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Published: 2003-11-22 14:57:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 145; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 20
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Description
This has left a fading stainOn my sleeve
Where only my polite lies
Have ever been.
How did you get rid of yours
So neatly?
Yet that day I found a deep mark
Across my body
Where only my dishonest truths
Had ever been.
How did you get rid of yours
So quickly?
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Comments: 10
pachunka [2003-11-25 11:12:46 +0000 UTC]
Cool. I like it lots 'cause it reminds me of what I was getting at in my earthly goodness poem- though that mightn't be apparant. I love that your poems are built on fundamental philosophies rather than mad high level yokes- it makes 'em so simple and deep.
Tired as I am, that still should have made some sense. Send pie if it doesn't.
Piiiiiiiiiiiie.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
orangetot In reply to pachunka [2003-11-25 11:27:25 +0000 UTC]
philosophies? no. little stupid girl who messed up and is caught in the great circle of whoopsies? yes. But still, if its makes for passable poetry, then yay me. I didnt realise our poetic paths crossed with Earthly Goodess, but great minds think alike and all that, right?
this isnt a favourite of mine, but i think it does the job. Then, i dont really like Starring Role and thats my first published piece. maybe i should celebrate my crap stuff more often
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
splitpersonality180 [2003-11-25 00:51:37 +0000 UTC]
Whoa....I read your piece "Tasteless Closure" and liked it, but this one hit me even more. I don't exactly know why, but I love it...and that's how poetry should be.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
orangetot In reply to splitpersonality180 [2003-11-25 09:17:18 +0000 UTC]
Aww, thankyou. I was unsure about this when i first wrote it - it has meaning for me, but i thought it might lack the kick it needs. but so far i've only had positive comments, so it cant be too bad.
Thanks for the time and comment
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diddioz [2003-11-25 00:48:18 +0000 UTC]
i really like the idea and concept behind this, but for some reason i think you could have done better on this. not your best work, although i really appreciate it. i really love the idea for his, nice job.
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orangetot In reply to diddioz [2003-11-25 09:21:42 +0000 UTC]
To me, its poignant. i tried to add things (for example, the seond stanza didnt appear at first) most for the most part, everything i added sounded false and forced. i know its not my best piece, but i'm friendly with it. its good that you tell me when you dont think its very good, i like honesty and it means i can reconcider. thanks
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
searchingforsomethin [2003-11-24 02:45:19 +0000 UTC]
i read it over again and it keeps getting better everytime i read it... so impressive.!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
orangetot In reply to searchingforsomethin [2003-11-24 07:35:25 +0000 UTC]
wow- really? this piece means a lot to me, but i didnt think it would be worth toffee for anyone else. it was written in about three minutes, maybe less, at work - not really the platform for great works, huh?
Thanks for the fav - makes me smile
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