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PrettyThings9Aftermath [NSFW]
Published: 2011-05-25 19:50:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 11633; Favourites: 191; Downloads: 188
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Description            The light shatters and splinters in the water; sunlight streaming through torn curtains into diamond-studded liquid the consistency and warmth of blood. Coloured by blood. Streaks of red issue from the most hidden, most secret part of her. She is dimly aware of the ache, but it is nothing compared to the ache in the seat of her emotions; she cannot name it. For once the words have all run dry.

          His arms enclose her, kneeling beside the bath he drags the cloth across her vulnerable shoulders tenderly, watching the ribbons of water run between her angelic, emaciated shoulder blades. How could she know that he loathed to be touched by any other than her? Even now she cannot look at him; he frightened her, he knows, hurt her even. But this pains him too. For years her heart beat in his breast, her face haunted his dreams, his own reflection mocked him with her visage. He can't say it's not a relief to shed the mask; to tear away the fabric of propriety, exposing it not as fine silk, but as cobwebs and as ash.

          He rests his head in the smooth curve of her neck and collarbone, the bones like delicate splints of glass wrapped in warm, breathing satin. His dark hair, dishevelled from the struggle, mingles with her titian curls and he thinks again of how good she smells, of warmth and cleanliness. The steam rises off the water like sea fog to kiss the nail-scored markings on his chest, and he remembers how, when she stopped fighting, she cast her arms over her face as if she could not believe what was happening to her. He had been forced to pull her hands away to kiss that bright, mocking mouth.

          'Amélie, I love you, you know that? I love you so much,' he whispers into the youthful down of her throat, 'I'm so sorry I hurt you, but you make me mad, you made me suffer. But I forgive you,' he brings his hand to her cheek, brushing his palm against the softness, 'I promise next time I'll be gentle.'

          Is she crying? Very quietly – even now she is proud – she adds to the water the sum of her own pain. And it breaks his heart. He gathers her to his chest like a broken animal, and a part of him delights in the nearness of her, the warmth of her, her damp skin against his own; like new-borns. It is so fitting.

          'Chérie…' the childish nickname slips off his tongue easily, and in her loss, her confusion, she turns to the man who caused her pain. Slender arms wrap instinctively around his neck as she fits her whole body into the embrace.

          'François…' the name is a plea, he responds by holding her ever closer as her harpsichordal fingers entwine in his earth-coloured hair.

          He remembers how, when it was over, when he had ceased to move in her, when he had felt content, united with her ultimately, he had lain with her in the aftermath silent and motionless for what seemed like hours. Her heart had continued to beat like a wild thing in a cage as he stared at her face that had become catatonic with shock. He revelled in the satisfaction that for once, it was he who had surprised her. Then he peeled away the last vestiges of her nightdress alongside the last remnants of his self-restraint, and carried her to the bath like an invalid, while her child-like limbs attempted to cover herself.

          He holds her tightly, knows that he will never let her go now that he possesses her ultimately. He runs a thumb down the curvature of her spine as she sobs into his shoulder, 'I'm going to take you far away from here, Chérie, wherever you want to go, we'll go,' he smiles softly, 'Do you remember when we were children, I said I'd take you to Venice?'

          She nods into his shoulder, her nails dig into his arms in agitation and he welcomes the slight pain. As Amélie had grown, she had ceased to need him, her newfound independence at once delighting and dismaying him. But he had never ceased to need her; he remembers vividly the nights of waking from nightmares to be soothed by her hand on his face, his head on her breast, hearing that infernal, eternal heartbeat echoing his own.

          Of being pursued by her perfume. Of catching sight of her in the bathtub and being silenced by the sight of her pure white flesh; how she arced upwards when the maid accidentally poured the bucket of cold over her shoulder, and how her laughter echoed up into the vaulted ceilings of the empty, cavernous house. She was the opposite of him; the other side of him, the perfect fit. He knew it now more than he knew anything; their bodies had come together as if they were made for one another.

         'When Papa comes home,' Amélie manages to articulate, 'He'll kill you.'

         This elicits only a smile of the wolfen variety, like the grins of the grey, skeletal, starving pelts that stud the countryside like tombstones. This winter has been harsh; it is too cold even for snow, instead the hoarfrost covers the ground like a prayer. Amélie remembers how François had promised to show her the frost flowers, and once, many years ago, he had. She remembers the fanning of the pale splints into all the directions of the wind, how he had plucked it from the ground and handed it to her with such tenderness – and he was capable of such tenderness – that not a single blade bent, yet when she had held it, her breath had melted it away.

