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Published: 2008-10-29 18:46:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 1800; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 1
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I love this time of year, because seducing prey becomes far too easy on All Hallow’s Eve. For one night, mortals imbibe their darker pleasures and leave their inhibitions at the door, becoming whatever they wish to become and doing everything they feel like doing. Costumes adorn the masses and masks hide their identities. While I could have joined in the festivities, there is something to be said for being one’s self while the rest of the world is busy being something else.Especially when one is a vampire.
The one night a year when my smiles become wider, my words of seduction more pointed without fear of it scaring away my target. These days, I do not kill in such a wanton manner, but during my days as Sabrina’s assassin, the world was an oyster and I feasted until my heart’s content. At times, I could even get my older, more regal brother to join in the fun.
It should be noted that Robin is no saint and he would never purport to being as such. At the time, however, the vampire elder who was my mentor realized what kind of creature I became under his tutelage. I loved sadism; lived for the kill so much that I became irritable on the nights when I had to refrain from the cat and mouse of predator and prey. Robin blamed himself for the monster in the black suit with the evil grin, and knew a demon had been fashioned rather than a hunter of the night. As much as he attempted to dissuade me from my immortal games, though, he still had his base instincts to contend against.
I passed him in the vestibule on my way out the door.
The grand entryway, boasting gilded banisters and plush carpeting, and the place one was most likely to brush shoulders with me if one saw me at all. It was its own central meeting place beyond the coven’s common area, where vampires would lounge in decadence and indulge their carnal desires. I never had use for such sloth. Instead, I alighted from the stairs and strolled past my immortal brethren without so much as glancing at them, on my way to other pursuits.
It was not until Robin spoke that I paused. “Brother?” he said. “Wait, please.”
Stopping at some point halfway between the bottom stair and the front door, I turned to regard my brother as he regarded me in return. His hair pulled back, he wore one of his finest suits, as always, but at least had been working on looking less like a relic from the previous century. Heaven help me if I am still dressing like this when I pass one hundred years old. “Yes, Robin?” I asked, grateful that the dark sunglasses I wore to protect my sensitive vision also blocked the annoyed look in my eyes.
Robin paced forward two steps and dug his hands into his pockets. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“To see to the night, as always.” I smirked. “Doing what it is that vampires do.”
He huffed. “Doing what it is that you do, you mean.”
“Doing what it is that any of us do who actually exist as what we are. My word, Robin.” I laughed. “Are you touchy this evening?”
He looked away. “Apologies, brother. I’ve had a poor evening already and the night has just begun.”
I folded my arms across my chest, the fine linen of my jacket forming creases at the elbow. One hand resting upon my upper arm with my fingers tapping out a silent rhythm. “What in God’s name has become of you?” I asked.
Robin’s eyes shifted back to me. “What are you talking about?”
“You.” I lowered my arms. “You used to be a hunter on par with no other. I still recall being that neophyte immortal being scolded by you on everything. My manners, my tactics, my fucking language.”
He scowled, as I knew he would. “I hate when you do that.”
“Yes, yes, when I curse or drink or smoke or inhale air in a manner not becoming of an immortal.” I paused. “And you?”
“What about me?”
“Precisely. What about you? Let us talk about acting in a manner unbecoming of an immortal.” I clasped my hands behind my back, commencing to pace around my brother. “Do you recall what tonight is?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes,” he said in an exasperated huff. “It is Halloween. Samhain. The mortal world’s excuse for dressing up and whoring themselves to the darkness as though the darkness would have them.”
“You are looking at this in altogether the wrong manner, Robin.” I placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning a bit closer, becoming the serpent seducing Eve. “Tonight is not merely Halloween, it is opportunity.”
“Opportunity for what?”
