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orangetot — Intent
Published: 2003-11-30 19:41:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 99; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 10
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Description
Ever the wayIn beautiful time
Of slow distance
The arrows fly
Misplaced into me,
Stood for time
To stand here too
Dressed with white rose
Wilting with care
Misplaced into me,
All the same
It will ever be
Arrows misplaced into me.
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Comments: 10
i can never give good comments cause i don't know anythign about poetry. But i like everything that you write including this!
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I don't know anything about poetry either, but it never stops me
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I like it. I'm not sure it's 'unsatisfying', but maybe OST was getting at the fact that maybe it could be 'more'. A sequel, perhaps?
Sequels to poems? Now that's an interesting idea...
(I like it, anyway, before I make this comment entirely useless).
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never useless, always makes me smile
Paul meant the first version was unsatisying - you still think this version is? how so? tell me, coz i need to fix it if i can
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It's not unsatisfying, it's a good write, I just get the feeling there *could* be more.
Maybe you could do a lord of the rings style extended edition? whereby you extend it, not write it in Middle English. 'Cause that'd just be *stupid*.
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Yeah, i could try, i do know what you mean about the feeling of something being not quite present...
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*sobs*
I'm bad at pleasing people - i understand and accpet that. out of interest, what do you think i should be saying?
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