           His grip on her tightens, 'And what if I kill him first? He's come between us for too long,' he brushes a long fingered hand over her upper back, over the puckered skin that runs horizontal to her spine like a second ribcage ghosted over her flesh, 'I should kill him just for this.'  

           Murder is too much; Amélie raises her fists but François is stronger, he always was. For a moment they struggle, but she cannot fight him; her body is too broken, and again she sinks into his embrace. He strokes her warm hair as bright a red as autumn fields and remembers how, when she concentrates, she runs a lock of it through her lips and sometimes, she bites it. A low sigh, something akin to lament echoes in his chest.   

           Again, his memories torment him incessantly, how their unloving parents had separated them, deeming their intimacy strange. Wrong. How they had blamed Amélie, little Amélie, for all their hate. He remembers the morning that she was to leave for the Parisian finishing school, and he for the 10th Chasseur-à-Cheval; how the coldness of the gardens chilled him like never before; the way her breath had seeped into his lungs.

            You shouldn't have to go! Why are they doing this François?

            I don't know, Chérie, I don't know.


            Then the moment that inexorably led to this climax, this fusing; her eyes of bleu celeste, heavenly cyan, shone with passion, both feverish anger and fear, and she moved into the circle of his arms to be comforted, as she often had been. But this was different; this was no childish return to the source of affection. Instead her lips met his with a touch at once gentle and possessive, and it was she who opened her mouth, seeking an escape from the emptiness inside. But it was he who touched her tongue with his own. It lasted brief moments, but François suddenly heard the roar of the blood in both their veins, the twin tattoo of their heartbeat, time narrowed, crystallised so the sensation was burnt into his memory.
Even when she pulled away in surprise he can remember the sensation of their lips parting slowly, unwillingly, seemingly almost to tear, as she moved out of his grasp. François put his hand to his mouth, an action mirrored by her own, and he felt sure that her eyes were as black with desire as his. Her stammering apology only sweetened the moment even as she bolted from his company and left him with no greater goodbye than the taste of her on his tongue. A taste that haunts him even now, that no amount of wine could mask.

           Disorientated, Amélie recalls the moments before he had hurt her so, when she was confused and afraid and virginal. She had taken the narrow stiletto from the sheath by her bed and held it trembling before her as he had approached, looking less like a man and more like something feral. He had not slept, she could see that in his stare, his acerbic features.

           Yet he had come closer still, advancing like some predatory being, his eyes never leaving her own. Even when he pressed her to the wall, in turn pressing the dagger against the vulnerable flesh of his breast, she could not do it. Even when he grasped her hands, pulling the blade towards him.

           Faites-le, Faites-le.

           It was like a shaft of sunshine, a silver bolt of lightning cast by God himself, and she could not use it. The knife rattled uselessly in her hand, fell, flashing, like divine intervention. But he hadn't stopped; he had knelt to retrieve the dagger, all the time brushing the side of his face down her arm like a cat, as she stood, caught in his strange sublime web.

           Now why can't you do it? It isn't all that difficult; watch.

           Raising the point to his own throat, he fitted it in the soft exposed flesh of under his jaw. He would have covered her hair, her lips in the bright arterial blood of their ancestors. Knocking the knife from his hand she cried out half in disgust, half in fear. Because she cared for him still, despite her horror, her confusion.

            As her tears slow her mind frantically reviews her past, the life that she thought she had known, sifting feverishly through the memories half seeking, half dreading what she knows she will find. It was a lie, all the feelings, all the happiness had nothing but a hollow, rotted core beneath the beautiful façade. She feels sick as François strokes her shoulders absently, consoling her, as he had done so many times before. A dark green, slimy nausea that threatens to suffocate her rises in her chest.

          'How could you?' she says, so brokenly that even with the little distance between them François must lean close enough that her lips almost touch his cheek, 'You have spoilt everything,' as she speaks the memories of her childhood flash upwards through her mind, as if she is running down a corridor lined with portraits of the past that once seemed so comforting, now their smiles appear mocking; her parents conniving and cruel. The canvas of memory warps, twisting the thoughts out of shape, tearing them from the board, fraying the edges and showing the once bright colours to be harsh and ugly in the light.

