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PeterCaliver — Asymmetrical
#asymmetrical #asymmetry #poem #poetry
Published: 2020-02-29 01:53:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 316; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 0
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Description
Statue in the garden, so disproportionatePeople judge because they haven't met you yet When they do know you
But that doesn't mean your fate is set They'll see what is true
Painting on the wall, so perfectly imperfect
Imperfections of your creator are what you reflect Gaze upon this imperfection
Only a fool would call you a reject Look with great inspection
Cryptic writings on the altar, so strange
A thousand years overdo for change Perfect one and all
Far, far beyond our viewing range Perfectly asymmetrical
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Comments: 28
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Ooooh, it's like using brackets but with greater punch. Nice! The spacing is tricky, but this is such a cool form you've come up with ^^ I also enjoy the positive message as well. Also, was it "Far, far beyond *our* viewing range?"
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Yay, thanks! One of the problems was if readers could tell whether they were supposed to switch and read the part on the right after every line, every stanza, or even after they'd read the entire left side. Lol, I'm probs not explaining it very well, but the form was pretty fun either way. And yeah, it was supposed to be "our", thanks for pointing that out!
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Hehe. I know what you mean ^^ I read the left-hand stanza, then its companion on the right, and so on till the end. And no worries
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Ah, then you read it in the intended fashion. Though it'd be cooler if I'd written it in a way where different orders made sense as well. Maybe someday, lol.
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Hehe. That would be like the 4-D chess of poetry o__O
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Yeah, that's be complex. A whole new level of depth and, admittedly, confusion!
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Pfff, yep XD *picks your jaw up off the floor again*
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Thank you, thank you. That jaw's very important to me.
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I can see that o_o
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I really like the way you structured it, and used that structure to add to the meaning of this piece. Bravo!
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Thank you! Sometimes it feels like the structure says more about the message than the words themselves.
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The structure can certainly add to a message, which is something I think it's important to remember. ;3
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Indeed. Especially when the structure could accidentally contradict the message, to.
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Thanks! ^_^ It's like, a combo rhyme scheme so that made it twice as fun to write. And yeah, the boundaries for literature on DA are surprisingly strict once you start tryina' do anything crazy. For me, just sticking to more interesting rhyme schemes can be easier than more interesting spacing at times.
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That's great! It's probably hard to find greater joys in life than things that're both fun to create, and to enjoy. ^_^ And haha, y'know the saying: "True creativity comes from limitations" or somethin' like that. Still, I wouldn't really complain either if they loosened it up some.
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Yeah! ^_^ And you're right, a balance is important. Without freedom we'd never do our best and without limitations we'd never grow or experiment. And yeah, there're workarounds and everythin'. Would be nice though.
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We'll see, I suppose...
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