“Opportunity for what? Listen to you. Use your imagination, dear brother. Think of the mortal world, begging for its monsters to visit them; its witches and werewolves and... vampires. Think of two handsome, pale gentlemen walking into a nightclub.” I paused, relishing the thought as though swirling the taste of fine wine around in my mouth. “Flashing smiles in the same manner that rich men flaunt their wealth, watching the mortals fall into their laps for a dance with the vampire. Their minds so at ease. So placated with the warm notion that what stands before them is just another mortal playing a game in their embellished masquarade. Think of the surprise in their eyes when they discover the monsters are real.”
Robin did not respond right away, but I sensed him tense a bit, as though pretending his vampire instincts did not taste the notion on the tip of his tongue as well. “I refuse to play your games, Flynn,” he finally said.
“Fine.” I lifted my hand from his shoulder and shrugged. “Then purchase a drink and watch. Either way, you need to remove yourself from this coven before you disgust me. You, who were my teacher, acting no better than a mortal.” I tsked. “What would the elder vampires say if they caught sight of you wasting such a night in favor of sipping brandy and sulking in the dark?”
Robin raised an eyebrow at me. “You truly are the devil.”
“In the flesh. Now, come...” I motioned forward. “Do not make me have to drag you. That would be all the more embarrassing of a sight and Sabrina would mock you for nights to come.”
My older brother bristled and I laughed, waiting until he followed along before closing the distance to the exit and exchanging brusque ‘good evenings’ with the doorman as he held the door open. Robin strolled behind me until we descended the front stairs and strolled out the gates and into the Rittenhouse Square neighborhood of Philadelphia.
The night possessed something in the air. Warmer than usual for this time of year, yet still with a breeze that hinted at a chill yet to come. I lit a cigarette and glanced at Robin, noticing him step away from me a few paces lest he be forced to inhale my addiction the next time he drew breath. I smirked. “You know, dear brother,” I said, “These clubs are notorious for being filled with smoke.”
“I am still not pleased with you,” he said, changing the subject. “I’ve no idea why I let you drag me into this.”
“Because you need a bit of a thrill. Admit it.” I drew deeply from the cigarette and exhaled a stream of smoke. “Your immortal life has become too mundane for words and you wished a bit of fun. You best thank The Fates you have me as a brother. Otherwise heaven only knows what would become of you.”
Robin muttered underneath his breath and I laughed, opting for silence to fill the space between us until we arrived at one of the city’s budding Gothic nightclubs, something of a new concept at the time as the macabre began to find itself a niche amongst the mortal world. As we entered, a room filled with pulses and heavy with the stench of blood and sweat wrapped around us, while Depeche Mode invited all gathered to join a ‘black celebration’. Hardly one to refuse such an offer, I stepped through the crowd with Robin in tow.
We cut through a pack of faux vampires and their victims, dripping with fake blood. Men in white makeup with black eyeshadow and women revealing more skin than actually remained hidden beneath risque clothing. Some dressed in tight leather and others in gowns with dipping necklines. I fought the urge to salivate over the potential victims in favor of fetching a drink first.
Arriving at the bar, I placed my hands on the counter and leaned close to the bartender, shouting over the music. “Excuse me, good fellow,” I said, pausing only a moment to regard the black makeup he wore as well, which served to be an odd contrast against the multiple piercings and spiked, black hair. I wondered if the dog collar indicated he was somebody’s pet. “A scotch for me, if you will.”
The man nodded, then looked at Robin as he walked up beside me. “And you?”
Robin raised an eyebrow at our eccentric company. “I don’t imagine you keep a fresh supply of blood on hand, do you?”
I snorted. The man stared at Robin, but refused to answer, which prompted my brother to wave his hand dismissively. “I’ll have whatever he’s having,” he said. The bartender nodded and turned to fill our drink order. I produced my wallet and raised an eyebrow at Robin. “A room full of mortals and you ask for a fresh supply of blood?” I asked.
“I was being sarcastic,” Robin said. “Not my fault the freak of nature does not know how to take a joke.”