           'Don't you see, Amélie, it isn't spoilt,' he brushes the hair from the sides of her face, the glorious hair he had wanted to touch for so long, like a child drawn to the shine and the softness, 'You can't know what a relief it is, to no longer have to pretend, Amélie.' She keeps her eyes closed; she cannot bear to see him, but he adores the way her damp eyelashes cling to one another and glitter against wet skin of her cheek, 'We are free now, to go where we choose, to be who we choose,' his voice cracks a little, 'Free to love, little sister.'

            Amélie remembers how, when he had pinned her to the wooden floor, pressed this forearm against her collarbones and proceeded to tear away at her clothing that he had paused. His body was pressed against hers and she could feel every muscle, every dip and curve of him through her flimsy nightgown, the feral heat and power of him. His dark hair formed a tangled crown of thorns around them both.

            Tell me you love me.

            Frightened, she was so frightened; she thought it would make him stop. And so, gently, she told him that she did. But he did not stop. Instead, he smiled and bent his dark, feline head to hers, and pressed his mouth to hers, and she let him, because she was so afraid. In the end, the pleas, the bites and scratches, not even the acquiesce could stop him from hurting her so; she bled, staining the last rags of her fine cotton nightgown with her shame. A part of her could not believe what he was doing, and he did it slowly, savouringly, agonisingly, the hitch of his breath echoing in the hollows of her throat, not even when he bit her shoulder and snarled her name into the mess of her neck, matted with hair and sweat.  

            Amélie doesn't understand, her head aches, her body aches. With a voice barbed and thin she makes for the chink in his armour, the sentence that she knows will hurt him,

           'I hate you,' In that one word she pours her hurt, her anguish, her confusion.

           The effect is immediate; the water sloshes angrily as he thrusts her away, his face closing off like shutter-barred windows to keep out the winter storms. Inscrutable cerulean eyes – far too angelic for his nature – stare at her hard, 'What did you say?'

           Her voice is stronger now, she can be just as tenacious as François; 'I hate you.'

           He strikes her sharply with the back of his hand; the blow opens up a nick in the corner of her mouth, and she feels the heat rush to that side of her face with a sting. But what she is not prepared for is the look of pain scrawled across François' features; she cannot decide if it is because he struck her, or because her words have bitten him.  He grips her upper arms, fingers leaving purplish blooms flowering on her anaemic flesh; Amélie thinks bitterly of how, in this family, they cannot express affection through the giving of roses, instead they must paint their love on each other's bodies in blood.

          'Don't ever say that to me, Amélie. Do you understand?' he pulls her close, 'It's because of you that I was sent away, because of you that this happened.'
She is still frightened; she will always be frightened, and she nods, wide eyed. François strokes a curl that has fallen across her face, then with the pad of his thumb wipes the drop of blood from the corner of her mouth and puts it to his tongue. It is this defiant side of her that captivated him so; even after they were reunited, and he was amazed by the changes to her body, by her new, restrained and balletic movements that befitted a young woman, it was this quick temper that remained enchanting. He remembers feeling relieved at the realisation that her spirit remained unbroken; he saw her strike a foxhound when it leapt up to her, dirtying her dress, with her loose glove and a detachment that left him breathless.

           'Do you love me?'

            Tell me you love me.

            There is nothing for a heartbeat, the emptiness of the house is overwhelming, deafening, and not for the first time Amélie dimly wonders where her mother is.

            'Yes.' And the most crushing, soul-destroying realisation is that it is true. She has loved him so long as a brother, she cannot hate him now.

            He holds her face almost tenderly, and brushes the tears away from her cheeks softly, his own face lit with such adoration that Amélie shuts her eyes, 'Then say it, Chérie, say it aloud.'

            She drags stagnant air into her lungs, 'Je t'aime, François…'

            The breath of his sigh fans lightly across her face, but she doesn't open her eyes. So it comes as a surprise when the warmth of his mouth envelops hers; she does not fight it, she is already dead, not even when his tongue slowly sweeps her mouth in desolation, tasting her, savouring her. Amélie cannot quite repress a shudder.

            Her lips are the colour and shape of a small pink poppy; François notices; the strange lift in the centre which gives them such fullness, the coral shade which he now knows to be the same tint as the flush of her breasts. And her taste, her taste, is the same as all those years ago, something sweeter, smoother than crème fraiche.

           He pulls away with a gasp, 'Why is it you? Why are you the one?'

