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originalkitten — Why?
Published: 2006-01-04 02:57:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 845; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 140
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Description
To go with [link]Kinda fed up and released feelings in this.
Thanks for looking and any comments
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Comments: 55
This is gorgeously dark and heavy, a very disturbing piece (in the best possible way!)
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Oh man. Very powerful, very fitting to use blood as you discuss mother's and your own motherhood in that poem. This is painful and beautiufl. The skin textures and the hand are wonderfully detailed. Man. I'm sorry about things for you.
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ty hun and thanks for the fav
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Wow 
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It helped me so much. She phoned me today.....5x in 10minutes moaning over the garbage men...not once did she ask how I was and I've got what she was hospitatlised for last week. Some acky flu bugs that going around....and her grandson is sick too and not one question about him....and I put the phone down and got on with what I was doing without a thought or care about it. So I think I helped myself doing that....I wish I could help you as I know exactly how you feel. It's horrible and not one you can usually shrug off like you could a mean friend or even a sister. I hope you feel better soon huney and big major hugs...and ty for the fav too
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She's being nice to me now. I'm trying to not at all dwell on any of it or let any of it get to me. I've gotta get my groove back. Inside I feel ripped and raped to shreds, so hard to refocus, must not think about what's been taken, what's been lost. Must only concentrate on getting it back. But fuck, where do I begin....
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She sounds exactly like my mother. She's nice to me...and then nextminute Im walkin on eggshells. She is the type of person you put a foot out of line and the whole family knows. She would make an awesome journalist. And you have to do everything she says or woe betide you. And she thinks shes god too. Never puts a foot wrong and if you complain shes like oh Im so so sick. (She has lupus) Its so hard finding a place to begin.....every xmas and bday Im the same..get upset and pick myself up....I try so hard every year....bdays are actually easier....coz its just me...xmas the boys are involved so it hits me more....the thing that works for me is to think about all the good things about me....think about the things that people like me for....and think well I cant be that bad I have friends all over the world....and that makes me realise its her thats wrong not me .......xoxoxox
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Do we have the same mother? lol You described my mother to a perfect T. That attitude, and my mother has many complicated serious health problems as well. And because of it, at times she acts like she's the only one who's ability to walk has been taken away (whether that is permanent or temporary remains to painfully be seen) and because of that, the world owes her everything possible, I am a pawn, I am her slave. I should do all this and everything for her just because I can walk and she can't.
Walking on eggshells, I can't take anymore. Leave for work, all is happy and cool and I think wow, maybe things really are changing and getting better after all this time, I'll come home, we'll have a nice dinner and time together. To actually come home to be told I'm abusing her, world crashes down around me, I hibernate in my room wondering what on earth I did wrong. Think about it all, I'm such this terrible person, the guilt, all of it.
Sorry, don't mean to clog you up with all this. Just feels soooooo good that there is another person who knows where I'm coming from, that understands these feelings because they have actually really experienced it.
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Hey your not clogging me up at all......as I said the other day it is so relieving to know ur not alone.
My mum sounds exactly the same. And my sister can do no wrong. She goes on for years how my sister pushed her in a wheelchair and cared for her. She forgets I did it up till I was teenager and one day I just refused. Long story but she humiliated me on vacation in Spain so I stormed off and refused to ever push her again. I bit back and she didnt like that. She actually turned on my sis one day. I said to my mother instead of hitting my sis hit me.....Im used to it....she promptly "ran away" and took an overdose...but phoned the world and his wife to tell them what she had done. So it was for attention. ANd my gran said she only did it cause the one person who kisses her ass was stuck up for by me and she couldnt handle it.
She is horrible through and through. Most of her "friends" know whats shes like. Even my mums friend, who lived opposite us for years, is now my friend and knows her through and through. I landed up actually moving out of my home at 16,.....went to live with Val. Val owned an OAP home and what she did was let me do the "sleep & watch" Basically I just slept and if needed they woke me up. I would go to college and then go bck there. I got paid £4.00 a night. SO I had pocket money. I will never forget her kindness. At 18 I finally got my own flat. And I met Keith at 19 who has shown me more love in 12.5 years than i have ever gotten in my lifetime off her......My gran knows what she is like...and I love my gran to bits....but my gran is so two faced......will say whatever to whomever to keep the peace....tells you what you wanna hear...which ddrives me even more potty!!!!! My mum is a very clever manipulater too....
I have no idea why they act like this towards us.....I hope to god my kids arent saying this to a friend of theirs in 10 years time. I try my best to be not so like her...and they know that too. They are my life now and I cant see that changing no matter how many years pass. I just cant understand why I am not her life as my sister is....
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I don't think you have to worry about your children saying anything about you like that. When you go thru this kind of thing, you do everything in your power to be the opposite of what your mother was, and I am certain you're absolutely wonderful with your children.
My mother wasn't always like this. As the health problems kept mounting and the solutions and answers became impossible to find, her attitude changed. At 18 I had had it, I left. Wound up married to someone I thought truly loved me and maybe he did, but he had a pretty fucked up way of showing it. A man who couldn't even love or care for himself either. Not a good situation, so I left and moved back home with mom hoping that what we once had would be there for me again. At times it is, at times it isn't. Yet I always cling to the dream...Then when she does something to show me my head really is in the clouds...emotional pain is just the worst.
I can't walk away again just yet. Something is holding me here, I feel it inside me. Maybe the impossible dream, maybe something I can't put my finger on. Maybe I'm just not ready to make that leap away again yet.
Things have been good recently. But sadly I sit here and ask myself, how long will it last this time. I have to break this cycle. I hate saying I'm not ready yet.
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I hear ya hun. It's like I can't not go a week without talking to my mother. I dont know why but I have to phone her. Guess it's some daughterly responsibility thing. But I know I need to make that break....but there is always...what if?
Think we both should have a BIG 
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Yes, big big
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np huney.....I'm on yahoo too if u want that one lol....big
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Sure! My yahoo name's same as my dA name.
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awesome hun.......mines originalkitten2002
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OMG pink girly things ??? Now that is scary.... I am afraid of pink...when i was a kid...a pink pony wanted to eat me... I will never forget this... it was... soooo traumatizing... LOL
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lmao....I bet that was scary!!!.....I never liked pink until a few years ago...now everything has to be pink (except my art lmao...) I even own 3 pairs of trainers/sneakers and they are all the same design....just diff shades of pink lmao....
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oh...this is disturbing...but I like it...you know me... I like disturbed art...why ? I have no idea...I am not a disturbed person...nooooo.... 
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lol ty....I love dark disturbing art too....but I also love pink girly things....now thats disturbing lol
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wow. very dark, gothic and a feeling of great pain. Well done.
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Powerful imagery Lou and words to accompany the artwork. THe scene depicts frustration, anger and sadness very deeply. Very well done!
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i like this picture alot, the lighting is fantastic, well done
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very well done.. I always release emotions in my art... it does help too
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ty huney oxox yeah it does...I couldnt sleep so got back up around 1am to do it lol
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really is a great job !!
i liked the colors !! they combine with the expression of sadness and madness !!
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