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Pascal775 — Prologue!
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Published: 2015-01-01 02:52:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 322; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Prologue


My name is Jana Coxand.... I am an Human, More specificially a Terran. Since I was Born I always knew I wanted to be a Spaceship commander (On a sidenote, I also wanted to be the first Female Krunchball player, A painter and the President of the Federation... But that's beyond point.) The Current Stardate is.... 24.10.2893. I am writting this, To break all the Fantasy about the Expedition of The Kestrel And the great Rebellion of 2888-2992
Yes, I was a Rookie on Fed.Base Borealis, No I didn't have a loft Dorm with a Double door bathroom. So, I was a Rookie...

''A little to the left Krull... A LITTLE! Not A MILE YOU DUMB OSTROSLU- I-I said nothing krull... A little to the right now...'' The heat of the Malfunctionning Engines Cooler, The buzzing of the Multilaser tool.... The slippery of the Slugs fluids... It was pretty much like that Everyday in the Hangar C of the Borealis base.... That guy you Heard was Mcroy, An engineer from Moon Colony Alpha, I didn't go there often, But to Examine the ships, The usual Captain logs, And determine The casuality rate... It was booming since the start of the Rebellion, A year ago. The Rebels were moving rather fast for a fleet, Well more for an Armada... The power of it was known to wipe Stations, And it stressed everyone here.... Everyone had their plan, Some said that Kamicazing by Overloading the Engine was a good way to slow them down... Yet who would try that? Most Slugs had left the station 3 Months ago... Knowing their assets were to be saved.... Some of us stayed... I knew that a Space battle was the best way to get a promotion, And to get assigned to a ship... Until we heard a booming sound, at 21.24 hours.

A large hull breach on Starboard side... We didn't Except an attack this strong, And this fast... It was Genereal panic in the Hangar, Most ran to the console to get the Clearing for Takeoff, Or the doors wouldn't open... We all got ours, Except mine... Had a little extra time. I don't know why. We finally took off, Away from the gun Blazing fleet...

Let me clarify the rebellion in my point of view, Some say the Federation plotted it, But by me, It's when The federation tried to evict the Slave trade from the other sectors,That Space nobles, Or as some call them, Starlords, Made themselves small armies to protect their assets and unite, Some engineers saw opportunity to mass product their creations, Regularly Banned by the federation...

So we fled, It wasn't the most Honorable move. But we weren't the only ones, Beside, what we saw, Flabbergasted us, A ship so large and Heavy we never could have believed it.

So we ran




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Comments: 7

millebon [2015-01-01 17:02:34 +0000 UTC]

C'est bien, mais un peu confus... surtout quand tu dis que Jana est en 2893 dans le premier paragraphe, et qu'elle est en 2889 dans le deuxième paragraphe, le retour dans le passé devrait être plus clair dès la fin du premier.
Aussi, aurais-tu écouté Guardians of the Galaxy récemment? (Starlords...)

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Pascal775 In reply to millebon [2015-01-01 17:12:25 +0000 UTC]

Ah ah! Et oui! J'ai trouvé le terme... Bien choisi!

...Et pour le retour dans le passé... Pourrait tu me préciser de quoi tu parle?

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millebon In reply to Pascal775 [2015-01-01 19:26:22 +0000 UTC]

Qu'est-ce que tu ne comprends pas exactement?

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Pascal775 In reply to millebon [2015-01-01 19:44:07 +0000 UTC]

[...]mais un peu confus... surtout quand tu dis que Jana est en 2893 dans le premier paragraphe, et qu'elle est en 2889 dans le deuxième paragraphe, le retour dans le passé devrait être plus clair dès la fin du premier.[...]

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millebon In reply to Pascal775 [2015-01-01 22:12:12 +0000 UTC]

Bon, ce que je veux dire, c'est que la transition entre le premier paragraphe (qui est en tant que tel ton prologue, le reste c'est l'équivalent du chapitre 1) et le deuxième n'est pas claire. Au début, je n'avais pas trop compris que Jana nous écrivait après la rébellion mais qu'elle nous parlait de quelque chose qui avait déjà eu lieu. Je pensais qu'elle écrivait "live" durant la rébellion et qu'elle était encore dedans, mais que tes dates étaient erronées...

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Pascal775 In reply to millebon [2015-01-02 00:44:03 +0000 UTC]

Merci!... Je devrais continuer à ton avis?

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millebon In reply to Pascal775 [2015-01-02 04:51:54 +0000 UTC]

Si tu veux!

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