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“Why are you so pasty?”

     “Why are you so orange?”

     Jiraiya sat up indignantly. “I have a perfectly natural healthy glow, I’ll have you know. Unlike you.”

     Orochimaru rolled his eyes, and turned the page of his book. Realising he’d failed to provoke the other boy, Jiraiya lay back down onto the ground. He watched the sky boredly for a few seconds, before rolling onto his front and observing the blonde girl who was with them. Tsunade was sharpening her kunais with a worrying viciousness.

     “What are you doing?” he asked lazily.

     She looked at him with thinly veiled annoyance. “Mowing the sodding lawn. What do you think?” She waved a knife at him explanatorily before returning to her task.

     Jiraiya poked around his teeth with his tongue, searching for any stray pieces of food.

     “I’m bored.”

     “What a surprise,” said Tsunade dryly.

     “We’ve been here for ages.”

     “Well, Sarutobi-sensei is obviously late. So shut up, and stop whining.”

     “But I’m bored.”

     “That’s not my fault. Don’t take it out on my ears.”

     Jiraiya humphed and rolled onto his back again.

     “That one looks like a hat with a pigeon on it,” he said slowly, raising one hand to point and twisting his mouth in concentration. “And that one looks like a house being eaten by three elephants in tutus. And that one – “

     A knife landed worryingly close to his ear.

     “Haha, you missed.” He squinted at Tsunade who had thrown the offending article, and stuck out his tongue.

     “Why don’t you find something to do?” she asked plaintively.

     “I was doing something!” he protested loudly. He put his hands on his hips and stuck up his chin stubbornly, the effect somewhat marred by his position lying in the dirt at her feet.

     “Trying to make me kill you and blame it on Orochimaru is not a valid pasttime,” she replied, arching a brow.

     Orochimaru looked up worriedly.

     “That is not what I was doing. I was finding art in nature. Fine. I’ll stop.” He pushed himself upright. “Cut off my only source of amusement. I think only of you in my self-sacrifice.”

     Tsunade leant forward to retrieve her kunai. Jiraiya took this opportunity to look down her top.

     “Puberty not caught up with your breasts yet?”

     “Bugger off.”

     “I was just asking. Taking an interest. That’s what Sarutobi-sensei said. We’re to take an interest in each other’s lives so we can all work better as a team.”

     “God save us,” Tsunade muttered under her breath.

     “Neither of you take any interest in what I do. I always ask you questions but you never ask me anything,” he sulked folding his arms.

     “That’s because your life involves spying on unsuspecting women and pissing us off. I already know that, so why should I ask?”

     Jiraiya ignored her and leant over Orochimaru’s shoulder instead to see what he was reading.

     He snorted loudly. “Does that have pictures?”

     Orochimaru instantly flushed bright pink across his cheek bones. “Noitdoesn’t,” he said quickly, pulling it from Jiraiya’s view.

     “Yes, it does! They’re all twirly and covered in roses. I can see them!”

     A struggle ensued, Jiraiya falling back panting a minute later, clutching the book triumphantly.

     “Oh god. It’s pictures of unicorns!”

     “Shutupgiveitback.”

     Jiraiya flicked through a few pages with one hand while holding Orochimaru off with the other.

     “Where have you been all my life!” he cried in a falsetto. “This is awful. I can’t believe you read this. Yes I can actually. I think you should take over from Tsunade as official girl in the team. You’ve got more cleavage than her already.”

     “Hey!” shouted Tsunade, grabbing Jiraiya’s hair and pulling him over. “Take that back or I’ll make you eat dirt.” She scooped up a handful and held it near his face threateningly.

     “You really are rubbish at being a girl, though, you’ve got to admit – ow shit.”

     A heavy pale elbow landed in his stomach and in his momentary distraction, the book was snatched from his hand, a few pages dislodging themselves along the way. Orochimaru made a worrying noise and hunched over his injured book protectively.

     “Take. It. Back.”

     “No!”

     The dirt was shoved in Jiraiya’s mouth and he bit down on Tsunade’s fingers through the mud.

     “Bastard!” she cried raising her other hand.

     A throat was cleared quietly a little way off.

     “Oh. Hallo sensei,” Tsunade beamed.

     “Do I dare ask what you’re doing?” inquired Sarutobi hesitantly.

     “Um.” Tsunade smiled sweetly. “Taking an interest?”