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orangetot — Before Now
Published: 2004-04-21 23:11:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 202; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 14
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Description Under that sweet, lazy smell in our hair, I wonder things that I often do when you ask. Because of your tired eyes, I thought you wouldn’t mind if I didn’t answer. It was still raining. Thin glass and rotting wood let us listen. We were going to walk earlier – along the sea and then sit to watch it. It was spring yesterday, but I think I prefer it here.
In a lowered voice, you told me about your plans for tomorrow while I rested and kissed your hand. My lamp does look like a TV prop, I agree. An ambulance, I guess, flew past silently outside. If you lay still, you can feel trucks and road sweepers make the floors uncertain.
Below that calm patience, you explained everything. I explained that my clothes were scattered on the floor for tonight, even though I have more room than possession for the first time in my life. You kissed my head and told me to write it all down.
You told me you would be right back, and you were.
You tell me that it’s late, now, after all. That you need to sleep, after all.
You tell me exactly what I was thinking. As if your half closed eyes saw straight to it.
Despite my teachings from the media, experience, advice in class and warnings in unsuitable dinner talk, I knew I couldn’t be anything else.
I just willingly, lovingly, became captive.
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Comments: 8

fragilemuse-org [2004-04-23 15:20:36 +0000 UTC]

your writing skills are amazing. love the descriptions you use

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orangetot In reply to fragilemuse-org [2004-04-23 16:23:56 +0000 UTC]

Very kind of you

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undulate [2004-04-22 19:33:43 +0000 UTC]

"It was spring yesterday, but I think I prefer it here. "= awesome.

"Despite my teachings from the media, experience, advice in class and warnings in unsuitable dinner talk..." i don't think "advice in class" or "experience" really work with this. everything you're saying in the piece is light and glazes the point. these words are a little direct and disrupt the mood.

overall, you've done an amazing job on this. i really love it.

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voodoochild [2004-04-22 09:59:16 +0000 UTC]

Aww

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orangetot In reply to voodoochild [2004-04-22 11:33:07 +0000 UTC]

hehe

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voodoochild In reply to orangetot [2004-04-22 12:55:54 +0000 UTC]

Ah, don't be shy. It's nice to see my friends happy!

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blackice [2004-04-22 00:03:59 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to blackice [2004-04-22 00:17:11 +0000 UTC]

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