Producing money from my billfold, I placed it onto the counter, then slipped my wallet back into my pocket. “You really must lighten up,” I said as I lit another cigarette and turned to face the crowd. I blew a billow of smoke toward the masses and watched them dance. “Now, tell me what looks good to you.”
Robin nodded at the bartender as he placed our drinks before us and snatched the money. My brother took his glass in hand and swirled the contents around a bit while turning to face the dance floor as well. “What exactly do you have in mind, dare I ask?”
I smirked, raising my cigarette to my mouth again. “A drink and a dance. Perhaps even a kiss. Enough of something to poison their minds until we strike.”
“No, I meant what is so important about a hunt on Halloween? Do you seriously intent to flaunt what we are to these unsuspecting fools?”
“It’ll be sporting.” I nudged Robin once with my elbow. Pivoting, I fetched my drink and tipped it back into my throat, imbibing the full contents. As I placed the glass back onto the bar, I cocked my head toward the crowd. “Now, since you seem bent to make me do all of the work myself, do you see those girls right over there?”
Robin followed my line of sight to a duo conversing amongst themselves - a redheaded girl and a brunette both adorned with tight, lowcut gowns and pale makeup on their faces. Slowly, his glass touched his mouth and a little of the amber-colored liquid slid past his lips and into his throat. He shook his head. “Too easy,” he said. “They are purporting to be vampires. They’d play into our hands within seconds.”
I perked an eyebrow and drew from my cigarette. “You wish a challenge, then?”
Robin shrugged. “Might as well make it worth our while.” A finger from the hand holding the glass extended in the direction of another group. “The two nurses over there. They are more tempting, in my opinion. Besides, you were a doctor as a mortal. This should be familiar territory for you.”
Sneering, I muttered, “Yes, and we both know what a sainted physician I am now.” I rolled my eyes and looked at Robin as he grinned and polished off his drink. I shook my head in response while extinguishing my cigarette. “Well, come, then. You chose the victims, now you are bound to follow through.” He set down his glass. I took hold of his shoulder, pushing him forward, my hand remaining in place while we marched from the bar closer to the pair.
Dressed in white parodies of nurse apparel - a bit too revealing to be real, something I hardly complained about - neither appeared to be the type to harbor a vampire fetish. Being inside the confines of a Gothic nightclub, though, ensured this would still not be that taxing of an endeavor. I let go of Robin once we reached their vicinity and caught their eyes. “I beg your pardon,” I said, taking the lead. “But I couldn’t help but notice two pretty nurses from across the room. You make me wistful for my mortal days.”
Though both looked uncannily similar, they were not twins. One stood a few inches above her friend and was the first to speak, an eyebrow raised at me. “Your mortal days?” she asked.
I nodded, smiling wider than I normally dared to smile, revealing the daggers that slumbered in my mouth. “Yes, prior to becoming... this... I was a doctor.”
“Holy shit,” the tall girl’s friend said, speaking up. “Those are sharp-looking. Where did you get them?”
“They were a gift. Along with the pale skin and absence of a pulse.” I winked.
She laughed and nudged her friend. “Do you believe it? We caught the attention of a vampire.”
“Ut-ut...” I waved my finger, as though to tsk. “Not one, my dear, but two.” Standing to the side, I grabbed Robin by the arm and forced him to step forward. He jerked his arm from my grip and brushed it off, but I kept my hand hovering mere inches away. “This is my older brother, Robin. Not merely a vampire, but a vampire elder.”
Robin shot me a look of annoyance, but then allowed his gaze to drift toward the ladies. A much more amiable tenor developed from there. “Good evening,” he said, bowing. He took one lady’s hand and offered it a gentlemanly kiss, then did the same with her friend. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
The taller of the two laughed. “Oh you both are just too rich,” she said. “Usually the ‘vampires’ in this place are crude assholes.”
“A blemish on our kind, then,” Robin said. I only grinned. Further proof that you can take the hunter away from the hunt, but cannot remove the hunt from the hunter. My older brother only proved this when he held onto the taller woman’s hand and started to pull her away. “Allow me to atone for them and show you what dashing gentlemen we can truly be.”
