HOME | DD
Published: 2008-04-10 12:22:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 882; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 9
Redirect to original
Description
rose petals upon piano keyscrimson sliding from ivory
dripping onto the floor
a stain that symbolizes
something permanent
that has become something
much more temporary
transient mortality
the death of more than desire
she trusted me once
sat beside me as mozart played upon
the keys beneath my fingertips
her body swaying to and fro
as though wrapped up in whimsy
i permitted myself a grin
because the angels never sense
the demons in their presence
never want to believe somebody
could be so cruel to them
what do they say?
better the devil you know.
she thought she knew me.
it only took a drop of wine
between her crimson lips
for her to smile a wicked smile
and become lost within the
melody of death's sonata
placed a hand upon my shoulder
and as she leaned in closely
i smelled her sweet perfume
parting from the music
to touch her long, brown hair
yes, she trusted me
and i, in turn, cared for her
however demons only know how
to destroy everything they touch
the tender kisses
placed upon her smooth skin
became rougher as two sides lobbied
for control over the man
did he love her or wish
to crush her
as he did everything else
was it the human who wished to taste her
or the devil sating his selfish whims
her lips parted in a tender moan
yes, she trusted me once
and, in turn, the predator smiled
and took hold of the reins
forgotten piano music
to a forgotten melody
that had once been the soundtrack
to their dance with one another
instead, the rose traced a path
across her satin flesh
before the sharp points
of porcelain daggers
embedded deep within her soul
the master she once trusted
became the demon depleting her
the soulless bastard i once was
replacing the saint i tried to be
did not rest until her humanity
became nothing more than the smoke
from a dying ember
i took from her and watched
the gothic princess i adored
close her eyes in death's repose.
smiled the devil's smile
as i licked my lips again.
and as i gazed upon the piano's keys,
i saw her hand placed upon the next chord
the next set of notes we'd been destined
to play together
crimson slipped out from her body
and coated the piano keys instead.
yes, she trusted me once.
she laid down her life for me.
and i merely took from her
before casting her away.
and as she slipped into decadence with me
i placed my hands upon the keys
and played the chorus of the cursed
the corner of my mouth
turned upward in a pleasant smile
better the devil you know, perhaps
but it would have been better
had she never known the devil at all.
Related content
Comments: 42
katarthis [2008-09-15 22:47:56 +0000 UTC]
My first impression, when I read this was that everything flowed smoothly? until the end. At that last line I somehow felt the poem slipped into dischord - that for some reason my reading of it just crashed at the length of the finale. Reading back through it I don't feel that way for not reading in the same fashion, and so I went and changed what I first wrote.
What it was I found awkward I can not tell. Perhaps this hits me too personally? At any rate, it's a superbly written story-poem.
k
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Minako-dragonhier [2008-08-01 05:59:32 +0000 UTC]
Wow,dat was lovely. i get the message or metaphor as its called. Very reat work.(did dat even make sense?) I simply love it! ^,..^ ur very good. also,i envy u.i wish mi writing was just as good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Minako-dragonhier [2008-08-07 21:17:53 +0000 UTC]
thank you for your warm compliments. i am glad you enjoyed it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Minako-dragonhier In reply to peterdawes [2008-08-07 22:47:54 +0000 UTC]
Ur Welcome! It was the truth. I'm glad u wrote it. ^,..^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Amynnah49 [2008-06-07 17:15:37 +0000 UTC]
i noticed the metaphor instead of the obvious vampire. this is very beautiful. you shold be proud
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Amynnah49 [2008-06-12 21:22:17 +0000 UTC]
Why thank you. And I am flattered that you deemed it worthy of a favorite. (As well as impressed you sensed the metaphor.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Amynnah49 In reply to peterdawes [2008-06-13 05:49:51 +0000 UTC]
heh. impressed? thanks
and dont be flattered
you have a real talent.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
orphicfiddler [2008-06-04 23:49:22 +0000 UTC]
Lovely, lovely. It boded well that I found you amidst the friends of such as LeonieSainteVire and SpideyGeek. This is gorgeous and oh-so-macabre. I love.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to orphicfiddler [2008-06-12 22:00:11 +0000 UTC]
Leonie is a dear and a talented wordsmith. I am honored to be counted amongst her company.
