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Published: 2009-02-13 22:33:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 27697; Favourites: 395; Downloads: 92
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Description
Let me see … I think that the comic speaks for me with sufficient sarcasm, but for the few that wonder how I could possibly hate something they consider “the greatest book evar!” I shall indulge you with an explanation.Now, I must admit that I am an English major and currently taking Secondary Education in order to earn my teaching degree. Now, from the very back of the book I could tell that the plot was weak and cliché, but I put it down and thought nothing more of the novel a few months back; there are many a shelves covered in bad books.
Yet, before I could even turn my head to see what was sneaking up on me, I was suddenly attacked by this ‘thing’ – for lack of a better word – called Twilight.
Now, don’t point at me and say, ‘But you didn’t read it’. Yes, yes, I did. I was actually so disgusted by the thesaurus rape, multitude of easily corrected grammar errors, Mary-Sue gag fest, and poor character development that I couldn’t get through little more than half the book. Yet, I do promise you I have researched the story line thoroughly and the – if barely there be one – plot.
Anyway, to the point, I do not like Twilight because I fear for my future students. You may say, “But at least they are reading something.” Well, yes, they are but that is all. There has been more than one occasion where I have tried to convince younger readers to read something else; they simple reply, “Nah, I’ll just reread Twilight.” You see my worry, no? These young readers think that this type of writing is acceptable. They will think that Mary-Sues are good; that thesaurus rape is okay; that lack of plot is the norm; and that bad writing is good literature. Good literature is a story that reveals something to a reader, not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward. MEYER REVEALED NOTHING, except her inaccurate daydreams of relationships and classic lore.
Furthermore, I wanted to make this comic into a stamp, but I don’t know how to make flash stamps so this will have to do for now. Enjoy and for those of you interested, here are few of my anti-twilight heroes:
Excellent parody and thesaurus rape record: [link]
A site with all the top news anti-twilight: [link]
A hilarious bum reviews new moon: [link]
My anti-twilight collection on DA: [link]
Another hero in my books ... Twilight Ninja! [link]
For your viewing pleasure and movie mocking: [link] and [link]
Related content
Comments: 432
Paw07 In reply to ??? [2009-02-16 23:41:37 +0000 UTC]
Tah, tell me about it. I couldn't belief that people were doing that, espcially ruining that poor boys face in the last example. I hope she rots in jail for a few years for such a horrid atrocity. Lets see her Twilight save her then.
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Deathglare In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 04:57:39 +0000 UTC]
the worse part was that she was just so smug about it like; ''I don't have to worry about anything, my crazy peers will save me, because THAT was the right thing to be done!''
It's sad but we can't get rid these people, cause there's starting to be more and more of 'em (ever watched Korn's 'Evolution' song/vid? That's exactly what I mean).
It feels like I misspelled something...
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Paw07 In reply to Deathglare [2009-02-17 14:04:33 +0000 UTC]
You misused 'worse'.
I do agree that there are more people like that in the world, but I think we only believe there are so many do to the fact that is all the media covers? Where is my 'fluffy kitty stuck in the tree news' where the fireman adopts said homeless kitty afterward?
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Deathglare In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 02:53:11 +0000 UTC]
I guess the gore's more interesting now...making people feel bad about things that don't concern them. But they seem to enjoy it. It's the same as the seals and HSUS's lies.
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Twisted-chan In reply to ??? [2009-02-14 11:47:39 +0000 UTC]
Personally I thought the descriptions of how Edward's angelic, seraphic, heavenly gaze bothered to fall upon Bella's totally plain face for a few lust-filled seconds was completely riveting reading. *Gag* I read the entire book and actually felt physically drained for two days afterwards. Just, wow.
"--not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward."
Oh man, that's pretty funny considering that's around the section where the actual "plot device" kicks in. I'm sorry, Meyer, but plots are usually there throughout the whole book, bubbling under the surface so when you actually decide to put it into motion, the readers are sitting there going "oh, now it all makes sense!" rather than "WTF?".
In regards to concerns for younger children's reading, I can understand your angle fairly well. I was once horrified to overhear a 14/15-year-old proudly telling everyone how she "didn't read books", and yet she was cool enough to read all of the Twilight books, and wow they have more than 300 words in some of them so that makes up for it!!! She asserted that she didn't want to read anything else.
Twilight might be enjoyable for some (I know I lost it when I got to the paragraph of how Bella put cereal in a bowl. Then she put milk in it. Then she ate it. Then she washed the spoon. Then she left the bowl in the sink. Then my brain comitted suicide from boredom), and I acknowledge that it's a great topic for which great artwork and writing may be able to be produced, but Twilight should not be the only reading people ever do.
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SabaMaki In reply to Twisted-chan [2009-04-29 14:52:07 +0000 UTC]
I can just agree - the cereal-bowl-part was just... my brain turned round and I had a hard time telling it that I won´t read any more Twilight... It was about to leave me, luckily I can be quite convincing.
You guys rock. Twilight is shit.
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Twisted-chan In reply to SabaMaki [2009-05-02 13:12:10 +0000 UTC]
I think the worst thing about that passage was that I got the feeling that it was perhaps the result of Meyer deciding we needed more description, much in the same vein as the over-descriptions of whatever banquet Bella cooks.
I can't blame your brain, my own was quite all for emergency evacuation!
