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Cadence: Ladies and fungi, LIVE from an undisclosed MINUS WORLD… It's GETTING AWAY WITH IT! With your host, PhantomX!

Phantom: Thank you, Thank you. Tonight our guest is the reigning monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, PRINCESS PEACH!

Peach: Mmmmh!

Phantom: You would not BELIVE how easy it was to get her on the show tonight. I kicked one toad and the rest scattered. Ha ha I kid, so your majesty. I understand that in the new movie you get to step out of your previous role as damsel and---

Lilith: Not so fast. * Lilith steps on screen with a brief case * There is more pressing matters that need to be addressed from the past.

Phantom: Honey, I told you. We can't sue the chicken place just because they forgot your dipping sauce. The lawyer outfit is only for our sexy night court plays.

Lilith: I think you mean we shouldn’t. But I’m not here for that.

Phantom: We'll can we discuss this later I'm in the middle of a show.
* Lilith holds up a hand*

Lilith: I’m not here for you.
*shoots daggers at peach*
I’m here for you!

Peach: Mmh?

Lilith: Little under 7 years ago you abandoned your fiancé at the altar. Shame on you!

Phantom: I assume you're referring to the "Odyssey" incident? If memory serves the Mushroom monarch was taken against her will and brought to the moon. It was only due to the timely intervention of Mario that saved the day.

Lilith: that misogamist?!

*pounds her fist on the table*

He acted out of nothing but jealousy!

Phantom: How so? Video footage of Peaches abduction show that she was kidnapped via air ship.

Lilith: She was ungrateful! Do you realize the lengths that man went to?

Phantom: Oh sure nothing more romantic than terrorizing several nations and stealing historical artifacts. But did Peach ask for any of it?

Peach: Mmmm mmm!

Lilith: The man has been in love with her for years! She never even accepted a cup of coffee!

Phantom: He has EIGHT KIDS! Maybe she doesn't want to be a mom?

Lilith: She probably already is the mother to a few!

* Peach frantically trying to deny it*
Peach: MMMM! Mmm Mmm Nmmm mmm!

Phantom: Also wouldn't there be protocol to a Royal Courtship? I'm sure she would have married Mario by now if it was that easy…

Peach: …

Lilith: Oh please Mario is a simp. Bowser WORSHIPS her. Everyone deserves that.

Phantom: Didn't he keep her in an oversized birdcage at one point?

Lilith: Don't fet-shame. How many times do you wear the blue ranger costume to bed?

Phantom: What about her subjects? The Toads outright REJECT Bowser.

Lilith: The toads are racists! They hate anything that isn’t short and pudgy which is probably why they like Mario. On countless occasions the toads have made ZERO attempts to rescue her. And rumors have it that they have been bribed to look away during her captures!

Roll the clip!

Phantom: They're still her people. Shouldn't their voices be heard?

Lilith: They're useless clingers on! Can you name ONE single use for any number of them?

Phantom: What about Captain Toads Treasure Tracker?

*Peach nods in agreement*

Lilith: Didn't you call that a mixture of fantasy and crap?

Phantom: Yes, I called it "Fan-ta-CRAP"

Lilith: But ok Puppy, let’s compare the toads to bowsers subjects. Hard industrial workers who literally work to the bone to help protect the kingdom. Throwing down their lives to fight off invading Italians. OUTSIDERS looking to force their politics on an entire kingdom! These loyal subjects would and HAVE thrown their lives down for their once and future queen.

Phantom: Shouldn't love factor into the marriage? Barring that, Physical love making with an 800 pound reptile would DESTROY HER...

* Peach looks startled *

Lilith: * Smiles a bit nodding her head * Yeah it would….

Phantom: *Annoyed Clears his throat*

Lilith: Ahem Regardless bowers can change the size of his form so that wouldn’t be an issue. Furthermore you have to realize how much he loves her he traveled cross the world just to make sure that they had the perfect wedding!

Phantom: That sounds like a stalker…

Lilith: You’re one to talk. Besides I prefer the term eccentric

Phantom: Eccentric or no, Peach isn't interested.
Peach: MMh.
Phantom: Have you factored in an alliance with another kingdom? Hyrule? Dreamland? Zebes? Why should she limit herself to one region as an option?
Lilith: That's just nonsense! You can have an alliance without marriage besides peach is in line for her respective thrown she wouldn’t be eligible

Phantom: So then by that logic she wouldn't need to marry Bowser

Lilith: Bowser has heirs to his thrown so he would be able to step down.

Phantom: But your earlier argument was a marriage would unite both Kingdoms. If She isn't the reigning monarch, a marriage would be pointless. The kingdoms wouldn't merge…

Lilith: * Standing up forcing Peach to stand with her * Phantom, You've wasted enough of my client's time. We have a pressing engagement in World 8.

Peach: Mmmh?

Phantom: Hey! I'M the one who ends the show!

Lilith: *Walking Peach offstage* Cadence roll the credits…

[Credits Roll]

Lilith: THAT'S what you picked?? GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Art by Me
Story by and myself

Description

Cadence: Ladies and fungi, LIVE from an undisclosed MINUS WORLD… It's GETTING AWAY WITH IT! With your host, PhantomX!

