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15 Things Every Girl Should Know if Considering Touring with a Male Band

1. Learn to love Denny’s. You will be there for 75% of your meals. Ignore the gas at first– your stomach will get used to it eventually.

2. The things that happen in the van are far more entertaining (and sometimes, far more disturbing) than the things that happen at the shows themselves.

3. Never date a bassist unless you consider yourself a masochist.

4. Ketchup does not taste good on everything, regardless of what they’ll try and make you believe. Never try ketchup on a banana, a pickle, or a saltine cracker, even if you haven’t eaten in days.

5. When doing merch, compliment a girl on her necklace or purse. You’re likely to get a tip if she buys something.

6. Have a member of the band compliment her, and you’re likely to get double the tip you would’ve gotten if you yourself had complimented her.

7. Pizza stains are not removed from windows easily.

8. Never suggest burritos for lunch if you are going to be in the van for an extended amount of time. No exceptions.

9. When the drummer is driving, wear a helmet.

10. Bring aspirin. Lots of it.

11. There’s a difference between the gas produced by a carnivore and the gas produced by a vegan. If anyone in the van is vegan, do your best to convert them before you leave.

12. Shower whenever you get the chance (it doesn’t come often).

13. Don’t attempt to organize the merch table, no matter how neat of a person you are– you’re only wasting your time.

14. Wear hoodies into the venue and pack them with bottled water. The venue will charge you $4 for water whether you have a wristband or not.

15. Never, NEVER be the first one to fall asleep.

Description
15 Things Every Girl Should Know if Considering Touring with a Male Band

1. Learn to love Denny’s. You will be there for 75% of your meals. Ignore the gas at first– your stomach will get used to it eventually.

2. The things that happen in the van are far more entertaining (and sometimes, far more disturbing) than the things that happen at the shows themselves.

3. Never date a bassist unless you consider yourself a masochist.

4. Ketchup does not taste good on everything, regardless of what they’ll try and make you believe. Never try ketchup on a banana, a pickle, or a saltine cracker, even if you haven’t eaten in days.

5. When doing merch, compliment a girl on her necklace or purse. You’re likely to get a tip if she buys something.

6. Have a member of the band compliment her, and you’re likely to get double the tip you would’ve gotten if you yourself had complimented her.

7. Pizza stains are not removed from windows easily.

8. Never suggest burritos for lunch if you are going to be in the van for an extended amount of time. No exceptions.

9. When the drummer is driving, wear a helmet.

10. Bring aspirin. Lots of it.

11. There’s a difference between the gas produced by a carnivore and the gas produced by a vegan. If anyone in the van is vegan, do your best to convert them before you leave.

12. Shower whenever you get the chance (it doesn’t come often).

13. Don’t attempt to organize the merch table, no matter how neat of a person you are– you’re only wasting your time.

14. Wear hoodies into the venue and pack them with bottled water. The venue will charge you $4 for water whether you have a wristband or not.

15. Never, NEVER be the first one to fall asleep.