HOME | DD

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

“Sir,” the gentle, feminine voice called in from the exterior to the office, “Miss Ripple is here to see you.”

Shift sighed gravely, setting down his pen and pressing a pair of fingertips to his temple as he drew in a long, deep breath. His eyes drifted closed and he braced himself.

“Send her in if you please.”

The door swung open, the patter of tiny footsteps all but muted by the faintly sticky sloshing that followed. Opening his eyes to gaze at the doorway, Shift beheld the two figures strolling in. The first, as usual, was his secretary. Her short-cropped blonde hair was neat and professional, matching perfectly with the neatly pressed red blouse and wavy black skirt beyond, and she carried herself with dignified grace... despite being no bigger than the writer’s thumb.

She breezed in ahead of the much, much bigger figure, whose motions alone made Shift immeasurably glad he had invested in polished wood for his office flooring, rather than nice carpets.

Philippa Ripple walked with the nervous energy of a first year college student trying for her first job interview in her dream career, trying to look more confident and prepared than she actually was. That said, it would have been fairer to say she ‘sloshed’ with nervous energy; Miss Ripple was, after all, not human. She was in fact what people in Shift’s industry referred to colloquially as a ‘goo girl’, or ‘slime girl’ depending on who you asked.

In many respects she shared a great number of similarities with any ordinary woman; her shape and features were, by and large, humanoid, and her facial expressions wouldn’t have been out of place on any being of flesh and blood. Her frame was one that would have implied a lifestyle of sloth on a human woman; plump and curved from top to bottom – though given the nature of her physical makeup, it was entirely possible that was simply a result of trying to condense herself into a confined space.

Her aesthetics beyond simple shape were a little harder to pin down, since her colour seemed to change from moment to moment, though it seemed predominantly to be dominated by a pale, luminescent green like toxic waste from an old cartoon. Shift couldn’t quite tell if the alternating patterns were a result of her being semi-transparent, or if they were controlled by some internal factor.

She was ‘clothed’ insofar as she had formed the shape of clothes on her body, presumably for the sake of propriety; she had even gone so far as to morph her chest into a suit and tie, which Shift couldn’t help but chuckle inwardly at.

“Miss Ripple,” Shift said pleasantly, gesturing to the wooden chair across the desk from him, “would you have a seat please?”

“T-thank you, of course.” She replied her voice faintly wet as though she were communicating through a pot of jelly. She slapped across the ground, her feet splatting on the floor and leaving soggy prints on the woodwork as she shifted over to the chair and settled into it, her entire body seeming to sink down an extra few inches under sheer momentum. “It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“Will there be anything else, sir?” The little blonde asked pleasantly.

“No, thank you Layne, you may go.”

With a swift bow at the hips, Layne spun on her heel and strolled pleasantly out of the room, leaving the door open.

“So…” Shift cleared his throat and eyed the woman’s face searchingly. “What made you decide to answer today’s advertisement?”

“Well,” she said, her voice brimming with confidence as she spoke clearly and concisely, “you’ve written a lot of pretty unusual stuff over the last couple of years, but you’ve never really strayed beyond simple humans. Sure, the stories themselves have been odd, but your characters are basically just people.”

“Oh? My characters have, in the past year alone, included an elder God, an artificial intelligence program piloting a space-ship, a giant whose veins are filled with magma, and a Countess with the power to bend reality. How is that ‘just people’?”

Miss Ripple pressed on, her confidence slipping just a fraction as she realized she may potentially have offended the man.

“Uh, don’t get me wrong, they’re all very interesting characters, but… if you showed a picture of one of them to someone with no context, they would assume they were all just ordinary humans. A Fate cosplayer, a clown, a dungeons and dragons character and a Goth respectively.” She gestured at herself emphatically, her jiggling form a mixture of green and red. “There’s no way anyone would look at me and think I’m an ordinary person.”

“Oh? A compelling argument, sure, but pure aesthetics won’t make you an interesting character.”

“With all due respect, some of the most dreary, boring, by-the-numbers characters in this community are also some of the most popular.” Miss Ripple countered, her hand gesturing emphatically as she spoke. “In the hands of the right artist, a character with the depth of a spoon and the creative range of a bucket of warm wallpaper paste will inspire legions of devoted followers.”