           There is loss in his voice and they are silent. The bathwater has cooled almost entirely; she shivers. At this François stands and scoops her out of the cold liquid; the sun has risen higher in the sky, yet does nothing to burn off the chill.  As he wraps her tightly in the pale cotton towels, Amélie again finds her mind shutting itself off from her body. She stares intently at the scar on François' cheek; a nick virtually unnoticeable, where as a child she had scratched him out of sheer curiosity, as he dries and dresses her. She doesn't move to cover herself, there is little point now.

           'Where is Mama?'

           'Where I left her, Chérie, you needn't worry about her,' he looks at her slyly as he slides the dress the colour of vivid sea foam over her shoulders; he always loved her in green. His fingers burn a trail over her breasts, 'She was coming to take you away, Amélie, I couldn't let her do that,' on catching her distraught expression in the dressing table mirror he smiles like the crescent moon, 'I haven't killed her, Chérie, if that's what you're wondering, just hit her over the head with my water jug.'

           'Why?' it's a whisper. Though she knows, just as she knows herself. They are of one soul and there can be no secrets.

            François is dismissive; 'She found my poetry, saw the way I watched you. It's her fault, she never could leave well enough alone,' he cups her chin, looks at her with such gentleness, 'Forget her, she should never have blamed you for this.'

            The memory has carved itself into the mind of both, creating a sickly, discoloured scar. Of the day when François had come home from the hunt to find his little sister in bed, the back of her dress open, and the flesh of the shoulders split and deformed.

            Because the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children; because their father believed his daughter to be the temptress of his son.

            She was sleeping. Tears had dried strange pale streaks onto her skin. François had put a hand to her cheek, still so youthful, so soft, like the down of a small bird. And then went to find his father. François split his father's lip, their father broke François' nose. They wear the scars of their family's twisted affection on their bodies.

            Amélie can see this memory reflected in François' eyes, in the dark pit of the pupil, where her features drown.

            He lets her go, stoops to retrieve his shirt and pulls it over his head; Amélie watches the muscles of his back compress in the mirror, the deep groove that runs along his spine, the shoulder blades like jags of slate; there is such power and beauty in him. Her eyes tack back to her own reflection and she sees there is a dark, blotched mark between her slanting collarbones where François had torn the silver engagement locket from her neck and replaced it with his bitter-tasting love bite. It lies across the room where he had flung it; dirtied and languishing in the cold ashes of the fireplace, the pale lock of hair dislodged from its fastening.

           'And Albrecht?'

           'Dead in a ditch for all I care,' François is packing a trunk with clothes from both his wardrobe and hers, 'With twenty trenched gashes in his German skull. He never deserved you.'

            She looks at him with such horror but he ignores her, 'Get ready, we leave soon.'

            Perhaps in days to come, on the ship from France to Italy or America or England, she will find the courage. After he has proved himself master over her again and then lies sleeping, perhaps she will retrieve the dagger from inside her bodice and balance it above the pale exposed expanse of his chest. She will look on that face, gentle in repose as dreamy moonlight gilds it like a marble bas-relief, perhaps she will find the strength to impale him. Perhaps.

             She will put the point to his chest, and she will look at his face, summoning her hurt, her anger. She will spite that sleeping form, kneeling by him, ready. That vulnerable, damnable form.

             She will silently resheath the knife. She will lie down and cling to him as a sailor to a spar in the storm. She will succumb.

             François slips a collar of lace and pearls around Amélie's neck to hide the purplish, blistering mark of his love and drops a kiss on the delicate flesh of below the ear. Wincing, as if he had hurt her again, she twists away as his hand skims the top of her thigh.

             'Too soon?' For a moment their faces hang in the mirror, the shape of the brow, the jaw, the colour of their eyes too similar, so different. As if they have been born again.

           Taking her hand François leads her from the room, dragging the trunk through the empty mausoleum of a mansion. She follows him like a child; she is bleeding again, as though she is twelve once more and only just beginning her monthly cycle.

           It's the marquis' ball and Amélie and François are fourteen and seventeen years old, it is a time before their parents fell apart, before they slept in separate rooms, before their father took a riding crop to his fourteen year old daughter, before he beat his son unconscious for what he could not understand. They know nothing of the world. The moon hangs like a rose pearl in the sky, inky swirls of cloud curl across its face as three prospective suitors try to capture Amélie's attention; she is drowning in the cloying scent of their civet and admiration.

