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Published: 2009-02-13 22:33:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 27697; Favourites: 395; Downloads: 92
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Description
Let me see … I think that the comic speaks for me with sufficient sarcasm, but for the few that wonder how I could possibly hate something they consider “the greatest book evar!” I shall indulge you with an explanation.Now, I must admit that I am an English major and currently taking Secondary Education in order to earn my teaching degree. Now, from the very back of the book I could tell that the plot was weak and cliché, but I put it down and thought nothing more of the novel a few months back; there are many a shelves covered in bad books.
Yet, before I could even turn my head to see what was sneaking up on me, I was suddenly attacked by this ‘thing’ – for lack of a better word – called Twilight.
Now, don’t point at me and say, ‘But you didn’t read it’. Yes, yes, I did. I was actually so disgusted by the thesaurus rape, multitude of easily corrected grammar errors, Mary-Sue gag fest, and poor character development that I couldn’t get through little more than half the book. Yet, I do promise you I have researched the story line thoroughly and the – if barely there be one – plot.
Anyway, to the point, I do not like Twilight because I fear for my future students. You may say, “But at least they are reading something.” Well, yes, they are but that is all. There has been more than one occasion where I have tried to convince younger readers to read something else; they simple reply, “Nah, I’ll just reread Twilight.” You see my worry, no? These young readers think that this type of writing is acceptable. They will think that Mary-Sues are good; that thesaurus rape is okay; that lack of plot is the norm; and that bad writing is good literature. Good literature is a story that reveals something to a reader, not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward. MEYER REVEALED NOTHING, except her inaccurate daydreams of relationships and classic lore.
Furthermore, I wanted to make this comic into a stamp, but I don’t know how to make flash stamps so this will have to do for now. Enjoy and for those of you interested, here are few of my anti-twilight heroes:
Excellent parody and thesaurus rape record: [link]
A site with all the top news anti-twilight: [link]
A hilarious bum reviews new moon: [link]
My anti-twilight collection on DA: [link]
Another hero in my books ... Twilight Ninja! [link]
For your viewing pleasure and movie mocking: [link] and [link]
Related content
Comments: 432
xGothiChickx In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 21:58:12 +0000 UTC]
That was very entertaining. XD I love it, and thank you for the links. : D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to xGothiChickx [2009-02-17 22:45:10 +0000 UTC]
You are most welcome, dear madam or sir. I thought it best because I love links too.
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xGothiChickx In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 22:47:24 +0000 UTC]
Madam. :] And yes! I just finished reading the first link and it was my favorite. ^^
Anyway, have a good day.
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RevivalPhoenix In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 17:24:22 +0000 UTC]
Honest to god. The book parodies itself. Thats how crappy it is. If Twilight is the laughing stock of literature. Books are laughing at it. Then again our country is getting dumber and dumber. So sadly people think its a masterpiece. *sigh*
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Paw07 In reply to RevivalPhoenix [2009-02-17 23:11:12 +0000 UTC]
lol. I know. My friend and I make a joke from time to time that if warning labels were removed for even a month - such as warnings about coffee being hot - the world would be a less-dumb place ... and coffin sales would shoot through the roof.
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RevivalPhoenix In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 21:46:28 +0000 UTC]
Ha. Well nobody dies from burnt coffee I hate to break it to you. The coffee label idea only started because some really obese chick that bought a coffee from the 1980s was pissed that her coffee from MC Donalds burned her. She threatened to sue MC Donalds if they didn't put a warning label on it. Sad, sad world we live in.
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Paw07 In reply to RevivalPhoenix [2009-02-18 21:57:53 +0000 UTC]
I thought it was a guy that tried to sue? heh.
Anyway, labels about putting eletronics in water would be far more effect if removed, no? :thinks evil thoughts:
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RevivalPhoenix In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 22:01:21 +0000 UTC]
Perhaps. Well I dunno it would have to be the labels on a lot of stuff. The whole "not for human consumption" on pet food? Where did that come from? Do people really eat cat food and dog food. I've never tasted it before. Thats a bit worrying if you ask me.
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Paw07 In reply to RevivalPhoenix [2009-02-18 22:15:22 +0000 UTC]
lol. I have!