She chuckled, looking at her friend with lips pursed in an expression of delighted intrigue. “He’s going to show me what a dashing gentleman he is,” she said, speaking to her friend.
Her friend giggled. “Hopefully he’s not the only one,” she said, stealing a glance at me.
I pressed my hand against my chest and bowed. “My dear, I assure you that not only am I a gentleman, I am the more exciting of the two of us.” My grin turned cunning, my eyes behind my dark spectacles a bit more devilish even if she could not see this. The corner of her mouth curled upward in a grin. I extended my hand to her as well. “Might I buy you a drink?”
She chuckled, eyebrow perked as the skeptical gaze she offered failed to mask her amusement. “Alright,” she said. “But only because I find you extremely attractive.”
“Ah, all the better for me, then.” I winked and closed my hand around hers when her fingers touched mine. Glancing back at Robin, I waved my other hand at him, grinning while he shook his head at me and turned to engage his would-be victim. The old boy was already loosening up. He’d thank me for this later.
Turning back to my own pursuit, I let go of her hand in favor of offering her my arm to take hold of. “Now,” I said once her fingers touched the fine linen of my suit. “Tell me what lured you away from the hospital tonight. There are undoubtedly going to be some disappointed patients.”
“What makes you think they’ll be disappointed?” she asked.
“Well, all I can say is... If the nurses were as attractive as you when I was a doctor, I might not have been lured into immortality.” I smirked. “You certainly would be enough to inspire the infirmed into a speedy recovery.”
She giggled. My grin turned that much more devilish. Robin was wrong; this was like shooting fish in a barrel. No way under bloody heaven that the vampire fetish femmes were any easier than this. “Oh really?” she asked as she approached the bar. The bartender looked up in our direction and nodded toward us as she continued. “Well, Dr. ... .”
“No Dr. any longer, Pet.” I slipped my hand in my pocket for my wallet again. “Call me Flynn.”
“Flynn? That’s an unusual name.”
I produced another bill and put away my wallet, my eyes never leaving her.“Yes, the first and last you’ll ever meet, I can assure you of that much.”
“Ooh, frightening.” She laughed, pausing our conversation long enough for us to order drinks and send the bartender on his merry way. I lit another cigarette and placed it on an empty ashtray as she looked at me. “You know, I’m really not a nurse.”
“Of course you are.” I grinned. “Does a tempting creature such as yourself have a name, though?”
“Madeline.” Her blue eyes shimmered a bit as she spoke. She was telling me the truth. Trusting fool. “And I’m not. I just dressed this way for Halloween. I’m really an accountant with a firm in Center City.”
She could have told me she was the Queen of Persia and I would not have cared either way. “Well, I hate to sound curt, but I really am a vampire.”
“Is this the line you feed everyone you try to get in bed?”
I plucked my cigarette and drew from it, leaning my elbow on the bar. “You do not believe me?”
Placing one hand on her hip, she leaned against it and shot me a look of disbelief. I laughed. “I’ll blow you one better, Pet,” I continued, “I was indeed a doctor.”
“Oh yeah?” The bartender returned with our drinks. She took hers in hand. “Prove it.”
“Very well.” I placed my cigarette on the ashtray again. Capturing one of her hands - the one not holding her glass - I raised her wrist to my lips. “Did you know one does not necessarily have to puncture the neck to start the outward flow of blood?” I kissed her wrist. “You have two succulent arteries in this beautiful arm of yours called the radial and ulnar with two corresponding veins of the same name. Personally, I prefer the arteries. The blood is purer.”
Madeline watched as I ran my nose along her arm. I felt her suppress a shiver. The sweet scent of blood pounding through the aforementioned circulatory conduits drifted past my nostrils, becoming the most tempting perfume I ever imbibed. I lowered her arm, but one hand continued holding onto her wrist as I pulled her against me - back touching chest. She tensed a little. Fear rose to intermingle with the smell of blood, but only a trifle, not nearly enough for my taste. I touched her chin and turned her head to the side. “Do you know which artery I prefer?” I asked.
