveexpression In reply to firenationgal [2008-12-21 10:44:55 +0000 UTC]

That's what I was going for, love. A touch of evil, a touch of sorrow, but a light at the end of the tunnel, ya know?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0