HOME | DD
oracle-of-nonsense — Our Dreams All Sound Like Fanfictions
Published: 2013-11-20 16:58:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 284; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
i. Marriage of ConvenienceI had a dream about you last night.
We got married for tax purposes
and you carried me into the chapel,
then we had a weird block party thing
in the parking lot of a recently abandoned supermarket.
Sounds like us. We should do it.
Which part?
All of it.
There’s really no downside, I guess.
And if you wanted to sleep with other women,
I’d just sleep with them too.
That sounds fair.
ii. Bodyswap
I had a dream about you last night.
We were in the house on the beach where I was a child,
and we woke in each other’s bodies.
What’d we do?
You went about your day as usual –
playing guitar and reading DnD manuals,
but in my body.
And I
I just
dressed you in that flannel I stole from you.
Related content
Comments: 9
I think both parts blend well together if you look at it from a shared body experience and the sleeping with other women thing. I find it interesting how one body may sleep with other women and the other body will go along with that and do the same as well as letting the first body take it over when it doesn't seem to take on another body as effectively or assuredly. Are you still following? 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I don't think they'd really mesh well together. Usually when I see numbered poems, they tell a story with little vingettes or have some sort of progression and closure. I dunno how that would work with the random nature of dreams, but if you added more it would be nice to see something tying them together. I think it'd be a bit vapid otherwise. Maybe you could make it interesting, though.
I didn't catch that the narrator was talking to someone who occasionally responded, the first time. It reads like it could just be one person talking, too, with the line breaks adding emphasis. The last line made me laugh.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The two poems? My section poems tend to just be things that are related in some way, less story-telling, I suppose. Maybe one of us will have another dream sometime soon? So you mean it's vapid as it is? Or that it would be if I connected the two poems?
It could be just one person talking. Did it ruin it to have it that way?
Haha, the stolen flannel one?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes, the two poems. I can't really think clearly now, but I meant that the moods were probably too different to get along very well. Unless you wanted something more textured. I don't know. It doesn't seem vapid right now, I think because it's short. As long as there's some common thread... I guess that goes into another philosophical, 'should there be (absolute?) meaning in poetry or can it just be?' I generally prefer something, if not a story with a beginning middle and end, then something that at least wraps up at some point and doesn't end as dreamily as it started if it doesn't change at some point through the middle. I guess I'd be less a fan of scrapbooks, and more illustrated children's books, if that makes any sense.
I don't think 'vapid' would be the word to describe it if you combined the two. Like I said, I'm not in the best state of mind to really visualise it. It would be a bit floaty and more meaningless if there were just a bunch of non-interconnected vignettes, I think. Whether it needs meaning (or maybe it's purpose) sounds like something we'd talk about in philosophy class, if I had ever went there. I actually read it as just one person, the first time I read it. I could see it either way. And yes, the flannel.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes, they kind of were, and the ways in which they're written are also completely different. So do you think this poem has a meaning, or that it's just sort of existing?
I don't like that idea, of them being floaty unconnected vignettes.
It's supposed to be too, do you think that confusion matters much? Like, should I add something in there to correct that? Because a lot of people are getting the same idea. Why did that make you laugh?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm leaning towards just existing. I don't think it makes a huge difference, either way, whether there's one person or two. If you want to change it, it was the line breaks and separation mainly, that made me read it as a sort-of conversation.
You take his flannel all the time, and then when you switch bodies you put it on him so it's still on your body. The oddity of it just made it humorous.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Okay, good. You don't? Like, it doesn't somehow change the meaning of the poem? I'll definitely keep it as two, I was just thinking of re-adding at least one each of the he says, I say lines.
I was actually putting it on his body, so that my incorporeal bits would still be wearing it, but your interpretation sounds cooler.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It didn't for me. I could see how it might take away from the dreamy aspect of it, having two people involved instead of a monologue. But then it also kinda sounds like two people laying in bed together in the morning talking about stuff.
Yeah, that's essentially what I was thinking. You just phrased it a bit more elegantly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That actually wouldn't be an awful interpretation, really.
Oh. Excellent then
👍: 0 ⏩: 0