Shift raised a palm in warning, his expression growing serious.

“We don’t poo-poo the community here; that’s dangerously close to kink-shaming. People are allowed to like what they like after all, provided it isn’t actively hurting anyone. Plus, even if that was a non-issue,” he gestured at himself in turn, “I am not a primarily visual artist. I write stories – stories that hardly anyone even reads. You aren’t going to have any eye-catching art to go with, so you’re relying on pure appeal as an interesting and compelling character to get you off the ground.”

“Which is perfect! Goo Girls can do all sorts of interesting things that ordinary women, no matter how ‘sexy’, just can’t do! We are malleable and absorbent, we are bright and colourful, we bring the element of the supernatural and monstrous; we’re really cool!”

“People don’t come to me for ‘cool’, Miss Ripple. They come to me because they want to jerk off. Sure, maybe there’s like, three people who read my stories because they actually find them exciting from a narrative perspective, but ultimately people read smut because they want to make their heart-rate kick off. And the fact is, a lot of those ‘by the numbers characters’ you point out as being excessively popular are popular because they have broad appeal. Even people who only dip their toes into kink can understand ‘sexy woman is big’, neon hair or not. You? You’re a tough prospect to sell, and I only have a limited amount of energy to commit to writing.

I have unfinished stories for so many people, not least of which being myself; why do you deserve to be the one who I devote my energy to?”

As Philippa opened her mouth to speak, there was an immense SLAM from the front of the shop. Layne’s voice called out in shrill protest, then was swiftly cut off to be replaced with squeaks of dismay as a set of footsteps clunked towards the office.

“Oh Lord…” Shift groaned, leaning back in his chair as he watched the human embodiment of every young Goth’s wet-dreams come true stride into the room. Every inch of her from head to toe was garbed in black, thick black boots complimenting even thicker hips. Her body was an explosion of buckles, lace and Victorian era regalia as she pursed black-painted lips at Shift. In her right hand, Layne struggled against the vice-grip of pale white fingers.

“What’s all this?” The woman pointed at Philippa, who had sagged a little into her chair with worry.

“And hello to you as well, Scarlet.” Shift replied, his voice dry with resignation. “Would you please unhand my secretary? What brings you here today?”

“Don’t play cute with me.” Scarlet strode up to the desk, tossing Layne onto the tabletop like a rag-doll and slamming her fists onto the woodwork. Her eyes glimmered, pools of bloody red as Shift returned the steady gaze. “You sit there interviewing for new characters, for new sources of inspiration, while I sit in obscurity and rot?!”

“Rot?! I gave you the sweetest gig out there; one of the most varied, awesome houses to live in, perfect lee-way to be having all the coolest adventures without me!”

“Are you serious?” Scarlet spat, scorn in her voice. “You had all sorts of cool ideas for that house, you even wrote down notes for it, but you never actually wrote a story about it! Not one!”

Shift blinked at her, his eyes unfocused slightly as he thought about it. Silence hung as Scarlet folded her arms beneath her bust, never looking away as Shift seemed to visibly draw away from her gradually.

“… I… I’m sure I did…”

“Not. One. Those characters of yours are painfully undeveloped, and as far as the canon of your actual narrative is concerned, my story ended at the finale of Scarlet’s Lily – not counting my brief cameo in your little ‘Housemates with Big Asses’ series.”

“They were commissions, Scarlet.” Shift began, but she spat over him angrily.

“I was a commission! From the same fucking client no less! I was your most popular character! Until you pulled that bullshit of exploiting Emma’s popularity and the popularity of ‘feet’ to out-do yourself, I was the most highly rated story character! People loved me, and now we’re in the midst of the whole ‘Big Tiddy Goth Girlfriend’ phase!”

“Some people prefer ‘Edgar Allen Hoes’ as-”

“Why haven’t I been brought back yet?!” Scarlet interrupted, her tone icy. “I would make an absolute killing. I’m curvaceous, I have magic powers, I’m domineering and I have credibility. I am worth more than this bootleg bag of Aeroplane Jelly could ever hope to be.”