She swallowed as a reflex. “Which one?”
“The carotid.” I kissed her neck, above the sweetest spot. Its pulse became a siren’s call; its scent an aphrodisiac. My eyes rolled back and I suppressed a groan while my lids drifted shut. “The blood vessel supplying the brain with oxygen. Did you know...” My fangs begged to become extended. I fought against the urge. “... That as the body loses blood and becomes hypovolemic, the oxygen deprivation will cause you to start feeling cold... thirsty. They call that shock, love. You die long before I could extract every pint of blood, so in truth I only drain half before you go into cardiac arrest.”
My lips raised and found their way to her ear, brushing against it as I whispered, “Do you believe me now, Madeline?”
I meant the statement both ways. She meant her response only one. “Yes, I do.”
“Good.” I let go of her, spinning her around and lifting her wrist again. Only this time I kissed her hand and let go. Her heart pounding in her chest, Madeline smiled in a hesitant manner, still knee-deep in denial. She raised her glass to her mouth and finally took a sip of her drink. “So,” she said. “If you’re not a doctor any longer, then what are you?”
My cigarette found its way between my fingers again. “An assassin.”
She ceased drinking at once. “An assassin?”
“Yes, I kill people. Ironic, is it not?”
I smiled as winsomely as possible, smoke drifting from my nostrils as I exhaled. We stared at each other for a moment until Madeline burst into a fit of laughter. She began into a cacophonous and rambling monologue, discussing what a card I was and how much fun I must be to have such an overactive imagination. As she spoke, I glanced across the room at Robin, seeing him dance with his prey and lean close to her, his eyes raising from the neck he kissed to look up at me. Murder danced across his cold, blue eyes, his own dalliance with temptation well under way.
“Say, dear,” I said, cutting off Madeline as I looked back at her. “I apologize for intruding, but might we indulge in a dance?” I extinguished my cigarette and picked up my second glass of scotch. “Your friend and my brother seem to be having all the fun.”
“Oh, really?” She looked in their direction as I polished off my drink in one fell swoop. Madeline finished her drink as well, her eyes returning to mine as she and I set our empty glasses beside each other on the bar. She grabbed my hand and pulled me away. “Janey’s going to rub it in if we don’t dance, too. Come on, let’s show them how to have a good time.”
“Oh, if only you knew, dear Madeline,” I said, muttering underneath my breath. The music began to pick up, becoming loud and thus blotting out my little devilish discourse with myself. The closer we came to the music, the harder conversation became which suited me just fine. Now was the time to begin the seduction. Now was the time to join the black celebration.
Madeline stopped at the edge of the dance floor, but I freed myself of her grip, causing her some alarm as I placed a hand on her shoulder. My fingertips drifted from shoulder to shoulder, provoking a shiver to throttle up her spine until she tensed. I wrapped my arms around her afterward, though, and she settled into my embrace, one of her arms snaking around my neck. I bent low to kiss her neck as our bodies began swaying to the music.
“Death is everywhere.
There are flies on the windscreen, for a start.
Reminding us we could be torn apart. Tonight.
“Death is everywhere.
There are lambs for the slaughter, waiting to die.
And I can sense the hours slipping by. Tonight.
“Come here. Kiss me. Now.
Come here. Kiss me. Now.”
I looked up in time to see her eyelids flutter closed, her breaths becoming heavier as her body melted into mine. One of my hands raised toward her head, fingers intertwining with locks of hair, while my other hand pressed against her stomach and caressed her body. Madeline’s lips parted, forming the word, ‘yes,’ while the music continued to drown her out. All around us, a crowd of people gathered, everyone engaged the same as we were, with the faux vampires nibbling on each other using false fangs. This was too much.
