HOME | DD

orangetot — 31
Published: 2003-12-22 19:17:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 127; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 17
Redirect to original
Description All about the countdown
Is all it ever is,
Distance of miles
Across waters
Me with fog and
Care that spoils your skin,
As you watch from shore
you with gulls and
Care that means
About the countdown
Was all is ever was,
About the distance
Is all this would ever be
Related content

[ TEXT ]


orangetot - The Opening Taste

orangetot - Daddy In Bloom

orangetot - Me and Iceh

orangetot - Phock

orangetot - AtWS 1000

orangetot - Product of Boredom

orangetot - Sofa Hogs
Comments: 19

skribbledot [2003-12-23 13:13:05 +0000 UTC]

It's like a musical rondo... it seems to finish where it started which I think gives it a lovely rhythmical pace. I've not been able to write such a short piece which is as poignant and succint as this.

I cannot profess to knowing completely the idea behind the poem. I know the repetition and use of the word 'countdown' leaves me feeling like I need to get to the end of the poem for a conclusion lol. I get the impression that one is so close to this other person yet far at the same time - what a paradox!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to skribbledot [2003-12-23 13:16:17 +0000 UTC]

Once again, you got me. the idea that distance never leaves you no matter how close you are is a big theme. you could write like this is you wanted to. you could do most things if you wanted to.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

skribbledot In reply to orangetot [2003-12-23 13:19:12 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the optimism there. Do you come in pocket-sized versions for all my travelling inspirational needs?! I have to say I think one has to have an innate ability to something, I can't believe that all skills can be acquired.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to skribbledot [2003-12-23 14:17:24 +0000 UTC]

no, you're right, and lucky little you was born with an exceptional gift. unfortunately, i dont think you really know it yet. i hope i'm around when you let it all out to play.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

citizenerazed [2003-12-22 22:05:56 +0000 UTC]

Another heartfelt, honest poem. I wish I could write with your honesty, sometimes. The way I feel gets caught up in what I'm trying to say, all too often.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to citizenerazed [2003-12-22 22:53:35 +0000 UTC]

You want tips? get very sad, sometimes very drunk and, with recognisation of consequence and fear, say whatever you want to say. honest poetry does not always come from people who are free of spirit and words.


But its is sometimes pretty

Thanks for the comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

citizenerazed In reply to orangetot [2003-12-22 23:04:52 +0000 UTC]

True, most of my best stuff is written when I'm not in the happiest of moods. I should probably write some stuff tonight, but i've got writer's block again.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to citizenerazed [2003-12-22 23:27:18 +0000 UTC]

i hate writers block. i hate it because its easy to fall into and the only cure is sadness. its the only burden to our gift, an unfortunately its a large one. you are too good to go without writing for long...therefore there is a tragedy in your talent.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

citizenerazed In reply to orangetot [2003-12-22 23:40:25 +0000 UTC]

I tend to be blocked up for writing most of the time - then it all comes flowing out of me at once.

I don't think I'm any good at all, but then I'd have to say that, wouldn't I?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to citizenerazed [2003-12-23 08:45:50 +0000 UTC]

no good poet honestly believes they are as good as they are. your words are so close to your heart and maybe related to something negative within you that your view of their greatness is dulled. which is a shame coz you rock

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

citizenerazed In reply to orangetot [2003-12-23 13:11:02 +0000 UTC]

I should get a machine that turns praise into money, then keep it near you, shouldn't I?

I find it hard to get a handle on my own writing - I have to listen to what others say. However, you all keep saying my stuff is good, maybe I should start listening...

So fankoo

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to citizenerazed [2003-12-23 14:14:59 +0000 UTC]

you should listen - i'm always right

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

citizenerazed In reply to orangetot [2003-12-23 16:12:54 +0000 UTC]

No comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

onewithnoname [2003-12-22 21:11:45 +0000 UTC]

i sent you a note, but felt you deserved a viewable comment as well
this poem is unlike the others you have written.. i feel honored to recieve your attention such as you have given me.. you've given me a gift that i truly value, more then i'll ever tell you, because words would not be enough.. only the eyes can divulge the true feelings with the intensity they are borne with.. thank you for this..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to onewithnoname [2003-12-22 22:58:44 +0000 UTC]

Utterly more than welcome. Thankyou for allowing me to use the inspiration you gave me. i hope you dont take offence that the title is personal to me...its a small matter that related lightly to this.
Thankyou so much for your note and comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ost2life [2003-12-22 21:08:30 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you're being more consistent with the imagry, it really shows.
the cyclic style seems to be working for you which is cool, maybe you should try experimenting with rythm abit.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to ost2life [2003-12-22 22:56:11 +0000 UTC]

there isn't a rhythmic bone in my body sweetness. But i'll try, just for you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

diddioz [2003-12-22 20:27:35 +0000 UTC]

original style that u used for this piece. the way u use repetition is very interesting. great work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to diddioz [2003-12-22 22:55:01 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou
This is different for me simply because i was solidly writing for anothers sorrow, working from hypothetical emotion. i hope it sounds ok

👍: 0 ⏩: 0