“H-hey!” Philippa said, all the defiance of a small field-mouse in her voice as she sat up in her chair. “I deserve my chance to be one of Shift’s characters, just as much as you! Maybe more-so! I’m an original idea, you were bought into existence! Plus weren’t you based off a real per-”

“AHEM.” Shift cleared his throat, raising his hand and gesturing at Scarlet to take a step back. She did so, though not before making a motion as though she were snuffing out an ant under her fingertip, glaring at Philippa. “Now then…”

Shift looked back and forth between the two, drumming his fingertips together lightly as he considered how to approach this situation.

“… here’s the thing. I love my creative expression, and I love exploring new ideas.” He looked at Philippa. “But I also love expanding on existing lore, and world-building with existing characters.” He glanced at Scarlet. “And the reality is… I don’t think I can really make this decision on my own. I’m going to have to let the internet decide on this one.”

Scarlet smirked, even as Philippa’s expression fell.

“W-what?”

“I’m going to put up a poll on Twitter, ask them their general feelings towards the state of ‘goo girls’ and such.” He flipped open his laptop and rattled away on the keyboard briefly. “If the numbers say that ‘goo girls’ are underrated and need more representation, I’ll give you your shot at being my new character.” Shift smiled warmly at Philippa.

“Oh, goo-” She began, before Scarlet interrupted.

“And if people aren’t interested?” Her comment drew a gaze from Shift, who glanced between the two of them, before adding.

“Then… I’ll let nature take its course.”

Philippa looked at Shift, worry in her expression as she looked up at Scarlet, then back over at the author.

“W-what does that mean?”

“Ever heard of a jelly shot?” Scarlet asked, licking her lips emphatically as Miss Ripple’s jaw dropped open, aghast.

“You can’t be serious!”

“It’s up to you, Miss Ripple.” Shift said, his finger hovering over the ‘enter’ button. “Shall I start the poll? This is your last chance to walk away, risk free.”

The glowing green girl stared at her palms for a long moment, before looking up at Shift, determination in her expression.

“… Do it.”

Click.

“The poll is live… it’s time to determine your fate, Miss Ripple.”

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

“Sir,” the gentle, feminine voice called in from the exterior to the office, “Miss Ripple is here to see you.”

Shift sighed gravely, setting down his pen and pressing a pair of fingertips to his temple as he drew in a long, deep breath. His eyes drifted closed and he braced himself.

“Send her in if you please.”

The door swung open, the patter of tiny footsteps all but muted by the faintly sticky sloshing that followed. Opening his eyes to gaze at the doorway, Shift beheld the two figures strolling in. The first, as usual, was his secretary. Her short-cropped blonde hair was neat and professional, matching perfectly with the neatly pressed red blouse and wavy black skirt beyond, and she carried herself with dignified grace... despite being no bigger than the writer’s thumb.

She breezed in ahead of the much, much bigger figure, whose motions alone made Shift immeasurably glad he had invested in polished wood for his office flooring, rather than nice carpets.

Philippa Ripple walked with the nervous energy of a first year college student trying for her first job interview in her dream career, trying to look more confident and prepared than she actually was. That said, it would have been fairer to say she ‘sloshed’ with nervous energy; Miss Ripple was, after all, not human. She was in fact what people in Shift’s industry referred to colloquially as a ‘goo girl’, or ‘slime girl’ depending on who you asked.

In many respects she shared a great number of similarities with any ordinary woman; her shape and features were, by and large, humanoid, and her facial expressions wouldn’t have been out of place on any being of flesh and blood. Her frame was one that would have implied a lifestyle of sloth on a human woman; plump and curved from top to bottom – though given the nature of her physical makeup, it was entirely possible that was simply a result of trying to condense herself into a confined space.

Her aesthetics beyond simple shape were a little harder to pin down, since her colour seemed to change from moment to moment, though it seemed predominantly to be dominated by a pale, luminescent green like toxic waste from an old cartoon. Shift couldn’t quite tell if the alternating patterns were a result of her being semi-transparent, or if they were controlled by some internal factor.

She was ‘clothed’ insofar as she had formed the shape of clothes on her body, presumably for the sake of propriety; she had even gone so far as to morph her chest into a suit and tie, which Shift couldn’t help but chuckle inwardly at.

