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ParanoidAndroid22 — Unconscious Poet Six Feet Deep
Published: 2004-07-07 07:57:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 305; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 5
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Description This starry skyline is the last one until eternity
Goodbyes and kisses goodnight over telephone
that won’t sop up the tears that will soak the pillows they’ll cry themselves to sleep on
Lampposts blurred and spinning in these last few moments of consciousness  
Flickering blue and red with stretcher on the ready
Screeching halt
The sick, malicious irony of it all
CLEAR
That he predicted in creative words
CLEAR
The other will drunkenly stagger in handcuffs
with nothing, but a cut from the steering wheel on his forehead
as the paramedics pull the cover over his head
The black cloth covering loved ones will pass by his closed tomb
He loved
He died
COLD SWEAT
The vividness almost made dream turn to reality
Unkempt, strewn sheets
A sign that he’ll be in their bedroom again
Hugging and telling them of what our minds can tell us
When we cross the line of reality  
They pass his tomb again
This time looking at his grey receding hair line
His life will be remembered
Not by these words, but by the life that he did live
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Comments: 15

breathingnoema [2011-06-26 09:51:18 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful!

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beccaj [2005-01-06 07:21:13 +0000 UTC]

i love this poem, eric.
beautiful. and i know this critique is a little late--and perhaps you won't even know i've written you at all, but i just wanted you to know that I love it.

becca

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ParanoidAndroid22 In reply to beccaj [2005-01-06 23:03:05 +0000 UTC]

Thats cool...You'll still get updates on comments, even if its on old stuff. I'm glad you like it.
Well have a good day beccca,
~Eric

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saintsandsailors18 [2004-09-03 03:40:42 +0000 UTC]

hey eric! i really liked this one, great descriptions and stuff as you can see, im not as good with words as you are! keep up the good stuff!

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ParanoidAndroid22 In reply to saintsandsailors18 [2004-09-03 04:19:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it and it was cool seeing you at school today? Were you just in there to say happy birthday to Mr. T? Or maby you were visiting Michelle? Whatever it was, I was glad I got to talk to you. How was your summer? I hope it was a blast. Are you going to school this year? if so which one? Well I have a couple of English essays due tomorow, so i better be going, but ill talk to you soon ok?
Have a great day,
Eric

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j-langer [2004-08-27 16:28:06 +0000 UTC]

i don't think i ever took the time to read this one... i like it a lot. that's crazy with your mom and all. and i don't mind all of the prepositional phrases... i think i pry do that too. it does give the poem certain descriptive qualities that i like.

good job buddy

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ParanoidAndroid22 In reply to j-langer [2004-08-28 07:26:01 +0000 UTC]

thanks a bundle friend!

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ShadowyIrishRose [2004-07-28 15:48:46 +0000 UTC]

I quite like this one. Very potent.

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dante-17 [2004-07-13 04:57:54 +0000 UTC]

isnt that where poems come from (daydreams) anyways nice poem, not at all rubish

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grounded [2004-07-08 04:00:02 +0000 UTC]

nice, not rubishy at all

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through-the-thorns [2004-07-08 00:17:40 +0000 UTC]

speachless... wow... amazing

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ParanoidAndroid22 In reply to through-the-thorns [2004-07-08 07:00:22 +0000 UTC]

Im glad you liked it! Whats the weakest part though?...I need to know how to improve!!! As always I apriciate your comments and criticism. Thanks!
~Eric

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mysticsilverstar [2004-07-07 08:02:05 +0000 UTC]

:gap: that is so good! i really look up to your writing skills it's been described so vividly and so true it would feel like it really happened! keep it up! out of

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Shintot [2004-07-07 07:59:21 +0000 UTC]

Android 22, was he in dragonball? Anyway I like your work. Feel free to check mine.

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ParanoidAndroid22 In reply to Shintot [2004-07-07 08:19:02 +0000 UTC]

Hmm...Im not sure. I dont watch that show very often. IT IS though my favorite song by Radiohead.....the band. Maybe you've heard of them? Well check out my other stuff if you feel like it! I personally like PrePubescense...maby you will like it too! Well have a great day/night wherever you live.
~Eric

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