           'Gentlemen, you will excuse a brother's right,' from nowhere he appears; the roundness of youth has melted from his features, his shining hair pulled loosely into a velvet ribbon at the base of his neck, the right corner of his mouth lifts into an teasing expression and the scar she gave him creating a dimple in his cheek.

           With feigned regret she takes his hand and follows him to the floor. His hand is on her waist, hers on his shoulder; his dark, beautiful hair brushes her wrist occasionally and again she envies the soft luxuriance that is wasted on a boy.
'I'm not tearing you away from your admirers, am I?' he grins at her impishly and Amélie discreetly steps on his foot.

           'Actually, I must thank you, I was fit to scream,' Amélie assures him, 'They are so incredibly dull.'

           François assumes a mockingly hurt expression, 'But one of them could be your future husband, Chérie, you should show some respect.'

           Smiling serenely, Amélie twirls effortlessly beneath his outstretched arm, 'My darling, you are the only man I could ever marry.'

          'And I you,' François replies simply, lifting her lightly off her feet as the music soars. This is happiness. This is love.

Time bears them ever upwards, into a future irrevocable, irreversible.
As it destroys all things.
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Comments: 98

shiro-sakura-kaze [2012-05-29 00:16:30 +0000 UTC]

Frighteningly brilliant. I feel like I saw everything...

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RinRabbit [2012-04-28 14:09:20 +0000 UTC]

i found the events horrible and once you gave away more information into the characters it made my heart ache for amelie and francois even though it was a horrifiying event i LOVED this story the writing style use of images was amazing i COULD NOT STOP READING it pulls you in and keeps you reading which is hard to find these days keep writing i would love to see much more from you

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PrettyThings9 In reply to RinRabbit [2012-04-28 20:13:34 +0000 UTC]

thank you! it was hard to write but ultimately rewarding. i'll definitely be writing more!

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RinRabbit In reply to PrettyThings9 [2012-04-29 22:14:10 +0000 UTC]

good i'm looking forward to more

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DancingDragon [2012-04-27 05:44:55 +0000 UTC]

The beautiful language with which you've sculpted this piece, serves well as a contrast to the unpalatable nature of the subject matter. It is a beautiful piece wrought in shades of gray, with no clear grounds of black-and-white, good-or-bad. It is delicate, fragile, precious, ruthless, savage, and ultimately transcendent. The situation is both pitiful, and pitiless, and I thank you for sharing.

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PrettyThings9 In reply to DancingDragon [2012-04-28 20:14:43 +0000 UTC]

i'm so glad the subtleties came out, i didn't want the reader to condemn one or the other completely. thank you for reading and commenting!

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vulcantanymore [2012-04-25 05:37:35 +0000 UTC]

You did an incredible job. I cannot begin to say how awesome this story is. You are an incredible author. I felt as if I were a fly on the wall during this whole incident. You painted the picture of the story perfectly. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that you most definitely deserved your spot in daily deviations!

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PrettyThings9 In reply to vulcantanymore [2012-04-25 18:57:50 +0000 UTC]

oh thank you! i'm so glad you found it captivating!

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vulcantanymore In reply to PrettyThings9 [2012-04-25 23:48:49 +0000 UTC]

Yah, I really enjoyed it! srry about my lame typing i just got my nails done with gel and im not used to them yet

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PrettyThings9 In reply to vulcantanymore [2012-04-28 20:12:35 +0000 UTC]

hahh no worries

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vulcantanymore In reply to PrettyThings9 [2012-04-29 19:21:01 +0000 UTC]

yay!

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lovethehearth [2012-04-25 02:13:05 +0000 UTC]

stunning. I can totally feel her confusion; the protection she should receive from her parents that she doesn't, and the safety that her brother's comfort provides, but then her pain from him. This is only one of many things I could say, but I felt the need to comment (not that you are not receiving your well-deserved attention!)
I think I'll be coming back to this one.

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PrettyThings9 In reply to lovethehearth [2012-04-25 19:02:00 +0000 UTC]

oh no worries, i am always so happy for feedback haha and thanks for taking the time i'm glad the emotions really came through, it definitely was tough to write!

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Mikhanator [2012-04-24 08:02:54 +0000 UTC]

A very interesting piece of art. The use of your words vividly describe the 'action' and its disgusting horror yet delicate wordings... Both taboo's are worse even though one seems worse than the other. Otherwise, keep up your very intricate pieces!