“Miss Ripple,” Shift said pleasantly, gesturing to the wooden chair across the desk from him, “would you have a seat please?”

“T-thank you, of course.” She replied her voice faintly wet as though she were communicating through a pot of jelly. She slapped across the ground, her feet splatting on the floor and leaving soggy prints on the woodwork as she shifted over to the chair and settled into it, her entire body seeming to sink down an extra few inches under sheer momentum. “It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“Will there be anything else, sir?” The little blonde asked pleasantly.

“No, thank you Layne, you may go.”

With a swift bow at the hips, Layne spun on her heel and strolled pleasantly out of the room, leaving the door open.

“So…” Shift cleared his throat and eyed the woman’s face searchingly. “What made you decide to answer today’s advertisement?”

“Well,” she said, her voice brimming with confidence as she spoke clearly and concisely, “you’ve written a lot of pretty unusual stuff over the last couple of years, but you’ve never really strayed beyond simple humans. Sure, the stories themselves have been odd, but your characters are basically just people.”

“Oh? My characters have, in the past year alone, included an elder God, an artificial intelligence program piloting a space-ship, a giant whose veins are filled with magma, and a Countess with the power to bend reality. How is that ‘just people’?”

Miss Ripple pressed on, her confidence slipping just a fraction as she realized she may potentially have offended the man.

“Uh, don’t get me wrong, they’re all very interesting characters, but… if you showed a picture of one of them to someone with no context, they would assume they were all just ordinary humans. A Fate cosplayer, a clown, a dungeons and dragons character and a Goth respectively.” She gestured at herself emphatically, her jiggling form a mixture of green and red. “There’s no way anyone would look at me and think I’m an ordinary person.”

“Oh? A compelling argument, sure, but pure aesthetics won’t make you an interesting character.”

“With all due respect, some of the most dreary, boring, by-the-numbers characters in this community are also some of the most popular.” Miss Ripple countered, her hand gesturing emphatically as she spoke. “In the hands of the right artist, a character with the depth of a spoon and the creative range of a bucket of warm wallpaper paste will inspire legions of devoted followers.”

Shift raised a palm in warning, his expression growing serious.

“We don’t poo-poo the community here; that’s dangerously close to kink-shaming. People are allowed to like what they like after all, provided it isn’t actively hurting anyone. Plus, even if that was a non-issue,” he gestured at himself in turn, “I am not a primarily visual artist. I write stories – stories that hardly anyone even reads. You aren’t going to have any eye-catching art to go with, so you’re relying on pure appeal as an interesting and compelling character to get you off the ground.”

“Which is perfect! Goo Girls can do all sorts of interesting things that ordinary women, no matter how ‘sexy’, just can’t do! We are malleable and absorbent, we are bright and colourful, we bring the element of the supernatural and monstrous; we’re really cool!”

“People don’t come to me for ‘cool’, Miss Ripple. They come to me because they want to jerk off. Sure, maybe there’s like, three people who read my stories because they actually find them exciting from a narrative perspective, but ultimately people read smut because they want to make their heart-rate kick off. And the fact is, a lot of those ‘by the numbers characters’ you point out as being excessively popular are popular because they have broad appeal. Even people who only dip their toes into kink can understand ‘sexy woman is big’, neon hair or not. You? You’re a tough prospect to sell, and I only have a limited amount of energy to commit to writing.

I have unfinished stories for so many people, not least of which being myself; why do you deserve to be the one who I devote my energy to?”

As Philippa opened her mouth to speak, there was an immense SLAM from the front of the shop. Layne’s voice called out in shrill protest, then was swiftly cut off to be replaced with squeaks of dismay as a set of footsteps clunked towards the office.

“Oh Lord…” Shift groaned, leaning back in his chair as he watched the human embodiment of every young Goth’s wet-dreams come true stride into the room. Every inch of her from head to toe was garbed in black, thick black boots complimenting even thicker hips. Her body was an explosion of buckles, lace and Victorian era regalia as she pursed black-painted lips at Shift. In her right hand, Layne struggled against the vice-grip of pale white fingers.

