HOME | DD
Paw07 — Twilight isn't a Parody?
Published: 2009-02-13 22:33:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 27697; Favourites: 395; Downloads: 92
Redirect to original
Description
Let me see … I think that the comic speaks for me with sufficient sarcasm, but for the few that wonder how I could possibly hate something they consider “the greatest book evar!” I shall indulge you with an explanation.Now, I must admit that I am an English major and currently taking Secondary Education in order to earn my teaching degree. Now, from the very back of the book I could tell that the plot was weak and cliché, but I put it down and thought nothing more of the novel a few months back; there are many a shelves covered in bad books.
Yet, before I could even turn my head to see what was sneaking up on me, I was suddenly attacked by this ‘thing’ – for lack of a better word – called Twilight.
Now, don’t point at me and say, ‘But you didn’t read it’. Yes, yes, I did. I was actually so disgusted by the thesaurus rape, multitude of easily corrected grammar errors, Mary-Sue gag fest, and poor character development that I couldn’t get through little more than half the book. Yet, I do promise you I have researched the story line thoroughly and the – if barely there be one – plot.
Anyway, to the point, I do not like Twilight because I fear for my future students. You may say, “But at least they are reading something.” Well, yes, they are but that is all. There has been more than one occasion where I have tried to convince younger readers to read something else; they simple reply, “Nah, I’ll just reread Twilight.” You see my worry, no? These young readers think that this type of writing is acceptable. They will think that Mary-Sues are good; that thesaurus rape is okay; that lack of plot is the norm; and that bad writing is good literature. Good literature is a story that reveals something to a reader, not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward. MEYER REVEALED NOTHING, except her inaccurate daydreams of relationships and classic lore.
Furthermore, I wanted to make this comic into a stamp, but I don’t know how to make flash stamps so this will have to do for now. Enjoy and for those of you interested, here are few of my anti-twilight heroes:
Excellent parody and thesaurus rape record: [link]
A site with all the top news anti-twilight: [link]
A hilarious bum reviews new moon: [link]
My anti-twilight collection on DA: [link]
Another hero in my books ... Twilight Ninja! [link]
For your viewing pleasure and movie mocking: [link] and [link]
Related content
Comments: 432
Big talk coming from someone who uses their DA account solely for trolling and can't write a proper sentence; probably happened because all you read is Twilight, which is a destroyer of brain cells.
Also, since you offered me 'advice' here's some of mine: it's called capitalization. It happens at the beginning of the sentence and for proper nouns. Furthermore, just so you know, there’s no such thing as the word ‘im’.
Not like you’ll read this. You are blind now, after all. Oh well, at least with you being blind we know you can’t lose anymore brain cells to reading Meyer's joke of a novel.
👍: 0 ⏩: 3
If I could favourite comments....
<3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
:laughs: Yes, slightly childish of me, but she/he caught me on a bad day. What can I say, it is rather funny.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
XD Indeed. It certainly made my day!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Laughs. Wow, that happened so long ago I almost forgot about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
my writing is as bad has your fucking painting oh please give me some more advice for my writing!!! my holy teacher of english language!! give me some of your stupid wisdom
like that is going to offend me you only reply this because it really offend YOU like that isnt obvious and well yes i had the courage to admit that i dont now how to write like you the goddes of the writing
whatever!!! and offend stephenie meyer is not going to make her write any less
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Offended me ... you were the one who reviewed to start with? :raised brow: It seems you are the one offended, Cherry.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
and please dont reply more... your wasting my tiime
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
how old are you?its call an OPINION twilight sucked.read a real book kay?You probally dont know who this is cause your too busy reading twilight but stephen king dissed your "god" meyer saying she cant write.Watch hellsing youll know vamps dont sparkle
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Now I wish you were my teacher...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol. Maybe one day, but not today ... of course, it also matters when you graduate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah... When you graduate, MAYBE we'll meet. And we'll have no idea that we're each other
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Perhaps ... it is a small world after all.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
if it makes you feel better, fad series like Twilight have been around about as long as modern literature has. They tend to fade back into the background, only to be replaced by something else. So the types of students who would be engrossed by Twilight books would have been engrossed equally by earlier books (Harry Potter, Goosebumps, Hardy Boys if you want to go very far back.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yah, I understand fads. I fell into one or two. 