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Mikhanator [2012-04-28 20:34:28 +0000 UTC]

thank you! glad you found it thought provoking

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Akira-Miyashi [2012-04-24 04:57:36 +0000 UTC]

I actually read this twice. This was written in such a beautiful manner yet it conveys something so dark. Did it make me feel sick? Yes, it did. The descriptions & imagery you used were so vivid yet so delicate that it sort of entranced me. My favourite part was this:
"...how he had plucked it from the ground and handed it to her with such tenderness – and he was capable of such tenderness – that not a single blade bent, yet when she had held it, her breath had melted it away."

which taboo is worse? the socially acceptable one of familial abuse, and the suppression of desire? or the taboo of incest and rape?
I believe that both are on the same level. Both are equally disturbing and sick. It degrades a person, physically and psychologically.

do you hate him for his actions, do you hate her for her weakness, and do you think ultimately it was the parents that caused this inevitability
Yes, I do believe that the parents contributed major parts to this event but it would be unfair to not blame François and Amélie as well. I can't say I hate anyone in particular as past actions and memories from everyone built up and ultimately brought to this event. In other words, they themselves, might be the victims too. The parents, a victim of society - they fear on how the society would view them as parents, thus leading to the abuse of Amélie. François and Amélie, victims of their own parents - the abuse of Amélie led to François fighting his own father and being sent away. This ultimately created hatred towards his father, aggression and obsession over Amélie.

Also, I think that Amélie would be 19 years old while François would be 22 years old during this whole event. It just feels that way to me.

/apologizes for super long comment

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Akira-Miyashi [2012-04-29 17:18:30 +0000 UTC]

interesting....i guess one taboo is more pervasive and subtle, but equally damaging.

ooo the parents also as victims? that's a really interesting perspective, yes, a self-fulfilling prophecy almost.

don't apologise, i love comments! so thank you for it i'm very grateful and am so glad you found it engrossing

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Dasmau [2012-04-24 04:54:50 +0000 UTC]

TLDR

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Quill-of-Wonder [2012-04-24 04:51:01 +0000 UTC]

I think the taboo of incest and rape really is worse...there's a reason why incest is taboo across many cultures in time and across the world. It just causes problems.
Amelie and Francois...I think they're around fifteen and eighteen. The events I would think happened no more than a year after that ball, considering I would think that her saying that he would be the only one that she could marry would be the tipping point where Francois would start to figure out how to take advantage of her. I don't know if I could hate either of them. The bond between siblings is strong, and I doubt she would ever be able to kill him to be free, and I'm sure with her saying that she could only marry him, well, it opens this possibility up for them. I really doubt it was the parent's faults. It wouldn't make sense for them to be the cause of this...
And I love the ending. In my mind, it helps to explain alot of what Francois was thinking throughout the start of the story. It was very interesting. In no way does it cheapen the past events, though it does put them in a touch of a more sour tone. I still love it though.
I quite enjoy this story, despite the dark content. You have a very lovely style that was quite enjoyable to read. I barely even noticed the length of it as I was reading. Some parts might have needed a touch of polishing, yet that's probably only because I'm working off of about five hours of sleep about fifteen hours ago...At any rate, I enjoyed reading this. Congratulations on the well deserved DD.

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Quill-of-Wonder [2012-04-30 21:58:31 +0000 UTC]

ooo interesting chronology and i like the reasoning.

yes, i guess it's hard for her to both hate and love him at the same time...

thank you! i'm so glad you found it engrossing, if a little horrible

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Aniphine [2012-04-24 04:22:16 +0000 UTC]

There are no words I can form to describe the intensity of this piece. I can only say that I will forever strive to achieve your caliber of writing. Bravo.