Thank you kindly for the warm comment. I am glad you enjoyed it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
peterdawes In reply to RainbowStarDust [2008-05-02 19:39:04 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very kindly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
DreamingMantis [2008-04-14 01:29:46 +0000 UTC]
I can never left a poem's story like taste. I always respect the rhyming poem,it's quite hard to write always in rules and rhymes; but i, unfortunatelly, cannot catch the "floating away images" in ruled ones as i can do in story shaped ones, and never can see anything except letters and words in them while i see images beyond sentences in ones like yours.
Your work has delicate meanings deep within this great story which I really appreciated.
Thanks to your heart.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
KakashiCatastrophe [2008-04-12 19:59:58 +0000 UTC]
All artistic geniuses and poetic masterminds are in grave danger.
You have to look at this: [link]
The one thing that never ceases to confound me are the extreme levels of stupidity commonly discovered inside the walls of our U.S. government.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
peterdawes In reply to KakashiCatastrophe [2008-04-12 20:14:00 +0000 UTC]
Such is why I rarely concern myself with matters of politics. The governments of this world are all bent upon their own power; nothing more. Sinners postulating as saints, preying upon the ignorant. Sad to say, the masses rarely recognize this.
Followed a few links, to offer you some peace of mind: [link]
Shot down in 2006, fortunately.
However. . .
Keep a vigilant eye.
They often love to reintroduce these obscure, nefarious lines of legislation into future bills and slip them under your noses.
For example. . .
A bill reportedly to do something noble. . . like offer equal rights to certain minority groups. . . will have, attached to it, something called a "rider". The rider is a "minor" clause within the bill with major consequences, at times.
The national ID card was a rider, if I recall correctly. If not, it has been done elsewhere with other items. Who would vote against equal rights, after all? It makes one look bigoted to vote against. Might cause one to lose their coveted position within the government. But then, another right gets taken away from the populace as a result.
Sad, but true.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
KakashiCatastrophe In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-12 21:11:04 +0000 UTC]
Yes. I tried to explain something along those lines to Kelly- but she just didn't see the significance D:
I love her all the same!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to KakashiCatastrophe [2008-04-14 03:06:10 +0000 UTC]
Kelly is a dear girl. And, at times, life is much more tolerable when matters such as politics are not infecting our day-to-day lives. There is enough to be concerned about otherwise.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
KakashiCatastrophe In reply to KakashiCatastrophe [2008-04-12 20:00:26 +0000 UTC]
Not confound,
I meant 'amaze'
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
peterdawes In reply to reanna-banana [2008-04-12 20:59:35 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, dear Kellsie-Reanne.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sacrificed-Sanity [2008-04-11 19:05:03 +0000 UTC]
Poet,
Your poem "Better the Devil you Know" has been featured in my little-read journal here: [link]
Lots of love, Sanity
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sacrificed-Sanity In reply to Sacrificed-Sanity [2008-04-11 19:38:46 +0000 UTC]
Also: [link]
<3
If you like and or want to use, you can just re-save it and then edit it in.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
dark-dragon-wings [2008-04-11 08:27:25 +0000 UTC]
peter play piano ???? pfttt lmao!! xD
me love this so so so much !!!!!!
its more dark then all lovey which is super good
Fav lines ^^ >"however demons only know how
to destroy everything they touch"
'smoke from a dying ember'
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to dark-dragon-wings [2008-04-11 17:14:01 +0000 UTC]
What? You do not believe I could? I have fairly decent span with my fingers and possess enough rhythm to dance.
