HOME | DD
Published: 2008-12-10 17:39:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 525; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
music pouring forthfrom a room filled with body heat,
driving bass, synthesizers,
and a drumbeat rhythm
that came from a heart
and not an instrument.
within a thick cloud of smoke,
i found the pulse of the city
in the crowd gathered at the altar
of self-indulgence.
'come on, let's get high.'
darkness disrupted by
artificial light.
dark souls disrupted by
artificial consciences.
humanity is only the shadow
of decadence.
it has not yet fathomed the
meaning of the word.
yet they sing it in unison
as bodies move in time
with the music.
'come on, let's get high'
getting lost; venturing to
the center of the city.
discovering myself
immersed in the familiar
within the driving tempo of
loud music and raging desires.
the heartbeat of the city,
contained inside a chorus;
contained within a crowd
who would never find its
way back home again.
mortal voices chant
and shake the walls
of their urban escape.
'come on, let's get high.'
Related content
Comments: 21
Malandante [2009-01-19 09:16:31 +0000 UTC]
Totally amazing piece Peter, it was wonderful to read. (And if you can't tell I am so behind it is not funny)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Malandante [2009-01-19 18:14:14 +0000 UTC]
*chuckles* you and i both, dear, rest assured. i understand completely.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Malandante In reply to peterdawes [2009-01-20 00:30:41 +0000 UTC]
Heehee.... I think I am cursed to be forever behind.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
peterdawes In reply to DragonsChest [2008-12-11 18:13:27 +0000 UTC]
thank you kindly. on the mend, but not 100%. soon, i hope.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Renegade-Angel23 [2008-12-11 08:10:57 +0000 UTC]
Vivid and entrancing. Reading it was a high. Thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
H3ikal [2008-12-11 04:55:07 +0000 UTC]
Very astounding, the setting chosen, the mood it invokes, the choice of words and how they are laid out .....I find it hard to describe
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Kathryn-777 [2008-12-11 03:07:31 +0000 UTC]
dark souls disrupted by
artificial consciences.
humanity is only the shadow
of decadence.
it has not yet fathomed the
meaning of the word.
I really liked that part! I think humanity with its imagination and power of conception hasn't broken self imposed limits more often than not. Well written!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
losingmyfaith [2008-12-11 00:06:39 +0000 UTC]
Good, except, generally, ' ' is used to quote inside diologue. So I would just put that part in quotes and keep it in italics Other than that, it was good. Not your best, but good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to losingmyfaith [2008-12-11 00:30:01 +0000 UTC]
a fair assessment. thank you for the head's up.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Guitar-Child [2008-12-10 23:24:43 +0000 UTC]
That song sounds oddly familiar. How old is it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Guitar-Child [2008-12-10 23:35:25 +0000 UTC]
it is brand new. a release from their upcoming album.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Guitar-Child In reply to peterdawes [2008-12-10 23:50:11 +0000 UTC]
Huh, I could have sworn that I had heard it before
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TheseKrimzonFlames [2008-12-10 23:11:13 +0000 UTC]
Ya did really well with the imagery here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to TheseKrimzonFlames [2008-12-10 23:35:37 +0000 UTC]
thank you very kindly!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LunaticStar [2008-12-10 20:28:03 +0000 UTC]
Where were you while we were getting high?
Some day you will find me caught beneath the landsliiiiiiide, in a champagne supernova in the skyyyyyyy!
Okay that's what it reminded me of. Thought I'd share my randomness.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to LunaticStar [2008-12-10 20:33:17 +0000 UTC]
"slowly walking down the hall. faster than a cannonball. where were you while we were getting high?"
have not heard that song in roughly 500 years, give or take a millennium.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LunaticStar In reply to peterdawes [2008-12-10 20:33:49 +0000 UTC]
Yeah seriously, I must be like 2000 years old to like that song.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0