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PlAyTrAgIc — add just a bit
Published: 2004-04-12 02:38:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 112; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 19
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Description
the soft hues have begun to fadereplaced by rigid shades
of blacks and grays
mere shadows...
seeming to crawl about
as if life had been granted to them
these dark beings have begun to haunt
my past...
my now...
and i fear...
im scared they will shrowd
a piece of me forever
ruining my composition
by sapping any color i get dry
leaving the bare emptiness
of a dull canvas
i'll be placed upon a easle
for all to see
myself with no emotion nor hope
THAT i will be
until the day when
an artist decides to come
covering me with teh strokes of his brush
he shall color in my lines
he'll think of me...
create me...
begin to love me...
work on me...
he will complete me.
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Comments: 7
i love the imagery...and beautiful concept.. images...illusions from the poem appeared before my eyes 
lotsa luv
nash
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for the comment and how do you think i should change the ending? any suggestions? thanks again for the flattery it was much appreciated
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hmmmm. Interesting I am no poet by any means, but it sounds pretty good to me. I sounds almost religious.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wow. that's good. REALLY good. and im not just saying that, i seriously love this piece. it makes great use of an extended metaphore and is a good example of a classic poetic style. it has resonably good imagery. if there's one thing i could critisize it would be a certain lack of energy, but that really works for this poem. it's not supposed to be energetic. some people may not like it because you can't just read through it, you have to really put your full attention towards the piece. it really has to be read in the right way, and your punctuation really helps with that.
great job. i will try to emulate this style myself. +fav.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like it, really. Very well constructed and descriptive.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for the comment and the favorite
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
