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oldest-boy — .
Published: 2009-01-20 12:45:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 898; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 7
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Description
we were inhalingour disguises
from the cigarette
we shared,
my hand
around your waist
a way to pull away
the layers and
blur through
my rough edges
where your soft
soul had been
snagged,
the night that every
sound we made
had seemed to matter,
these are
the dreams
that fogged
the windows
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
I didn’t stay
but you should know
that you were glowing
when I first saw you,
and I hardly
deserve credit
for the shine
it seems I've stolen,
although
I-promised-
not-to-promise
anything,
our actions
brushed and
painted promise
on their own,
to leave
a longing
like disease;
lips pressed
and sucking at
the heart,
and (no)
no one
ever says
my name
the same
as you.
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Comments: 53
this is one of my favorites. i am extremely inspired. it feels like some of those words came from my own chest.
i'm going to plaigarize it like you did Sidonia's and i'll link back to you.
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these are
the dreams
that fogged
the windows
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
i love it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
seriously, i love it.
i wish i thought of it first.
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Ah I fucking love this.
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"I didn’t stay
but you should know
that you were glowing
when I first saw you,
and I hardly
deserve credit
for the shine
it seems I've stolen,"
"our actions
brushed and
painted promise
on their own,"
These two parts are simply amazing..
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i thoroughly enjoyed sidonia's "."
and i facepalmed at your cannibalization of it.
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
oh, the things we'd say if no one could speak our fears.
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My poetry's never been so popular, but it was certainly well deserved. ^.^
Absolutely beautiful. This poem was deeply personal, and you cannibalized it wonderfully.
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thank you,
I suppose; I was
waiting for your comment
before I wiped
my mouth.
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Wiped your mouth? xD
*is confused*
But thanks for cannibalizing it.
I feel... honored?
^.^
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well yes, cannibals
are people who eat
other people,
sounds as messy
as hotwings to me.
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these are
the dreams
that fogged
the windows
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
Loved that stanza.
Brilliant emotion runs through your pieces.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're very much welcome. :]
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I didn’t stay
but you should know
that you were glowing
when I first saw you,
and I hardly
deserve credit
for the shine
it seems I've stolen,
oh pain..
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
at first i thought this
was by you
because it's definitely blatant
(that's with an a) and
it fits into your...
genre.
[but not as good as
stuff actually by you]
to be honest.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
this is
(actually by me)
it's just
pulled from more
than my own.
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.....
oops.
:/
still not as good as some of your other stuff. pull from someplace else
oops.
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food for thought.
(see;nextpiece)
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I believe I like your remix better than the original.
particularly this bit
these are
the dreams
that fogged
the windows
and we dared
not call it love
(out loud.)
xo!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh I simply adore this, it's got a gritty but stunning feeling to it.
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this is beautiful.... and struck me pretty deeply...
thank you for this.
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doodoo doo doo
da-dah dada dah dah
dadadadadoodoo.
it happened sooner than soon,
made paperplanes inyur room
and filled the sky with balloons
frumyawindow.
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i love your words.
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that's a song
called "sooner than soon"
by "architecture in hellsinki"
download it; listen to it;
tell me what you think.
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really?
(you're awesome.)
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The rhythms and flow are beautifully poignant.
The fourth stanza feels too short.
Otherwise ... luverliness.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
glad you liked it,
check out versecannibal some time,
its to what I owe this poem.
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