“What’s all this?” The woman pointed at Philippa, who had sagged a little into her chair with worry.

“And hello to you as well, Scarlet.” Shift replied, his voice dry with resignation. “Would you please unhand my secretary? What brings you here today?”

“Don’t play cute with me.” Scarlet strode up to the desk, tossing Layne onto the tabletop like a rag-doll and slamming her fists onto the woodwork. Her eyes glimmered, pools of bloody red as Shift returned the steady gaze. “You sit there interviewing for new characters, for new sources of inspiration, while I sit in obscurity and rot?!”

“Rot?! I gave you the sweetest gig out there; one of the most varied, awesome houses to live in, perfect lee-way to be having all the coolest adventures without me!”

“Are you serious?” Scarlet spat, scorn in her voice. “You had all sorts of cool ideas for that house, you even wrote down notes for it, but you never actually wrote a story about it! Not one!”

Shift blinked at her, his eyes unfocused slightly as he thought about it. Silence hung as Scarlet folded her arms beneath her bust, never looking away as Shift seemed to visibly draw away from her gradually.

“… I… I’m sure I did…”

“Not. One. Those characters of yours are painfully undeveloped, and as far as the canon of your actual narrative is concerned, my story ended at the finale of Scarlet’s Lily – not counting my brief cameo in your little ‘Housemates with Big Asses’ series.”

“They were commissions, Scarlet.” Shift began, but she spat over him angrily.

“I was a commission! From the same fucking client no less! I was your most popular character! Until you pulled that bullshit of exploiting Emma’s popularity and the popularity of ‘feet’ to out-do yourself, I was the most highly rated story character! People loved me, and now we’re in the midst of the whole ‘Big Tiddy Goth Girlfriend’ phase!”

“Some people prefer ‘Edgar Allen Hoes’ as-”

“Why haven’t I been brought back yet?!” Scarlet interrupted, her tone icy. “I would make an absolute killing. I’m curvaceous, I have magic powers, I’m domineering and I have credibility. I am worth more than this bootleg bag of Aeroplane Jelly could ever hope to be.”

“H-hey!” Philippa said, all the defiance of a small field-mouse in her voice as she sat up in her chair. “I deserve my chance to be one of Shift’s characters, just as much as you! Maybe more-so! I’m an original idea, you were bought into existence! Plus weren’t you based off a real per-”

“AHEM.” Shift cleared his throat, raising his hand and gesturing at Scarlet to take a step back. She did so, though not before making a motion as though she were snuffing out an ant under her fingertip, glaring at Philippa. “Now then…”

Shift looked back and forth between the two, drumming his fingertips together lightly as he considered how to approach this situation.

“… here’s the thing. I love my creative expression, and I love exploring new ideas.” He looked at Philippa. “But I also love expanding on existing lore, and world-building with existing characters.” He glanced at Scarlet. “And the reality is… I don’t think I can really make this decision on my own. I’m going to have to let the internet decide on this one.”

Scarlet smirked, even as Philippa’s expression fell.

“W-what?”

“I’m going to put up a poll on Twitter, ask them their general feelings towards the state of ‘goo girls’ and such.” He flipped open his laptop and rattled away on the keyboard briefly. “If the numbers say that ‘goo girls’ are underrated and need more representation, I’ll give you your shot at being my new character.” Shift smiled warmly at Philippa.

“Oh, goo-” She began, before Scarlet interrupted.

“And if people aren’t interested?” Her comment drew a gaze from Shift, who glanced between the two of them, before adding.

“Then… I’ll let nature take its course.”

Philippa looked at Shift, worry in her expression as she looked up at Scarlet, then back over at the author.

“W-what does that mean?”

“Ever heard of a jelly shot?” Scarlet asked, licking her lips emphatically as Miss Ripple’s jaw dropped open, aghast.

“You can’t be serious!”

“It’s up to you, Miss Ripple.” Shift said, his finger hovering over the ‘enter’ button. “Shall I start the poll? This is your last chance to walk away, risk free.”

The glowing green girl stared at her palms for a long moment, before looking up at Shift, determination in her expression.

“… Do it.”

Click.

“The poll is live… it’s time to determine your fate, Miss Ripple.”