HOME | DD
phnks — Post Traumatic Storm Disorder
#death #forever #life #pain #selfcontrol #sleep #struggle #mentalhealth #ptsd #storm
Published: 2018-08-29 03:49:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 830; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Wake up every morning to snow.A blanket so graceful, inviting sleep,
Just a rest in bliss forevermore:
Full of nightmares from which you shall wake up no more
Watch yourself smothered as if a lobotomized man under a pillow,
Crushed under an infinite blizzard death becomes pleasure,
Even while demons haunt you in hell,
You'll beg an end to the storm just so as to shrivel in your cell
Did you ever give permission to this storm of noise?
The snow is but a symptom; sleep an effect,
The storm is baked based on one defect,
Based on the fact your life automatically provides permission for everything it destroys
It is done, hurricane finished and gone,
Foundations of your home in smoke,
It's time to rebuild, from the ashes grow,
Does it have your permission to do so?
Even the storm laughed as you spoke without control:
"no"
Related content
Comments: 18
Whoa. This is frightful, actually. I mean, that ending, specifically... really packs a powerful punch - to the gut. And we are left gawking at the truth of your words... at the face of helplessness; and lack of choice, against it. .... No... Life is not always what we "make it".
You do such Fine work at capturing emotions to verse!
!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you, thank you
Yeah, you summarised the feeling I had behind this perfectly. It's a tough thing to acknowledge, that we all do act many times without real control, and in this case, with PTSD more specifically, sometimes total helplessness. It's one of my more bleak pieces for sure, I have written stuff essentially the complete opposite too. That though it's almost always an uphill battle, it is a winnable battle. We don't have to live our entire lives slaves to 'actions' and 'thoughts' we don't like 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
All very true... But the mind sure is insidious much of the time; how thoughts will creep in - even when we are actively fighting to keep them out. It's interesting to say the least..
You are very welcome 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Beautiful. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ah, I love it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you!
Indeed, it's a big part of the imagery to make the storm an entity in itself, even more in The Storm actually.
Also, some people interpret it as almost an actual entity that the character is having a conversation with, others see it as more of the "character" speaking with themselves, with the storm being a delusion or metaphor. Some people think of it as just weather. And me as the poet I'm not ready to reveal what I think 
I like how much everyone is interested in "the storm" though, it's becoming a recurring poetry "character" for me
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
'The storm is baked on one defect'; I really liked that. And I like all of the thing, especially how it starts out and what it turns into. Nicely done!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you
Indeed, it's meant to start with that sort of peacefulness of snow and sleep. And then I rapidly tried to have the piece quickly sort of turn on its head, show the real sort of "dark source" of these seemingly innocent behaviors.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh my, this is how I know I haven't had enough sleep tonight - I read 'dark sauce' at first.
As in, 'then cover it with dark sauce'.
Strangely enough, that's exactly what you did! Oh and I just love things being put on their heads. It's so refreshing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I always go through my dA notifications pretty late and while tired... right now as I'm typing this it's 2:31 am.
But yes, plenty of dark sauce
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Excellent plan! Like dark chocolate sauce
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you
Nice to see that it can keep that sort of beauty while ultimately being a poem about helplessness and well, PTSD. That was intentional, I try to make things a little more interesting than just constant darkness if you know what I mean.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Storms are so fitting for this aren't they. Like Martha said, the visuals are striking and so is the reoccurring theme of powerlessness.
I'm glad you're writing and sharing. It's important for people like us. Can't wait to see more
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
And thank you for commenting
It's tough sometimes to write with my busy not so writing orientated day life, and even when I do I don't always post on dA... but seeing all these comments is very nice and really reminds me of why I like posting here in the first place.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I went back to read the previous poem like suggested and I think they're both brilliant in their own ways. Even without the context of "The Storm", this poem still brings some strong visualizations of what the subject of the poem is feeling. I like that a lot. Brilliant work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you for going back, really appreciate that
And yes, I did want this piece to kinda hold its own, just wasn't quite sure if it really could until I read other people's perspectives. Stuff like the line about the "baked" storm is essentially a direct reference to "The Storm", and the oven in that piece.
But anyways, glad you liked it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0