It's just that with things like Hardy Boys and HP, there were true-blue plots and original characters. Twilight is seriously lacking in those departs and more. Ugh, I hope a new and more 'literary' correct book comes around soon. I want it gone before I'm done with school.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
it will. Being a fad doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't good. Shakespeare, after all, started out as common entertainment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Don't gnaw off your hands; you'll end up with an awful taste in your mouth you can't get rid of.
I recommend a friend and a meat cleaver. Or, if you want to keep them, a light layer of hydrochloric acid.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
But how will I cut off the other hand?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
A friend with a meat cleaver. As in, put your wrists on a butcher-block table and hold your breath.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
so, i was shocked beyond all belief when on my first day of junior year, my english teacher used an example for something to us, and all she said was "Twilight", and chit-chat suddenly exploded from the girls in class, i almost fell out of my seat.
not only my 11th grade english teacher, but my 10th grade one too, they love it! and they recomend it!
whaaat?!
well, i loved this comic, very funny, and so true
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i've seen that for myself, the edward worshipers >.<
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ugh ... I know. If and when I get my teachering degree, this book collection will be banned in my room.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I think I love you o.O
I got into an argument with a Twilight fan who had ATROCIOUS TYPING (I mean like using 2 instead of too or to) who made that same argument. When she left, she said, and I quote, "bye nerd"....Personally, I took it as a compliment. :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I think I love you too, my fellow nerd. I hope you didn't have to debate with her/him too long though ... I hear that amount of stupidity can cause eye cancer.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I heard it causes brain cancer. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Yeah that happened to me, I felt so dirty and used after I found out that it wasn't a parody.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Generally, for that kind of filth, I would recommend bleach, but I don't want you to go blind. So I recommend a good book or a classic to wash away an excess Twilight.
Its days like this that I feel bad for the obsessive Twi-tards. Perhaps we should all get together and buy them some soap.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Been reading through some of those links of yours. I'm hating it more and more. Though I also feel like doing this 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol. I tried that for a while, but next thing I knew Twilight was coming to the Big Screen. Ugh, at least they don't have toys out. I think the child in me would go all emo if it saw something like that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh god... that would just be horrible.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I can see it now:
"OZMG, my Edward haz lik glitttr powr! Cooool!"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Liek OMG my Bella haz marry soo powrz and they SO pwn your Edward!!!!111!"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Lyke, nah-uh! My jacub doll iz soooooo coool. He has petofile action!"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Lyek oh em gee! *is having trouble remembering names of more Twilight characters and has to resort to using Wikipedia* My james doll culd lyek totalie smeel oot and deestroy ur jacub!"
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
:\... I was -7 thumbs and told i didn't understand the plot , there wasn't abuse and Of course i was bashed for MY grammer, but SM is a fuckin' adult.
>.< and my dream of being a writer, hurts to know how fuckin' fucked up our gereation.
D: I wish Both the book and SM would simply die.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There, there, don't be upset. 
Also, don't worry so much about the bad grammar. I was once horrible at grammar, so much so that people sometimes only reviewed to say just how horrible it truly was. I didn’t give up though. The passion was just too great; my need to feel contentment would not let me stop writing. And you know what, over time I slowly got better. To stop writing will not correct nor solve such a problem, so don't listen to those unconstructive critics. In fact, write as much as you can despite what anyone says. If they do insult you, go back and ask for a critique since they are all knowing. Ask them what words you continually misspell; what structures you are using incorrectly; and how would they correct a plot hole. If they can’t answer you in a polite and informative way, they are just a hypocrite for insulting you when they themselves can do no better.
Also, I admire you for doing so well with another language, it’s something that has always been a major obstacle for me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
X3 thank you! I haven't stopped writting and I would never dream too. 
PS: You know what i notice on Youtube, is that alot people say if you don't know english you should learn it? (i'm american >.<
I hate spanish though XD 'Rrrs' abnd how you have to actaully use your tongue >.< hard as hell. But japanese would kill by understand the writting D:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol. I actually can do the rrr's relatively easily, but I just hate all that memorizing; I'm a bigger picture kind of person.
Yah, I've noticed that on YubeTube too. In all actually, if we were all legally required to learn the most popular language in the world, it would be Chinese. lol. That would sure shut them up fast.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
<= Prev | | Next =>