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Phantom--X — GAWI - Valentines Day Special '24
#phantomx #gettingawaywithit #valentinesday2024
Published: 2024-02-12 15:00:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 6389; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 0
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Mom: What's going on? Why is the stage empty??
Walt: The Phantom bot needed a BIOS update. He's still powered down.
* slap *
Mom: Idiot! Why didn't you postpone the update??
Larry: You built it into the MOM-OS that any and all updates are performed at random without permission. Typically during peak usage times to torture end users.
Mom: Oh yeah...
* double slap *
Mom: What about Kevin Smith? Why isn't he doing this show for infantile stupids?
Larry: You told him to film himself crying for 2 hours to promote the new Star Wars show.
* Triple Slap *
Mom: We need a SHOW YOU MAGGOTS!
Walt: Well, we do have this tape Mother. We found it in the Wolfox's things. It appears to be an unaired special.
Mom: Well, what are you waiting for?? PUT IT IN ALREADY!
[Tape Starts to Play]
Cadence: Lovers and Leavers, LIVE from an undisclosed location iiiiit's Getting Away With It. With your host, PHANTOMX!
Phantom: Thank you Thank you, full disclosure folks we are NOT live today. We're shooting this special Valentines day episode MONTHS in advance just in case something were to happen to me during the holiday.
...
Valetine's day.. Heh Valentines day can get weird....
Ahem.
Today my guest is everyone's FAVORITE lovelorn fox RICHARD-I-didn't-bother-to-learn-his-last-name.
Richard: Uh my last name is---
Phantom: No one cares kid. Your note said you had a question for me?
Richard: Why Yes. OfCourse. Well, your... AHEM spirited wife Lilith and your uh.. CADENCE are well CATS.
Phantom: Observant one aren't you?
Richard: Yes and in my ahem. Observations I've noticed that the former well... has tried to kill you over trivial slights.
Phantom: Heh.. she does not like mustard on her burgers...
Richard: Yes. Well. I thought with your EXPERINCE with aggressive, easily angered cats you could help me woo my beloved Violet this Valentine's day.
Phantom: Gonna stop you right there kid.
Richard: I was finished speaking...
Phantom: Be that as it may. Violet's mother, my bestie Meecat gave ME a bit of advice earlier this week. She's informed me if I give you ANY tips, advice or hints on how to pursue her daughter, she will harm me in ways so far removed from the English language she had to draw them out in this handy diagram.
* Phantom hands Richard a pamphlet *
Richard: * Eyes wide as he opens the paper * Can... Can she DO THAT to a human sternum??
Phantom: * Nodding * She demonstrated on a CPR mannequin. My suggestion to you is to sit quietly and wait for the credits to roll.
Richard: BUT--
Phantom: Aht! Just look at the audience and smile.
Richard: There's no one...
Phantom: SHUSH.
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
Richard: ....
Phantom: ....
[Tape Ends]
Mom: What a pointless wad of sentimental drivel. No wonder we're running the show now.
Walt: But Mother, we've been hemorrhaging money since taking over this enterprise. The high volume of anti-fan Killbots we've been producing as of late...
Mom: * Massaging her temples * Don't remind me...
Walt: Perhaps he's been messing with us from behind the scenes? He's been unusually QUIET since we ejected him.
Igner: He's friends with a Meecat!
* Mom Slaps Igner *
Mom: What is that, some sort of walrus?
Walt: It's unclear mother. But it's responsible for a "chair budget".
Mom: Well, find it! It could likely have clues to that bastard canine's secrets!
Walt: There's also someone called "MayFly".
Mom: No. That sounds like something I'd need the rights to. Get me the Meecat. Find out what it knows.
Story and Art by Me
Richard belongs to
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