It was a science experiment like my freshman year to see if people's tastebuds were closer in refrance to a cat or dog; personally, I liked the dry dog food better than the cat.
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RevivalPhoenix In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 22:35:01 +0000 UTC]
Oh thats cool. I am too well... I don't want to try i it looks nasty.
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mismysmisty In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 16:25:03 +0000 UTC]
Well I've decided to pretend tat it is a parody even though it's not...because it's the only way I can stop myself from getting nauseous. LOL
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Paw07 In reply to mismysmisty [2009-02-17 17:15:26 +0000 UTC]
Poor thing, I better get you a barf bag.
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Larutanrepus In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 15:47:17 +0000 UTC]
That's painfully close to what I did. Both mixing it up for a fake and gnawing my own hands off. Yeah....XD
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Paw07 In reply to Larutanrepus [2009-02-17 17:16:35 +0000 UTC]
Did you at least leave teeth marks.
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Larutanrepus In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 23:40:32 +0000 UTC]
Oh, yeah. They still kind of hurt every once in a while. XD
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Kraka-chan In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 08:28:58 +0000 UTC]
That was a good comic and I do agree with what you said in your comment. It's bad grammar does infect those who read it... including the fact that people who want to follow in SMeyer's footsteps can't even take the most sincere of concrit.
Keep it up! ^_^
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Paw07 In reply to Kraka-chan [2009-02-17 13:42:39 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, hopefully you have a new piece up soon as well.
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Thaeavoira In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 08:03:02 +0000 UTC]
MY Anti-Twi guild was just talking about this in a topic, hilarious >v<
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to Thaeavoira [2009-02-17 13:41:34 +0000 UTC]
Really? lol. I thought i was being original?
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wandaluvstacos In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 05:27:04 +0000 UTC]
I'm going with the theory that it was in fact a parody, and Stephenie Meyer is the greatest author ever, simply because she pulled one over on everyone.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to wandaluvstacos [2009-02-17 13:39:12 +0000 UTC]
In truth, I would be more than happy to agree with you, I do love a good joke, but from the look of the Host and Meyer's inability to take criticism on something that is a 'joke', I must disagree.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
wandaluvstacos In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 14:28:40 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I don't think she's intelligent enough to pull a joke like that.
Now, the troll who wrote "My Immortal" . . . THAT troll is awesome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Paw07 In reply to wandaluvstacos [2009-02-17 23:06:01 +0000 UTC]
Yah, have you read [link] . It almost puts 'My Immortal' to shame, but is better in my mind since it is under the 'Twilight' section. Warning, if you haven't read it, beware of loss of brain mass. It really must have taken the author some work to spell that bad - I mean the sexily.
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wandaluvstacos In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 23:39:37 +0000 UTC]
"He looked exactly like Robert Pattinson except he didn’t look like he was on drugs and his skin was more pale."
This was by far not the worse line, but I thought it amusing that this troll/really, REALLY moronic writer and I agree that Robert Pattinson looks like he's on drugs in the movie.
Thanks for the link! I'd only read Twila under Twilight (Twila is probably just as bad as My Immortal)
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Paw07 In reply to wandaluvstacos [2009-02-17 23:54:49 +0000 UTC]
Really? Give me a the link please. I always love a good loz.
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wandaluvstacos In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 00:19:34 +0000 UTC]
[link]
And that was done without a beta, so you get the text speak and everything.
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Paw07 In reply to wandaluvstacos [2009-02-18 00:41:38 +0000 UTC]
O ... M ... G.
That was painful, it's even worse than the one I showed you, and that is why I love it. I can't believe the fans don't see it's a joke, yet that in itself is a joke; isn't it? Their ever growing reviews are part of the joke more so than the fic itself.
And if you ask me ... reading the flames is the best part.
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wandaluvstacos In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 02:59:12 +0000 UTC]
I think it's funny when they waste their time flaming. It's a troll. And if not, the girl is too stupid to take flames to heart. And advice doesn't help either. Advice only goes so far. If you're really bad, you'll ALWAYS be really bad.
Though I guess that yes, the flame are amusing in themselves as well.
