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ParanoidAndroid22 — Understandably Unwanted
Published: 2004-08-06 05:53:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 132; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
He sits front row in a class no one takes.She holds her gut up looking down at the frown her belly button makes
He sifts through one man’s garbage which will turn into his treasures
He talks in words as big as his brain, the words that we don’t understand
She holds a fictional magazine that tells her all their skinny demands
He wakes up at noon with backaches from the pavement
His fingers flow through greasy hair
She stands in gym and they all stare
His frail body looks for today’s meal
Prom is lonely
Prom is lonely
Jobs are hard to find
He meets She and they meet Him
They awkwardly pass each other by
“I’ve got enough problems of my own” each says to themselves
It’s easier to cope when you’re not worrying about someone else
They found a solution
A happy ending
It took some longer than others
You can find them on Sunday
Learning about the one who accepted them just the way they were
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Comments: 21
I love line thirteen. I love the Prom is lonely line. I love the simpleway you can create so much from so little. I love this poem.
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Why thank you! That means a lot from such a great poet!
Thanks again,
Eric
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i really liked this. beautiful imagery. i don't really... agree, persay, with the religious ending. the concept that god is the ultimate acceptor sounds so nice, but i just think it's way too flowery and idealistic and sugar coated. Maybe it's just because i'm an atheist; who knows. regardless, i really loved this; parts reminded me of the ee comings poem anyone lived in a pretty how town.
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Thank you so much! I suppose your right, this one is a bit idealistic. Truth is my God does accept everyone, but the other truth is not every believer in God's life goes perfect...I want you to know that I will not try to force my views on you, but I also want you to know that I will be praying for you and I hope someday you find the joy and peace I've found in God. Shucks, E. E. Cummings....no way! Thanks again and have a wonderful day!
~Eric
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oh, i definitely didn't think you were forcing beliefs, don't worry 
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thanks! I hope your life is going good. Have you ever took a nap and wanted to sleep for a week...I've been feeling like that today,since i got up that is. Well talk to you soon!
~Eric
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What a very interesting piece! Like so many other people said, excellent imagery, especially the girl looking at her belly-button. The incorperation of religion at the end surprised me a little, so I commend you for being un-preachy, although perhaps "accepted them just the way they were" is a slightly cliche ending for an otherwise original poem?
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Yeah your right. Hmm...How else could have i ended it? If youve got any ideas let me know! Thanks for the comment and I appriciate that you told me how you felt...I'm kindof sick of all the "great job keep it up" comments that I find myself so often using. Good job on commenting, kep it up....uh ok im gonna go now..thanks though!
~Eric
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hmm...
I don't know. Think about what the original line truly means, and then write that, I guess. How does it feel to recieve that kind of acceptance?
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I found this poem to be very real and very applicable to the day-to-day struggles everyone deals with. Seriously, I think it's amazing in its simplicity. You didn't need to use big words to get a point across - and the religious element at the end is great. Although the last bit about "finding a solution" was a little sudden, it didn't take anything away from the overall brilliance. Good work.
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Wow...thanks! My name is Eric and I really enjoy comments like yours! Its not every day when you hear from someone who is really interested in what you write and encourages you to do a good job! I agree that it is sudden and I might change it around and finalize it now that more people have pointed that out. But seriously thanks. It was very encouraging! Im going to check your stuff out now.
~Eric
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I really like this, the imagery is amazing!!! the ending is alittle sudden but overall a brilliant poem!
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I like this poem... I had to read twice.. I like it...
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Im glad you liked it....check out Play on words at play...its my favorite of mine.
~Eric
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ok i will... hey tell me what you think about J or S... ok.
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Interesting poem. Also, interesting way to incorporate religion.
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great writing, it reminds me of mine. it is less clear in the dialogue than in the long sentences. But that's my opinion. I would have liked to seen you introduce an introduction between he and she instead of discuss their quasi-possible relationship.
"Hello," he says to she.
"Want some coffee?"
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Good Ideas, though I dont think they would fit for this particular emotion. Your right, It is a pretty sketchy part...I'll try and clear it up if I ever publish that one. Well thanks for your comment and suggestion. They are welcom and appriciated. Also, Thanks for taking time to read my poetry. If you want to read any mor of my stuff, try "Play On Words At Play" It's probably one of my favorites of mine. Well have a great day and I'll check your stuff out to see just how much our poetry is alike.
Cheers,
Eric
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thanks, I'd appreciate any comparison to yours.
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that is really good! great flow. it connects really well. good work!
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i really like the descriptions of the people.. they are awesome. i love the unsaid message.. well done. this is an interesting piece.. you conjour up beautiful images.. a really really nice poem. well done eric
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