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orangetot — Steal
Published: 2003-10-23 22:31:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 117; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 12
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Description Hide my sight
Let me feel how you look

Tie my hands
Let me taste how you feel

Cover my lips
Let me listen to what you know

Take my thought
Let me see what you need

Steal my time
My reason
And me.
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Comments: 17

ChibiBubblegum [2003-12-02 19:36:58 +0000 UTC]

ah, surrender
your simple words and phrases express so much!
its almost as if they race in the same way such actions actually do

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to ChibiBubblegum [2003-12-02 21:46:49 +0000 UTC]

This one it the only one based on pure sense - no hurt of pain to cloud joy and ectasy. this is a rare 'happy' moment for me that i had to keep a part of in words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iggie300 [2003-11-25 15:32:03 +0000 UTC]

such power in few words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to iggie300 [2003-11-25 16:01:30 +0000 UTC]

wow - thanks. means a lot, you know? knowing that you see what i mean in a couple of lines...
Thanks for taking the time to read my stuff

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iggie300 In reply to orangetot [2003-11-25 23:18:28 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I know ... You are a talented writer

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pachunka [2003-10-30 19:58:57 +0000 UTC]

Yum!

To elaborate; ()

Sometimes I find poems, especially short ones, just get something down perfectly.. there's nothing you'd change about it- you could technically add or remove some parts, but the parts that are there complement each other groovily well and balance the hell out of the thing.

'tis difficult to explain- but I have this thing in my head where you can take a style and a subject and sometimes the two are just put together reeeeeally perfectly and.. fuck it..

I love this.. loads.

Ignore that half rant of a thing. I enjoyed reading this a whole lot. G'yarr!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to pachunka [2003-10-30 20:25:25 +0000 UTC]

aww thankyou muchly.
I wrote it listening to Aqualung - something that encourages feeling of warm fuzziness - nice that translated to you. hehe
Thanks for reading

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

polyhymnia [2003-10-27 10:34:59 +0000 UTC]

I love the way you've worked the senses in and the point you make with it. The last 3 lines work really well to finish it off.

All in all it feels complete - it's also very sensual, and it all weaves together perfectly. I really like this one

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to polyhymnia [2003-10-27 14:34:58 +0000 UTC]

Complete! yay! something i've written feels warm and complete. thats a first. maybe it should be my new thing i guess its because this is much more content than the others. i'm glad you thought the last lines are ok, i thought they broke the rhythm up too much.
Thanks for commenting

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

diddioz [2003-10-24 19:24:15 +0000 UTC]

love the simplicity of this one. great job

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to diddioz [2003-10-25 09:14:02 +0000 UTC]

aww, thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

badblokebob [2003-10-24 01:56:23 +0000 UTC]

I get what you're saying about it not being happy per se I like it -- it's a nice theme taken and used consistently well throughout. Also means I can be a little naughty and use it to whore my poem about senses [link] <-- there it is

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to badblokebob [2003-10-24 06:40:30 +0000 UTC]

hehe. nice whoring. I'm glad you like it - i thought maybe the loss of my knife twist and kick in the balls ending would repel you all. There was an unhappier ending - i chose to scrap it.
Thanks for reading

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

onewithnoname [2003-10-24 01:05:51 +0000 UTC]

beautiful... only by taking away the intruments that create do we enhance the senses that receive.. it is when we fully give ourselves that we can fully be open to another.. simply beautiful

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to onewithnoname [2003-10-24 06:43:14 +0000 UTC]

How sweet of you. I'm glad you picked out the theme so to speak - that everything here is underrated until you appreciate it with every sense. In fact, reading it, i think you explain it better than me
Thankyou so much for your time and comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

bluecube [2003-10-23 22:51:02 +0000 UTC]

I've always said you should do some happy stuff. Now I know you can

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangetot In reply to bluecube [2003-10-23 23:00:49 +0000 UTC]

Only vaguely happy. More sensual contentment than general elation. nonetheless, i hope you like it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0