My gaze shifted over to Robin, my fangs slipping out. A playful smile surfaced on my face. Robin looked at me, flashing a quick glance around us, his eyes becoming wide. ‘What the devil are you doing?’ he mouthed.
I didn’t answer. Still staring at Robin, I drove my teeth into her neck, causing her to jump before the hand nested in her hair quickly situated itself over her mouth. She whimpered and struggled against the firm hold I had on her, but nothing would be parting our bodies as rivulets of warm blood started to flow into my mouth. This time, my lids were the ones fluttering closed. I groaned against her skin and sucked and siphoned, increasing the flow the more I forced through the puncture wounds.
She attempted a scream, but the song ensured nobody but me heard. My lips forming a suction against her skin, it appeared as if I was merely kissing her within the heat of passion and as the blood loss became substantial, she began to relax and moaned as though being pleasured. I took my time when she started to relax, withdrawing to lick at her neck, nibbling at her ear and whispering a question, asking if she believed me now. Madeline said “Yes,” in the weakest little whisper such a small doe was capable of and I smiled the devil’s smile in response.
I looked at Robin and cocked my head toward him.
Robin had been watching the entire time. His eyes remained set on me feeding, his hands pressing hard against his own dance partner as his immortal instincts clamored within him. My wicked grin resurfaced. I licked Madeline’s neck again, fangs still exposed. ‘Your turn, brother,’ I mouthed.
Robin’s eyes shifted to the woman in his arms, his own teeth becoming exposed. His nose found her neck and drew a deep breath inward while his eyes closed. Robin became lost in the moment. I played the voyeur to his dark dance, watching his teeth enter his victim, causing her to jump much how Madeline jumped when my fangs pierced her. Robin held his victim tight, however, and somehow managed to continue moving with her in a manner that made it look like something more sensual than macabre was transpiring.
He drew from her in lusty gulps and Madeline moaned in my arms, coaxing me back to my own feed. Biting into her once more, I filled my mouth with the warm, rich taste of fresh blood and this time I did not cease until her heartbeat became a dying ember and nothing more. Madeline fell limp in my arms. I looked up to see Robin’s victim do the same. He raised his head from her neck, eyes still closed, the corner of his mouth curled upward as his crimson-stained fangs slid back into his jaw. He and I made eye contact. A look of sheer bliss sharpened the blue of his irises.
Smiling to myself, I carried Madeline from the dance floor. Robin followed with his paramour. Two half-finished drinks placed before them set up the scene of two passed out party girls and permitted us more than enough time to make our escape. As we strolled out of the establishment, I wrestled with the temptation to check the newspapers the next day and see what the police made of what we left behind. I chased that thought aside quickly, though, and focused on my brother instead.
He wore the same look of satisfaction upon his countenance, his eyes still ablaze. Neither of us spoke for a while, until I glanced at him once more and broke the pregnant silence between us. “Did you have fun?” I asked.
He scoffed “I still do not know about you and your little games with the mortals.” Robin shook his head and sighed. “I swear, Flynn, one of these days they will become wise to you and get the better of you.”
“Not bloody likely.” I paused to light another cigarette, then slid the pack into my jacket. My gaze returned to Robin’s when the expression on his face failed to match his words. It was written right there for all the world to see and I spoke it as such. “Come now, Robin,” I said. “Tell me you did not enjoy a little Halloween fun.”
The telling grin resurfaced on his face, the final nail being hammered in the coffin. “I could tell you that,” he said when the grin blossomed full bloom into a smile. “But then, I would be lying.”
Related content
Comments: 38
Poetrymann [2014-10-23 03:31:52 +0000 UTC]
This haunting work is featured here: Hauntingly Great Art and Literature
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Fudgewithnuts [2009-09-01 23:18:30 +0000 UTC]
*cracks up* pfffhahahahaha!! XD those two make me laugh!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PhantomThiefVier [2008-12-06 12:39:32 +0000 UTC]
*shivers* Will definately be more careful next year.
I think ths song fits the story well: [link] .