Now, I shall have to learn within your lifespan so that I can demonstrate for you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dark-dragon-wings In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-12 00:16:44 +0000 UTC]
ROFL so wen im like 60 your saying that you can play piano ???? hehehe ur still funneh. lolz
well have fun trying
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to dark-dragon-wings [2008-04-12 21:00:38 +0000 UTC]
Now, who is to say it'd take that long? You are quite young yet.
By the way. . .
I never thanked you for the favorite. A rose for you, dear Jazz.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dark-dragon-wings In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-13 07:54:44 +0000 UTC]
lmao ! your totaly welcomes ^^ ohhh a black rose *.*
shineeh !!!!! thankies peter !!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
HoldingBackTears [2008-04-10 19:53:49 +0000 UTC]
You never cease to amaze me Peter. Very well done... but that's an understatement.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to HoldingBackTears [2008-04-11 17:12:03 +0000 UTC]
You are far too kind to me, dear. Thank you very much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HoldingBackTears In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-11 17:38:34 +0000 UTC]
you are very welcome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
denlm [2008-04-10 17:09:43 +0000 UTC]
I saw the metaphor immediately, and wish now you hadn't pointed it out to us yourself. I would have loved to feel smug a while longer. IMO, this is your best work to date, Peter. It blends your personal experiences with something we can all relate to: the devil within us who can kill the best around us if we let it. Bravo.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to denlm [2008-04-11 13:48:33 +0000 UTC]
I debated pointing out the metaphor. Only did so for the sake of those not as discerning; however, one needs to trust their audience a bit as well.
Thank you, Denise. I was shockingly satisfied with this one when I completed it. I still see one or two words I'd like to adjust, but you all have approved of it. This would-be poet appreciates the comment and your favorite, dear.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
denlm In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-11 14:07:59 +0000 UTC]
With total pleasure, my dark friend.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
twilight-apple [2008-04-10 16:49:51 +0000 UTC]
i used to play the piano, can still play when the mood strikes, but it hasn't in a couple of years. i do enough odd things, like crochet and cross stitch and read literature and do fun things with my parents.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to twilight-apple [2008-04-11 13:30:39 +0000 UTC]
I have been tempted, but haven't found the time yet. If there is anything I have, though, it is time. Someday, somewhere perhaps.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PhantomThiefVier In reply to peterdawes [2008-12-02 09:06:42 +0000 UTC]
What does a vampire have but time?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LeonieSainteVire [2008-04-10 15:55:48 +0000 UTC]
Your poem brings back memories of Jack...only Jack was not good...not kind...he would tell you so himself. He would not bother himself with such introspection.
Wonderful imagery.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to LeonieSainteVire [2008-04-11 17:11:34 +0000 UTC]
Neither would Flynn, once upon a time. Two sides of a man and neither side care for the other. Yet both remain inseparable.
Still, all of us possess the devil inside, don't we?
Thank you, Leonie. The favorite is humbling and an honor from you once again.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LeonieSainteVire In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-12 02:48:50 +0000 UTC]
Jack was the devil. And yes...we all possess a part of him whether we admit it or not.
::smiles:o not be humble, my friend. There is no need.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to LeonieSainteVire [2008-04-12 20:03:54 +0000 UTC]
Shall I be brash instead?
I have those moments, assuredly. However I do not indulge them as much as I once had.
As tempted as I am to scorn Jack for what he must have done to you, I know I reside within a glass house myself. Still, for your sake, I am sorry.
We devils abuse so wantonly and rarely do we stop to realize what we leave within our wake. "She" is the only reason I possess any introspection today.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LeonieSainteVire In reply to peterdawes [2008-04-13 16:06:41 +0000 UTC]
::smiles:::As I have said before...lucky "she".
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to LeonieSainteVire [2008-04-15 03:06:17 +0000 UTC]
No, quite to the contrary. Lucky me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0