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Description
it's 2:14 in the morning. all i've got for you tonight is a list of things i'm too scared to say.

i want to call you right now so i can hear your voice, even if you're a little drunk and can't hold a conversation. i want to hear you breathing through powerlines so i can pretend you're back home and tangled up in these sheets with me. just knowing you're holding me up against your ear makes it that much easier to imagine your lips on my forehead and my cheek on your jawbone. i misswantneed the spidertouch of your fingertips on my spine and your sad kisses goodbye at four in the morning.

i'msosadsometimes. you worry that your past is too heavy for our future to hold, but i've done terrible, deplorable things that i am too ashamed to ever tell you. i was once so flighty that the slight of a chair against a hardwood floor would send me into an earthquake panic. i would wake up, days later, shivering beneath the coffee table. because you found me one of these times and held me until it was over (and at the risk of your own safety) is exactly the reason i will trust you despite your past.

i know that you don't understand me most of the time, but i like that you know you don't have to in order to make me happy. i am a fountain of words and of the articulation of emotion, but the language of logic and reason leaves my lips broken and foreign. i think too much and not enough. i am unbalanced, and in case i slip, i need you here to break my fall.

i love the way you hold me. i feel tiny. safe. home.

every star, heads-up penny, and 11:11 is used to wish on you. because i have you close, but i want you closer. so much that i won't even yell at you if you crush my ribcage a little. when i'm with you, the concept of time doesn't matter and i don't need to wish because i feel like i have everything, and that has to mean something. right now, i miss you so much that my bones are aching.

here's the thing: you are not just on my mind when i'm drifting off to sleep. you are my company when i am waiting for the microwave to beep, when i'm making a deposit at the bank, and when i am laughing at a joke. we are not perfect. we are both headstrong and a little stubborn, and there are people who want nothing more to pick at our bad parts and tell us we are wrong for each other, that i am too overdramatic and that you are too indifferent. but i believe in you (and that says something, because i've always thought that if you believe in one thing, you'll believe in everything.)

i wanted to write this so that one day soon, when we understand each other a little better, i will show you this and say:

look, you fool. i've loved you all along.

Description
it's 2:14 in the morning. all i've got for you tonight is a list of things i'm too scared to say.

i want to call you right now so i can hear your voice, even if you're a little drunk and can't hold a conversation. i want to hear you breathing through powerlines so i can pretend you're back home and tangled up in these sheets with me. just knowing you're holding me up against your ear makes it that much easier to imagine your lips on my forehead and my cheek on your jawbone. i misswantneed the spidertouch of your fingertips on my spine and your sad kisses goodbye at four in the morning.

i'msosadsometimes. you worry that your past is too heavy for our future to hold, but i've done terrible, deplorable things that i am too ashamed to ever tell you. i was once so flighty that the slight of a chair against a hardwood floor would send me into an earthquake panic. i would wake up, days later, shivering beneath the coffee table. because you found me one of these times and held me until it was over (and at the risk of your own safety) is exactly the reason i will trust you despite your past.

i know that you don't understand me most of the time, but i like that you know you don't have to in order to make me happy. i am a fountain of words and of the articulation of emotion, but the language of logic and reason leaves my lips broken and foreign. i think too much and not enough. i am unbalanced, and in case i slip, i need you here to break my fall.

i love the way you hold me. i feel tiny. safe. home.

every star, heads-up penny, and 11:11 is used to wish on you. because i have you close, but i want you closer. so much that i won't even yell at you if you crush my ribcage a little. when i'm with you, the concept of time doesn't matter and i don't need to wish because i feel like i have everything, and that has to mean something. right now, i miss you so much that my bones are aching.

here's the thing: you are not just on my mind when i'm drifting off to sleep. you are my company when i am waiting for the microwave to beep, when i'm making a deposit at the bank, and when i am laughing at a joke. we are not perfect. we are both headstrong and a little stubborn, and there are people who want nothing more to pick at our bad parts and tell us we are wrong for each other, that i am too overdramatic and that you are too indifferent. but i believe in you (and that says something, because i've always thought that if you believe in one thing, you'll believe in everything.)

i wanted to write this so that one day soon, when we understand each other a little better, i will show you this and say:

look, you fool. i've loved you all along.