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混沌

what's the best way
to ask destiny to take the wheel?

                                                    flip a coin?
                                        roll some dice?

                                  pluck petals off a daisy?

all fair answers.
i'm thinking i should get down on one knee,
give her a beautiful knife,
and see what happens.

馄饨

hunger itself can be intoxicating
when you learn to like the light feeling.

it's easier to jump around when empty.
to have nothing weighing you down.

nothing is radical anymore, i'm afraid.

what have we been up to?

             dancing in a quiet room?
       mourning how we're all alone?
         eating feelings and drawing flowers?
       dreaming of starting over?

all of the above.

quizás el mundo ya está desgastado.
tal vez me vas a olvidar.
el mar no tiene memoria de nada
y eso lo quiero.

perhaps there's a red thread between us.
more likely, i'm seeing things.

你毕业以后要做什么？

this is my chaos dumpling theory:

strings are everywhere and we breathe
underwater. this is that feeling of
jumping back in.
we need to feel the web
sticking on our hands;
if you climb out for a minute
you shiver and miss it.

swim like a siren,
& sing like a storm.
sun on the rocks like a thing with no name.

you're framed again for the same crime;
the water drips off your fingertips and
chin and the ends of your hair.
grandmother always says you're too thin.

多吃一些馄饨吧。

what sounds do the planets make?

             endless screaming into the void?
        nothing that we can hear?

both correct.
it's like that roaring in your ears
below the water's surface.
that static at night when you feel
most hopeless.

rome wasn't built in a day, but it burned
in one. daedalus, glaring at the sun,
thinks there's something nice about choosing
how it ends. who knows what i would pick?
music, most likely. an emperor
fiddled while rome went up in flames

and the violinists of the titanic
played while the ship went down.
you gamble against gravity, you lose.
it's a simple rule.

别忘了。

i would be screaming too.

so what does love feel like?

                            the deep hum of a cello?
               a black hole in your diaphragm?
              sore cheeks from smiling?
                          electricity in your rib cage?

almost.
it feels like running and laughing
and breathing and racing until you fall.
it also feels like standing, and not wanting to run. at all.

时间到了。

i wade through the water.
i hold strings in a fist.
i stare at the sun.
i wait.