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ParalyticProcess — Insect Intuition
#freeverse #poetry #napowrimo2015 #paralyticprocess #insectintuition
Published: 2015-04-08 23:01:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 563; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 0
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Description
I’m tired of being brave.You collect the words I lay at your feet with glass jars
throwing them into the trash
because you like the sound of broken conversation
especially when it involves me.
I’m tired of being the hero in our story
the one breaking apart the jaws of lions with cold hands
the one hacking relentlessly through your mind
like a jungle whose only destiny lies in a paper mill.
Perhaps the cat’s got your tongue
the dog’s got my ankle
we’re wrapped around the same metal pole
and there’s a thunderstorm coming.
Or perhaps I am mistaken, and deserving of disappointment
as the ants go marching ten by ten on my pillow, whispering
I told you he was weak.
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Comments: 17
Oh thank you
I was honestly shocked how popular this piece has been!
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I loved it, especially how you ended the poem...
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Beginnings and endings are really important to my work, so I'm glad I'm getting it right!
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I find the ending to be crucial in the delivery of a poem. It can make or break the rest of it...
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Get well soon! I hope no ants go marching on your pillow tonight 
The lines about hacking through a mind like a jungle whose only destiny lies in a paper mill is very interesting to me.
When I read it I think of a mind that is so incredibly full and fruitful, but that it's destiny is that it destroyed and not be put to good use.
Very sad.
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I'm trying to get better. If I'm not better by tomorrow Im going to the doctor.
Those lines seem popular in this piece! I try to use phrases and images that are not cliche, so I'm glad that image has had such an impact on readers!
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hacking relentlessly through the mind.
did you ever explore the image further? safari among the brain cells?
and, I'm sorry you are sick. should I sacrifice a pencil? a notebook? would these help?
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Not that exact line, but the poems from The Weather Near the Atlantic Collection have a lot of similar themes.
And chocolate. Chocolate would be nice.
And sleep! Yes.
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chocolate then. tomorrow I'll write it and post it.
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ooh i had to comment on the stanza with "broken conversation" before i even finished the poem because that was a genius phrase. i love it <3
aww i hope u feel better soon <33 even if you couldn't concentrate, I loved this piece <3 and wow u were great at writing from the beginning huh? XD get some rest and stay well!
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I have been writing for 18 years creatively, but everyday is a chance to get better! My style in terms of tone and mood has never really changed (I just naturally write kind of dark), but I've grown a lot. It's crazy to think I wrote this 6 years ago!
I'm considering posting old poems for "Throwback Thursday" to show my development and to encourage young writers. I will probably make a journal entry and see what people think.
And thank you! I've been sick all week and I hate not being able to sleep well.
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omg and now im calculating ur age in my head //jk
and ahh, I see. i hope my poems have improved over the past 11 years
behold, the poems of 10 year old smexy:
I think I've stayed around the same level of angst. LOLOLOL
I would love to see throwback thursday poems!!
//aww well i hope u feel better by now and that these poems can give u a good laugh XD
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I'm 25.
I have a few poems from when I was 5, but I didn't consistently start eriting until I was 7, so that's where I start counting.
And for 10, I think they are very good! I don't think they are dumb at all. For Throwback Thursday I will post poems from that age and up, so you can see. We all have to start somewhere!
Thank you for sharing with me! You are making great progress!
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