Phantom: Thank you, Thank you. Tonight our guest is the reigning monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, PRINCESS PEACH!

Peach: Mmmmh!

Phantom: You would not BELIVE how easy it was to get her on the show tonight. I kicked one toad and the rest scattered. Ha ha I kid, so your majesty. I understand that in the new movie you get to step out of your previous role as damsel and---

Lilith: Not so fast. * Lilith steps on screen with a brief case * There is more pressing matters that need to be addressed from the past.

Phantom: Honey, I told you. We can't sue the chicken place just because they forgot your dipping sauce. The lawyer outfit is only for our sexy night court plays.

Lilith: I think you mean we shouldn’t. But I’m not here for that.

Phantom: We'll can we discuss this later I'm in the middle of a show.
* Lilith holds up a hand*

Lilith: I’m not here for you.
*shoots daggers at peach*
I’m here for you!

Peach: Mmh?

Lilith: Little under 7 years ago you abandoned your fiancé at the altar. Shame on you!

Phantom: I assume you're referring to the "Odyssey" incident? If memory serves the Mushroom monarch was taken against her will and brought to the moon. It was only due to the timely intervention of Mario that saved the day.

Lilith: that misogamist?!

*pounds her fist on the table*

He acted out of nothing but jealousy!

Phantom: How so? Video footage of Peaches abduction show that she was kidnapped via air ship.

Lilith: She was ungrateful! Do you realize the lengths that man went to?

Phantom: Oh sure nothing more romantic than terrorizing several nations and stealing historical artifacts. But did Peach ask for any of it?

Peach: Mmmm mmm!

Lilith: The man has been in love with her for years! She never even accepted a cup of coffee!

Phantom: He has EIGHT KIDS! Maybe she doesn't want to be a mom?

Lilith: She probably already is the mother to a few!

* Peach frantically trying to deny it*
Peach: MMMM! Mmm Mmm Nmmm mmm!

Phantom: Also wouldn't there be protocol to a Royal Courtship? I'm sure she would have married Mario by now if it was that easy…

Peach: …

Lilith: Oh please Mario is a simp. Bowser WORSHIPS her. Everyone deserves that.

Phantom: Didn't he keep her in an oversized birdcage at one point?

Lilith: Don't fet-shame. How many times do you wear the blue ranger costume to bed?

Phantom: What about her subjects? The Toads outright REJECT Bowser.

Lilith: The toads are racists! They hate anything that isn’t short and pudgy which is probably why they like Mario. On countless occasions the toads have made ZERO attempts to rescue her. And rumors have it that they have been bribed to look away during her captures!

Roll the clip!

Phantom: They're still her people. Shouldn't their voices be heard?

Lilith: They're useless clingers on! Can you name ONE single use for any number of them?

Phantom: What about Captain Toads Treasure Tracker?

*Peach nods in agreement*

Lilith: Didn't you call that a mixture of fantasy and crap?

Phantom: Yes, I called it "Fan-ta-CRAP"

Lilith: But ok Puppy, let’s compare the toads to bowsers subjects. Hard industrial workers who literally work to the bone to help protect the kingdom. Throwing down their lives to fight off invading Italians. OUTSIDERS looking to force their politics on an entire kingdom! These loyal subjects would and HAVE thrown their lives down for their once and future queen.

Phantom: Shouldn't love factor into the marriage? Barring that, Physical love making with an 800 pound reptile would DESTROY HER...

* Peach looks startled *

Lilith: * Smiles a bit nodding her head * Yeah it would….

Phantom: *Annoyed Clears his throat*

Lilith: Ahem Regardless bowers can change the size of his form so that wouldn’t be an issue. Furthermore you have to realize how much he loves her he traveled cross the world just to make sure that they had the perfect wedding!

Phantom: That sounds like a stalker…

Lilith: You’re one to talk. Besides I prefer the term eccentric

Phantom: Eccentric or no, Peach isn't interested.
Peach: MMh.
Phantom: Have you factored in an alliance with another kingdom? Hyrule? Dreamland? Zebes? Why should she limit herself to one region as an option?
Lilith: That's just nonsense! You can have an alliance without marriage besides peach is in line for her respective thrown she wouldn’t be eligible

Phantom: So then by that logic she wouldn't need to marry Bowser

Lilith: Bowser has heirs to his thrown so he would be able to step down.

Phantom: But your earlier argument was a marriage would unite both Kingdoms. If She isn't the reigning monarch, a marriage would be pointless. The kingdoms wouldn't merge…

Lilith: * Standing up forcing Peach to stand with her * Phantom, You've wasted enough of my client's time. We have a pressing engagement in World 8.

Peach: Mmmh?

Phantom: Hey! I'M the one who ends the show!

Lilith: *Walking Peach offstage* Cadence roll the credits…

[Credits Roll]

Lilith: THAT'S what you picked?? GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Art by Me
Story by and myself