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patterninverted — would be easier to never fly
Published: 2008-03-04 21:26:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 206; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description
a man who shot birdsadvised me to clip my wings;
i fell to my death.
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Comments: 10
very profound. poignant to the teeth. i enjoy it.
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Wow, great metaphor. I wonder if the lower case "i" was intentional?
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fab. there's something wonderfully stark about this, something quite blunt, but in a wonderful way. really quite thought provoking.
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Thank you so much. You're wonderful.
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I generally dislike haikus, but this is quite nice. Bravo!
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Astounding. You say so much with so little. And I love how you haven't used long, complicated words without losing the descriptiveness and beauty. And the 5-7-5 syllable thing seems almost like an afterthought.
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Why thank you! I actually began with the lines, "I was advised/to clip my wings/by a man who shot birds for a living". They had been playing through my head for days, but I wasn't satisfied with anything I coupled it with, and I had even a harder time trying to fit it into a bigger piece. So the 5-7-5 was an afterthought, actually.
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