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Orr8571 — Yes it Fracking Should.

Published: 2011-11-26 15:55:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 237; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description Any Ciaphas Cain fans will get this particular joke, i feel...

Seen in an edition of New Scientist magazine. Apologies if it is turned sideways or upside down for no reason.
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Comments: 18

Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-26 09:47:21 +0000 UTC]

Simia Orichalchae all over again.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-27 01:01:00 +0000 UTC]

Dammit, that's a good reference, can't believe I missed that...

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-08-27 04:37:53 +0000 UTC]



Well, at least we have a solution to any future Ork or Necron problems - just blow the planet up. We don't need all that fuel.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-27 16:53:49 +0000 UTC]

Sounds great! Now who wants to propose it to the UN?

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-08-28 06:24:23 +0000 UTC]

Could get the nearest Cain cosplayer to do it.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-29 16:55:16 +0000 UTC]

Good idea. Now to find one, we just need to follow the sounds of gunfire and incoherent little-girl-scream battle cries, right?

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-08-29 21:58:57 +0000 UTC]

Pretty much. Or we can look for Jurgen, and he can point us out to a suitable Cain.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-30 13:28:34 +0000 UTC]

But where will we find a suitable Jurgen? (now there's a contradiction in terms)

I vote this guy - www.youtube.com/watch?feature=… (btw the driver played Kryten in red dwarf) Or failing that this one - www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQyR0H…

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-08-30 23:14:51 +0000 UTC]

Both would be suitable - just dirty them up, get some equipment webbing, a greatcoat and a hat, and we should be right.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-08-31 23:23:57 +0000 UTC]

sounds good!

If we dig yet further into the British comedy circuit though, what about this one - www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGLhVr… as Amberley Veil and this elegant gentlemen - www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vUfBO… as the Hero fo the Imperium himself? (and staying on the cast of Spaced, what about Mark Heap - www.youtube.com/watch?feature=… as Veil's savant Mott?

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-09-01 04:10:22 +0000 UTC]

If we can convince her to dye her hair blonde, we might have a winner for Vail, if not for Rakel. And funny thing about Simon Pegg - I had envisioned him as Cain after seeing him on Shaun of the Dead and The World's End. As for Mark Heap, I'd say he'd fall more in line for Divas or Lustig. Maybe Broklaw if no other replacement was found. For Mott, I'd have thought more along the lines of a younger Christopher Lee, Ian McKellen or Ben Kingsley

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-09-04 21:33:57 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, Pegg has an ability with expressions normally seen in Hugh Laurie or Rowan Atkinson, and his 'common suburban loser' act would mesh well with Cain when out of the limelight.

I recommended Perkins for her typical personality - A lot of her radio appearances (God bless radio 4!) have demonstrated her ability to naturally apply a quite acidic tone, which would work great for voiceover narration (in the style of Veil's footnotes), but at the same time she can do some great lighter stuff too - www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCjTFV…

Kingsley for Mott, i'd say. He has the right amount of authoritative age in his voice, while also a slightly nasal element that'd fit a practising Inquisitorial savant.

Speaking of which, who would you think would work best for Brocklaw? First impulse was to offer Patrick Stewart (classically trained alongside Ian McKellen, definitely authoritative in voice and experienced in looks, but doesn't look so old as to make people ask 'why isn't he retired?' on the first scene), but then again he still kind of resents the last two times he washanded a big sci fi action role as the official leader and ended up horrifically typecast, also everybody would be watching Patrick Stewart and not Raput Brocklaw...

I'm tempted to say someone along the lines of Amanda Redman for Kasteen, since she's supposed to have seniority on Brocklaw and they are both regimental officers before Cain even turns up. However not sure if she's the best choice... your thoughts?

Btw, Scarlett Johansson has done three decent sci fi films in the last 12 months alone.. Magot perhaps? Or should she take Kasteen (though she might be a bit young)?

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-09-05 05:59:54 +0000 UTC]

Definitely.

I pictured the movie without the footnotes, or at least have them addressed in-dialogue of the movies. But to each their own. Overall, yes, I'd say that there's a winner here.

After his portrayal in Iron Man 3, I'd definitely say that he's got that right mix to be somewhat annoying but interesting at the same time.