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SabaMaki In reply to Twisted-chan [2009-05-03 09:13:49 +0000 UTC]
Yes! Yes, exactly! Maybe the whole "Edward-is-so-amazing-and-wonderful-I-have-to-keep-my-bored-readers-telling" happend for the same reason. More descriptions. If you kept als those out, there wolud not much be left, I tell ya ^^
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Twisted-chan In reply to SabaMaki [2009-05-03 12:32:54 +0000 UTC]
Definately. A lot of girls have bragged to me that they never read books but they read the Twilight books and they have more than 300 pages!!! But then, if the books were condensed, the first one at least would probably only be 100 pages long.
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SabaMaki In reply to Twisted-chan [2009-05-03 15:48:20 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, probably. I know girls like that too - but even friends of mine who read GOOD books partly like Twilight. I was a bit shocked, really. What I didn´t like at all was the style - it´s like written by a child or something. I read it in English because it sounded so baaad in German - but it was not much better. Ugh. It´s shit, completely.
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Twisted-chan In reply to SabaMaki [2009-05-08 13:50:51 +0000 UTC]
Yes, I have a lot of very smart friends who are great writers and read fairly well-written literature, and are still obsessed with Twilight. It's a little disturbing. Goodness me, it was marginally worse in German? No wonder your brain felt suicidal!
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Paw07 In reply to Twisted-chan [2009-02-14 14:55:46 +0000 UTC]
Dear god, how did you not become ill reading the whole book like that?
Also, yay a fellow anti-twilighter! It's nice to know that everyone hasn't given into the popularity plague. There are a lot of things that are popular like reality tv, bratz dolls, and cancer … that doesn’t make them good.
Come on people, have a little individuality. Try a book people that isn’t a best seller.
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Twisted-chan In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-28 11:05:51 +0000 UTC]
I really did feel physically ill and drained, so I didn't come away from it completely unscathed.
XD "There are a lot of things that are popular like reality tv, bratz dolls, and cancer" ~Very true indeed! It's not always awesome to be obsessed with stuff that's popular and nothing else. I usually love stuff that ISN'T as popular with most people because then you've got less of a chance of getting fantards and so on, and it just kinda feels more special. Which doesn't make much sense, really, but that's how it is for me. :/
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secret-spy-guy In reply to ??? [2009-02-13 23:17:11 +0000 UTC]
Lolz. Thesaurus rape. That's the perfect word for all that Twilight is.
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-14 01:29:48 +0000 UTC]
Yes ... rape. Someone should report Meyer before she takes another victim.
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-15 20:01:07 +0000 UTC]
Yesh! She must be stopped at once!
The Host wasn't nearly as bad though, by Meyers does love love triangles too much.
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-16 06:39:07 +0000 UTC]
Ugh ... I'm to scared to look into The Host, but I think I picked it up once and hated it from the back immediatly!
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-16 16:51:39 +0000 UTC]
I'm a sci-fi nerd, so, I thought it was good. Kind of a break from the serious maleness of the genre. lolz. It really has a lot of good conflicting emotion in it, now all romance. A lot of it is ethics, which was very interesting. Kinda tugged on my heart a bit. Read the wikipedia page and see what you think. A lot of it is romance crap...but...yeah. Wasn't as bad as Twi.
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-16 23:37:31 +0000 UTC]
- checks out book description on wiki -
NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh god, she used my name in the book and even my nickname! People call me Wander all the time because my name is Wanda and my mind seems to wander from time to time. Ugh. I feel dirty.
Why Meyer, why have you defiled the sanctity of my name?!
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 00:23:25 +0000 UTC]
Tees. Maybe I liked it because I really was tired of the manliness of most science fiction stories. I needed something female oriented.
And it wasn't the plot that I liked. It was the world. The part that struck me the most was when Wanderer sees a couple of her kind (in human skins) with a human child at a playground. I was like...that's cool. I think that was really all I liked about it. that one little part. yeah.
Hey! I played a wanda in a play once. Wanda Lefkowitz. I was a genie cheerleading head...that was the strangest experience of my life.
Ahem anyways, I'm sorry that Meyer defiled your name. lolz. At least you know, and can hate her even more. tees. :evilaugh: We must unite!
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-17 13:56:31 +0000 UTC]
lol. Yes, my poor name, but I'll get my revenge. If I ever get around to finishing one of my books, I'll make sure she gets the same mocking manner. But, she'll probaly be a side character I sacrifice.
But, I must agree. Far to many science fiction books/movies fall on a male for the main role. It would be nice to see a little more women as the heros to save the day.
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-21 02:17:56 +0000 UTC]
Tees. Its fun to sacrifice small characters,
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-21 02:53:59 +0000 UTC]
I know ... that's why I like doing it. Future character named Meyer; I would like to say I'll mourn you but I will not.
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-21 03:09:20 +0000 UTC]
tteees. And Meyer is fed alive to a pack of starving wolves. The End.
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Paw07 In reply to secret-spy-guy [2009-02-22 19:39:12 +0000 UTC]
Sniff ... wow that ending made me tear up ... it was so happy.
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secret-spy-guy In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-23 01:02:21 +0000 UTC]
Quite touching isn't it? A plot to move the ages. XD
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sgtbuckwheat In reply to ??? [2009-02-13 22:50:15 +0000 UTC]
I love the expression and body language. The point is pretty good too, you explained yourself well.
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Paw07 In reply to sgtbuckwheat [2009-02-14 01:34:20 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. I have had many a debates with Twilighter's. I know the same, rather repetitive, manners of debate they use. So I decided to save myself some time in explanation.
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