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ParanoidAndroid22 — Silly Backwards Movement
Published: 2005-02-21 03:39:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 211; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 8
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Description
He was a sort of silly boyAlways driving backwards
Looking through the rear view mirror
Seeing the things he barely missed
With his 2 ton imagination
Sometimes he even walked backwards
The half-tripping stumble of reverse movement
Toes never touching the ground
Not to miss anything after it was already gone
Then, some years later, came the bump in the right direction
He backed into reality
Abnormal forward movement after abrupt stop
But how would his insurance cover the damage already done
Reality forgives and dents go away
But the stinging regret of yesteryear
Will stick in his mind like a raspberry seed in his wisdom tooth
Or like habits developed from birth
Not unlike this silly backwards movement
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Comments: 12
This is such a fresh, colourful, creative piece of writing. I love the line "Not to miss anything after it was already gone". It really made me think - this person sees everything, but not until it doesn't really matter anymore. Am i making sense? Well... that's my interpretation of the line! All in all, i love this!
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You totally got it! Good job!
I'm glad you like it!
~Eric
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hahaha,i must say i laughed when i read the part about "Will stick in his mind like a raspberry seed in his wisdom tooth" hahaha! that was a great description for the thought you were conveying. i liked it very much! you could almost make a song out of this...hm...!
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Hmm...maybe! I'm not too good at the whole songwriting biz, but who knows, maybe some day.
Thanks again,
~Eric
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this is a very cute poem. i could see it being an awesome childrens short story. with pictures and stuff... but still with a moral. i am not saying your writing is childish.. becasue it is not at all.. infact its brilliant.
i can see what you mean about forced.. yet i cannot see [does that make sense?] what i mean is that although you feel it to be forced.. it doesnt really come across that way. it comes across a bit disjointed... just as his silly backwards movement.
what i am really trying to say is that it's excellent
bottom line:
very creative, fresh.. original. i love it!
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Jenna...you make me smile! Thank you always for your wonderful critiques. I agree with the disjointed part...maybe that's what I was trying to say? I dont know, but thank you oh so much!
~Eric
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i'm sad that he had to leave his backwards world... how sad... but good writing none the less!
<3
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You can't live in your imagination forever, otherwise you'd start believing that you're something that you're not! Thanks again for your constant support! It means a lot!
~Eric
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great images created here! i like this one a lot! "Then, some years later, came the bump in the right direction / He backed into reality" great idea, well done Eric!
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Hey thanks! Yeah...I was driving home and was looking in the rear view, and started seeing things backwards...thought It was a good idea! Anywho, thanks again!
~Eric
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i like it. its imaginitive and creative, i like the descriptiveness and the line of the writing. makes me think of a child almost.
good job
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Thanks!
~Eric
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