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Aniphine [2012-05-01 20:19:59 +0000 UTC]

oh wow, thank you! such high praise! i am honoured

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chasingsunbeams77 [2012-04-24 03:54:34 +0000 UTC]

this is...whoa...um, yea...i had a bit of a difficult time reading it, yet your writing pushed me on...i think it gives a sort of justice to the victim and her brother, why they gave in, and their feelings about it all...but, overall, great writing...i couldn't stop reading

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PrettyThings9 In reply to chasingsunbeams77 [2012-05-01 20:20:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you! i like the idea of the writing itself as part of the story, yes. thanks again, i'm glad you found it compelling

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chasingsunbeams77 In reply to PrettyThings9 [2012-05-02 04:10:52 +0000 UTC]

no problem

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Hiland-Rose [2012-04-24 03:53:33 +0000 UTC]

I had to admit your style pulled me in, I started reading it and had to stop as I had other things I needed to get to, but I had to come back and finish.
Which is worse? Somehow the familial abuse fades in the face of the rape and incest of Amelie... but it is the physichal abuse that drives them both mad. Your description was modest enough but still left my stomach twisting... the psychological torture overtops any of the physical ones. Both characters had been destroyed psychologically and their view of the world was warped. They had to survive somehow.... I have to say that the events you described do in fact destroy the memories of a more pleasant time... I had a harder time reading those because of the context of the present. My guess on their ages would be early twenties I do not see Amelie as a weak character, only one that needs time to sort things out... I do see her finally destroying her oppressor, but it will be traumatic for her to do so. Sociopaths become psychopaths... and in this case I don't see it ending well for either.

Does it work? Yes, however, I am seriously needing to scrub my brain... unfortunately I have a very active imagination and your descriptive style is very provocative. This is an incredibly well written peice, terrifyingly well written... I still feel the hairs standing on the back of my neck and my skin crawling. Your ability to describe a scene, to shift from a narative, to memory to spoken word, and flow so smoothly... it is a very difficult thing to acheive and you do it well. We are looking through the eyes of Fracncois, we are privy to every detail, (unnervingly so) and yet conscious of Amelie too and where she is, all the while the juxtoposition is seamless. You have a gift.

I pity both characters. When you can't see your way out, when what you desire is wrong and you know it, but the only examples set forth are equally wrong... this is a tangled web...You present quite a quandry.

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Hiland-Rose [2012-05-01 23:02:48 +0000 UTC]

i'm so glad you came back! hahah

interesting...yes, if you beat an animal you drive it mad...

i'm glad the understatement worked...sometimes i find that's worse than graphic description.

so you think Amelie is strong? nice angle, yes

oh, it was definitely hard to write! hahaha

i'm so glad you found it so complex, it's exactly what i was going for

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Hiland-Rose In reply to PrettyThings9 [2012-05-02 22:07:21 +0000 UTC]

I had another thought later, one that perhaps will illuminate a comment I ran accross after I had posted.

Remarks were made about love being love regardless...

Lust is not love, Francois did not love Amelie, he lusted for her, he hungered for her but he did not love her...

The line between love and lust is hair fine in the case of physical intimacy. Love puts the other ahead of one's self. Lust seeks gratification of self, even at the expense of another. Love means respect, self depreciation, the desire to please the other person, to be committed for a life time. Francois displayed none of this when he raped his sister, took her against her will and dominated her.

Amilie, for her part did love her brother... there was no gratification for her. There was no reason to stay her hand, save one. Twisted though it was, she still loved him enough to let him live, to go with him. Fear and love are equally strong forces but Love abolishes fear while fear can not instill love. Francios knew fear, manipulation and lust, he did not know love. He relied on Amelie to teach him that, perhaps one day she will.

Sorry for the long winded reply but I have been mulling this over. As I said before you present a quandry. You are very talented. Best of luck with your endeavors.

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RaddRebel [2012-04-24 03:51:18 +0000 UTC]

holy...whoa...w-what did i just read? I-ts so amazing...its just...bravo!

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Melphaba [2012-04-24 03:48:51 +0000 UTC]

This is a beautifully written piece. It was fascinating and actually caused me physical pain to read.

That being said, I can't force myself read the whole thing in order in some sort of meaningful way, because too much of the situation mirrors ones I have been in and I am really trying very hard to move on from them.

I definitely can't help hating Francois for his actions, and I believe very strongly that there is a reason for the taboo on rape. I understand where the taboo on incest comes from, but as long as both partners are consenting, fuck if I care.

(No, but really, the writing here is super pretty.)

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RADification [2012-04-24 03:46:17 +0000 UTC]

I'm terribly glad I clicked on this piece. A literature artwork was not what I was expecting and you deserve the recognition you got for this. The reason I'm happy I found this may seem abnormal to some but I must admit this particular taboo (that of incest) has been something that's been roaming around my head for the past week. It isn't something I could stomach myself, nor something I'd be comfortable hearing of within the boundaries of my own family, but personal and religious views aside I can't condemn anyone in an incestuous relationship, so long as both parties are willing and truly in love. I don't know anything firsthand about the topic so I don't feel comfortable judging others about this. To be honest I really do think that encountering something like an incestuous relationship outside of a story would bother me greatly, but again I can't judge because I feel like I'd be the same as people who judge others based on their sexuality.