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to PhantomThiefVier [2008-12-06 13:05:09 +0000 UTC]
*chuckles* the misfits!
i have a weakness for punk music. more enamoured with post-punk (joy division, echo & the bunnymen, the cure, etc.), but i listened to the misfits, ramones, and the clash, too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PhantomThiefVier In reply to peterdawes [2008-12-06 17:30:04 +0000 UTC]
I started listening to punk with AFI (their early stuff is more punk than their newer) and have been working my way backwards. I've been listening to Joy Division since I saw you mention it as one of the songs you were listening to while writing a poem, and it's been wicked, and I like the Cure.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Cheme [2008-11-10 19:11:52 +0000 UTC]
Embracing so soft towards the skins
so charmed by the sent of your breath
taken away into the past of your
fading dreams
~bows for the immortal poet
All though I am a poet myself, the legendary poet~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Cheme [2008-11-11 20:38:46 +0000 UTC]
*bows in return* a pleasure to meet the legendary poet. such captivating words. thank you for sharing them with me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
xEmo-Loserx [2008-11-02 20:05:27 +0000 UTC]
whoa!
my name is sabrina....
that is odd...
I STILL LOVES IT!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to xEmo-Loserx [2008-11-02 20:16:28 +0000 UTC]
*laughs* the vampire who turned my brother and i was named sabrina. she was a fairly... interesting creature.
i am certain you are as well.
thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xEmo-Loserx In reply to peterdawes [2008-11-02 20:24:40 +0000 UTC]
i can be, depends in...the mood... im in
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Kathryn-777 [2008-10-31 23:39:17 +0000 UTC]
If this was the intro to a novel it would be a page turner....I was fascinated! *shivers*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Kathryn-777 [2008-11-11 20:37:11 +0000 UTC]
catherine, how could i be so remiss in not responding to this comment?
i am glad you enjoyed it that much. you make me a very happy writer with comments such as that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Kathryn-777 In reply to peterdawes [2008-11-12 17:01:17 +0000 UTC]
Well this comment was spontaneous I must say, it whetted my appetite for more and was riveted and it suddenly reminded me when I'm in bed reading a good story and I can't fall asleep and get in the story...this one looked like an intro for something to follow for some reason....I'm glad it brought a certain measure of joy to you luv
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ArtyFowl648 [2008-10-30 19:30:42 +0000 UTC]
Oh wow. Well, there's little to be said in a response to something such as your work... and so I'm speechless
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to ArtyFowl648 [2008-11-11 20:36:19 +0000 UTC]
my apologies for taking so long to reply.
thank you kindly for such a warm compliment. i truly appreciate it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TheRedHunter [2008-10-30 03:44:43 +0000 UTC]
Nothing quite compares to the hunt, does it? The risks we take, the lives in our hands. It's a high like no other.
I quite like the banter, as well. It makes me want to meet this Robin. Is he sociable? Or as dour as he appears in the story?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to TheRedHunter [2008-10-30 03:52:41 +0000 UTC]
you can say hello to him if you wish. he is *MichaelOShane . dour? no, not entirely. he has gotten much better these days. but we still pick on each other constantly just the same.
the hunt is an unparalleled high, by far. i am not the same murderous bastard as i was, but i must confess, hunting now for the sinners still holds the same intoxicating allure as it did when i hunted the saints.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
TheRedHunter In reply to peterdawes [2008-11-04 02:25:58 +0000 UTC]
As siblings should. I may just go visit him. And the hunt is just that, a hunt, no matter the prey.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Malandante [2008-10-30 00:06:37 +0000 UTC]
I swear it is wrong how good you are. That is spell-binding. I mean spell-binging. You can literally feel the fangs sink into your neck. Amazing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
peterdawes In reply to Malandante [2008-10-30 00:10:37 +0000 UTC]
you're too kind, my dear. truly. thank you so very much! it enthralls me that you all have enjoyed this piece.
