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orangetot β€” Bad Grammar
Published: 2003-08-29 11:02:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 128; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 12
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Description A dictionary of choice
And your throat still can’t pass up the right words.
This is not something rolling hills and mountains
Along with a beautiful choir will fix.
This is not something flowers and chocolate
Plus a cheap promise will mend.
And this is not something that your begging
Will take anything away from.

A dictionary of choice
And all you can come up with is an apology.
All you can stutter is a sob
All you can give me is that you don’t know.

Well, I do.
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Comments: 12

Grammar-Nazi-Club [2006-01-30 23:42:30 +0000 UTC]

So many poems about grammar...I'm am shocked, and yet quite pleased!
it is a deadly weapon, indeed.

Very nice work.

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diddioz [2003-09-23 02:59:16 +0000 UTC]

very nice flow! i like this one.

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orangetot In reply to diddioz [2003-09-23 07:52:34 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, i'm not too sure on this one, a lot of people critised it and i see where thy are coming from...
But i'm glad you think its worth the paper its written on

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kingping [2003-09-03 18:04:42 +0000 UTC]

Nice poem. It gets to the point confidently, in excellent contrast to the person it's written to.

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orangetot In reply to kingping [2003-09-04 07:43:17 +0000 UTC]

thankyou very much

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polyhymnia [2003-08-30 15:06:55 +0000 UTC]

Heee, I really like the ideas you've put into this poem - it's a very interesting piece. Y'know, it could be interesting to hear the other side of this poem - what it's like to have a whole world of words at your disposal, and unable to find the [i]right[/i] ones.

A couple of comments - should 'hill', 'flower' and 'chocolate' be plural? I wasn't sure if you'd intended it that way or not, sorry!

I love the totality of this poem, though, and the good strong ending

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orangetot In reply to polyhymnia [2003-08-30 15:11:17 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, sorry about all the typos :S
I was thinking of writing the flip side of this actually, so you read my mind
I'm glad you liked this, a lot of people are firmly in disagreement with it, it doesnt seem to follow my normal patterns.
Thanks

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skribbledot [2003-08-29 17:25:16 +0000 UTC]

Yeah likewise. Maybe I'm not supposed to, but I empathise with the person with a dictionary at their disposal but still not being able to find the words. Perhaps one of your less cryptic poems but absolutely gorgeous metaphorically with the dictionary and all. This poem really reminds me of Tracy Chapman's 'Baby Can I Hold You Tonight' - a lot of similar undertones... Splendiferous piece o' work here

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orangetot In reply to skribbledot [2003-08-30 09:29:40 +0000 UTC]

*downloads the song*

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diddioz [2003-08-29 14:38:32 +0000 UTC]

this is very blunt, quick to the point, and obvious... but the obvious thing works great here. the last ending is great, and just love the concept with the dictionary! good job on this

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orangetot In reply to diddioz [2003-08-30 09:31:17 +0000 UTC]

Thanks very much, positive feedback always give me warm fuzzy feelings
Creative criticism (sp?) is always welcome too of course.

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bluecube [2003-08-29 11:37:42 +0000 UTC]

I like it, easier to get whats going on than the rest of yours. Quite like the ending, sharp and to the point.

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