Definitely not Stewart. He's good, but he'd still be too old for Brocklaw. If the movie were done as an animation, the best VA I can think of would be Steve Blum (pick up any violent game to date, chances are that Blum had a hand in it), Sam Pertwee (Radec/Hakha from Killzone, Sgt. Proteus from Ultramarines) or John DiMaggio (known for Marcus Fenix and Bender Bending Rodriguez). As for live-action.... I'm sort of leaning towards Sam Worthington after seeing him in Avatar (can't speak for the rest of the movie - wasn't paying attention) and Terminator 4 (Worthington's acting does stand out when Bale was expected to steal the show). Otherwise, I can't see a good Brocklaw.

Johansson for Regina!

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-09-09 20:56:59 +0000 UTC]

On the footnotes, we have two options - either drop them in favour of concentrating on the action, or include them as part of a narrative framing device. In terms of the latter, Veil's own comments can be used to support the main events, give additional factoids on each major character and help arrange some of the jokes.

Sam Worthington it is then?

Which gives us Kasteen and Brocklaw too. Now what about the future Lady General Sulla? I'm immediately thinking of Joanna Lumley circa The New Avengers ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I… (that's not the Marvel franchise Avengers btw).

If it's For The Emperor that's being dramatised (which makes sense), there's also the Penal Colony exports who accompany Cain and Veil into the tunnels. That'd be a great place to put competent but relatively minor actors whose names I'm by no means familiar with. Also, it appears Daniel Radcliffe is doing lots of interesting acting roles, maybe he'd be willing to handle a cameo as the medic from among the death-row Valhallans?

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-09-10 05:17:06 +0000 UTC]

Probably the stuff that just adds flavour could be dropped, unless it happened specifically at that time to give clarity, I think.

If nothing else he does have the cockney accent to fit the universe, has the build for it, and would be a solid pick if Johansson were Kasteen. Bonus points since Kasteen has the seniority over Broklaw by a mere 30 minutes and is described as appearing younger.

Sort of here, sort of there. I was thinking of Emily Blunt or Sarah Michelle Gellar, but Sulla is going to be difficult to find. There's the matter of the ludicrous fervour for one, and the upbeat attitude that'd have to visibly stifle someone like Pegg.

Failing Holenbi, there's the ambassador, Donelli. Radcliffe fits the general description, and there's that element of passive speech and creative wit that both are known to possess. But if Radcliffe gets Donelli, we might as well call up Rupert Grint to do Holenbi. The scene in Half-Blood Prince where he's hopped up on love-potion draws a lot of similarities to Holenbi's character. And I know this has been done to death but Dwayne Johnson fits Kelp to a tee (if not David Bautista, after his roles in Riddick and Guardians, and I figured Ellen Page could do Velade. And Trebeck could easily be Milla Jovovich. Can't speak for her overall acting, but she's got the action-girl persona pretty much nailed and is (physically) a nice foil to either of the former wrestlers (if either took the role of Kelp). But the really big question with the death-squad is who's going to do Sorel? I make no apologies in saying that he stole the scene quite a few times.

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Orr8571 In reply to Schwarzer-Carnifex [2014-09-21 17:20:05 +0000 UTC]

True. Unless we have a burning desire to involve gloriously bad documentary clips from Sulla's memoirs of course

Be very careful with Rupert Grint alongside Daniel Radcliffe, though. Unless our hypothetical casting director is a very vocal Potter fanboy/fangirl, of course...

No idea about Sorel I'm afraid. Let me dig a bit...

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Schwarzer-Carnifex In reply to Orr8571 [2014-09-22 00:41:32 +0000 UTC]

Though I kind of agree with Cain in that Sulla is a pest. A combat-effective pest, but still a pest. But I can't speak for the rest of the fanbase so it'd be interesting to see which way they swing.

Of course. But I really can't think of anyone else who would fit Holenbi. Other suggestions?

Christian Bale? He did an alrightish Batman in The Dark Knight series. If we added a level of sociopath, there's an effective Sorel.

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FroshiAnaki [2011-12-29 08:04:29 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha Yes! just Yes~!

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