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Malandante In reply to peterdawes [2008-10-30 00:51:01 +0000 UTC]
You are most welcome. I don't tend to read prose when it is on a screen. Too long and hurts my eyes staring at the screen so much. But your work is hard to resist it captures you from the first word and doesn't let go until the last.
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sarraphine [2008-10-29 21:44:28 +0000 UTC]
At the beginning when you are trying to convince Robin to go with, you left out be in "you used to *be* a hunter on par..." That's the only thing I caught.
Nice story. I really liked it, but just to show you where my mind has been I kept thinking that Mel would have seen the two of you coming a mile away..
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peterdawes In reply to sarraphine [2008-10-29 22:53:01 +0000 UTC]
good catch! thank you very kindly.
yes undoubtedly mel would have. this is why i do not hunt where mel frequents.
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sarraphine In reply to peterdawes [2008-10-30 03:40:14 +0000 UTC]
And she informed me she wouldn't be caught dead out on Halloween or any night where you prowled.
Mel: (pokes head in the room) I'm pissed off not stupid.
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ArjetLuna [2008-10-29 21:38:16 +0000 UTC]
I have to say I really liked this one. You brought the whole hunting thing to life. I nearly jumped when Madeline did.
One mistake I caught though. “You used to be a hunter on par with no other."
Otherwise, quite lovely. Can't wait for more of your sordid little tales.
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peterdawes In reply to ArjetLuna [2008-10-29 22:49:15 +0000 UTC]
thank you for pointing that out for me.
i am glad you enjoyed it, dear. if there is anything i am full of it is sordid little tales.
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ArjetLuna In reply to peterdawes [2008-10-30 02:22:05 +0000 UTC]
Oh dear, you're full of so much more, I just shouldn't state what where the children can see.
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ikkuma [2008-10-29 20:10:22 +0000 UTC]
too funny. the dialogue, i mean. actually, most in general was pretty giggle-worthy. nice to see a little humor come out in your pieces. great job, peter.
p.s: i get a kick out of robin every time
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peterdawes In reply to ikkuma [2008-10-29 22:48:12 +0000 UTC]
thank you very kindly, kellsie-reanne.
as dull as robin attempts to be, he creates the most amusing little vignettes of discourse with me.
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LeonieSainteVire [2008-10-29 20:03:50 +0000 UTC]
::smiles::Nothing like sibling rivalry. I really enjoyed this.
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peterdawes In reply to LeonieSainteVire [2008-10-29 22:45:18 +0000 UTC]
we have sibling rivalry down to an artform.
i am glad you enjoyed it, dear leonie.
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LunaticStar [2008-10-29 19:10:17 +0000 UTC]
Bauhaus woulda been funnier. >.>
Anyways. Reading this was a kick. I laugh a bit any time Robin makes a joke. His failed joke at the bar was pure brilliance, only cuz it breaks out of his sort of normal thing of being the 'regal prick,' Mr. Serious. Good work . Gluck with the contest. Have fun smashing pumpkins on halloween
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peterdawes In reply to LunaticStar [2008-10-29 22:44:45 +0000 UTC]
"bela legosi's dead..."
robin at least knows now that his calling was never to be a stand-up comedian.
thank you very kindly.
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LunaticStar In reply to peterdawes [2008-10-30 05:26:10 +0000 UTC]
Totally, I dig that song, only for its weirdness.
And he's a laugh riot, just for all the wrong reasons. You're welcome!
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Kira73 [2008-10-29 18:55:17 +0000 UTC]
Oh I enjoyed this. Your dialogue was impeccable and the exchange between the brothers was humorous at times. I love that last line especially.
You can only get away with that one on Halloween.
Nicely done. I wish you luck in the contest.
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peterdawes In reply to Kira73 [2008-10-29 22:43:22 +0000 UTC]
he and i have the tendency to get into these little verbal tiffs to this day. i have determined it is how we show "affection" to one another.
thank you very kindly, dear kira.
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