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RevivalPhoenix In reply to wandaluvstacos [2009-02-17 17:27:18 +0000 UTC]
That fanfic was so funny I almost lost my breath laughing. Oh lordie. Loved that fanfic. Sadly it is written better than Twilight. Thats saying something. At least the fanfic had plot. Which is sad that a fanfic purposely made a bad writing prose is better than something that was on accident a bad writing prose and deemed as literature. Since they are both pretty much identical as far as Sueing and thesaurus rape goes.
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wandaluvstacos In reply to RevivalPhoenix [2009-02-17 17:35:05 +0000 UTC]
Whenever I feel like my writing is shitty, I go read that fic. Then I feel like Shakespeare.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Karuiru In reply to ??? [2009-02-17 05:25:11 +0000 UTC]
I wish it were a parody. Sadly, it's Serious Business. TT_TT;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to Karuiru [2009-02-17 13:40:51 +0000 UTC]
TT_TT Ugh, tell me about it, thus my rant.
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PeggySue2014 In reply to ??? [2009-02-16 21:45:32 +0000 UTC]
ohhhhhhhhhhh no u didnt ...... wacth ur back sister.....i love that book..i do like ur drawin though
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Paw07 In reply to PeggySue2014 [2009-02-16 23:47:50 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you like it; more are to come.
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PeggySue2014 In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-23 21:58:26 +0000 UTC]
then u will have to listen to me complain more...also i finished all the books last week im sssoooooooooo happy....wat u up 2 SIS
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to PeggySue2014 [2009-02-24 14:36:23 +0000 UTC]
Oh please. I was able to fend off three of you twi-fans last time ... do you really think you will be able to win this time?
Also, I'm still a little pissed about how you treated Jeremy.
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Xandi5anders In reply to ??? [2009-02-16 16:36:44 +0000 UTC]
Every girl is put under the category of Mary-Sue though. It aggravates me when writing for people to assume I made a Mary-Sue just because the girl's nice and found love.
But, if you want a REALLY good reason to make fun of Twilight, read Breaking Dawn. Next to the definition of "deus ex machina" should be a picture of that book, my Jareth!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Paw07 In reply to Xandi5anders [2009-02-16 23:47:14 +0000 UTC]
lol. Yah, I heard just how bad it was. In fact, I'm actually glad she wrote it; it just proved how bad the books really were.
Also, there is one good thing that came of the last book: [link] Get your laugh on.
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Xandi5anders In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-17 04:05:24 +0000 UTC]
I've seen that before. It's funny, albeit not quite accurate. I was not a melting fan I was a "what the fuck? That's not possible and it just ruined everything" fan.
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Paw07 In reply to Xandi5anders [2009-02-17 14:00:08 +0000 UTC]
Yah, I know it wasn't accurate, I just knew some of the Twilight fans thought it was funny because how inaccurate-slightly true the pic was.
Plus, I'm a huge Alien fan. God, those movies still kind of creep me out.
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Xandi5anders In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 01:00:48 +0000 UTC]
Haha. I've never seen them. I'm afraid of aliens as it is. I don't need ones with two mouths.
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Paw07 In reply to Xandi5anders [2009-02-18 03:51:16 +0000 UTC]
lol. I know, the two mouth thing always creeped me out, yet made me fall in love with them at the same time.
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Xandi5anders In reply to Paw07 [2009-02-18 19:58:57 +0000 UTC]
Have you ever read *Rimfrost 's alien comics? In one, they talk about how the guys like the predators more because they look like vaginas and the aliens look like penis-heads, so girls prefer them
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Deathglare In reply to ??? [2009-02-14 22:52:58 +0000 UTC]
ohleefuknipsshiats...I read about some of the attacks on that last link to a site you gave, and I got to say that I had to warn my brothers from making a mistake if anyone ever asked them about Twilight. Some of these chicks are just crazy. I might not be fast on my feet, but I can take a hit. I fear my younger brothers can't. This world is getting too dangerous to be lived in if a book (a fiction novel no less) becomes a matter of beliefs as important as Nazism. I could go around today and claim myself a Nazi and people would just look at me weird and walk away (ok, one screamed, but he was still laughing) but if I start saying 'Twilight Sucks', I would most likely end up in the hospital! People are not supporting the right causes anymore...
-Ka (a present-day-insane-witches-hater)
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