First off I'm delighted at the words you used in this piece. I hate reading stories that make me feel like I'm being talked down to. I like your prose and poetry because it feels like some of the less used words are getting some love...I hope that makes sense.

I don't hate either Amélie or François. For him I feel sorry. He reminds me of a character in the Silmarillion who bore a fondness for his cousin and she essentially condemned him for it. I'm sorry for characters like that because I feel like they possess an intrinsic quality that they can't control, one that they didn't ask for but it makes them suffer forever. Like a dark monster maybe ? Well with François I did get the impression that he wished he didn't love Amélie when he asks "why are you the one?". For Amélie I occasionally felt irritation that she didn't defend herself, that she didn't take a dagger to her brother even in fantasy. Thinking on it though I don't blame her at all, it's hard to "hate" a loved family member. I most definitely blame the parents for part of the way things turned out. Parents ought to be understanding and gentle with kids, especially in cases like these I think, where they think the child is "abnormal" or "deviant" in some way. It's like if a child is homosexual and gets denounced down for it by his/her parents, the kid feels perverse so they act perverse, or they give up on themselves.

I think the contrast you presented of past and present was really striking, not done in a cliché manner. I loved the bits of italicized and bolded phrases, they made me shivery and satisfied (and most times I'm unfortunately a hard-to-please-jerk when it comes to judging people's stories). I don't think the events of the present destroyed or cheapened the past. I think they made them more poignant and sad. The flashback to the ballroom scene was brilliantly done and the conclusion was seriously, seriously great. I really liked the imagery of the very 2nd paragraph. There's something interesting in the siblings' interactions and their back and forth between gentleness and violence.There are many phrases I like in this, but I think that if I start listing my favourite passages then my comment will become even more absurdly long.

To end off, I got the impression that Amélie is 23 and François is 25. Thanks for this beautiful work and I'm really freaking sorry for rambling!

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OokamiCasha [2012-04-24 03:06:47 +0000 UTC]

Twisted. Everything is twisted. I feel so confused. I feel like I'm stuck between hating it and loving it, their relationship, what hes done, what she hasn't done. And I can understand the past memories that were once so nice, pure, and full of love be totally eradicated by events of the present or future. This is definitely..worth some pondering. Be all around satisfied with this work of yours. It has definitely struck awe in many people including myself.

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SadisticIceCream [2012-04-24 01:49:24 +0000 UTC]

I'm so glad to see this get a DD. It's a beautiful piece of writing.

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InvaderViv [2012-04-24 01:31:00 +0000 UTC]

Wow...
Just. Just wow.

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Ivory-Ire [2012-04-24 01:06:33 +0000 UTC]

Can I just say this was a masterpiece? <3

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PrettyThings9 In reply to Ivory-Ire [2012-05-02 21:46:35 +0000 UTC]

well that is high praise indeed!

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TheSpyderQueen [2012-04-24 00:46:15 +0000 UTC]

Hello. I just wanted to say that usually I don't read the literary daily deviations, but I'm glad I did today. This was a very engrossing story, really twisted....you write very beautifully, you have tons of talent

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PrettyThings9 In reply to TheSpyderQueen [2012-05-02 21:46:20 +0000 UTC]

thank you! sorry it's taken me so long to reply :/ but i'm so happy you liked it, even if it is very dark!

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millenniumsmuggler [2012-04-23 23:59:09 +0000 UTC]

This was very nicely written. Well done.

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Alac-Liop [2012-04-23 23:49:55 +0000 UTC]

Actually I'm not a reader, so I'm sorry but I didn't read... But I often read the description, and so you like if we comment and as you're in the DailyDeviation i think you got a lot more comment than expected so well... Here's what I can say, I don't know... I love comment about something totally different, and apparently people don't hate my comments... So yeah, i'm a useless out of topic commenter, and I think this is awesome XD

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Mirrei [2012-04-23 23:17:56 +0000 UTC]

It was wonderful. I normally can't sit down and read something this long but the way this was written was magnificent. I love how you did it in a different time period as well. But this was beautiful and tragic and a great piece of writing. <3

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DriteAltia [2012-04-23 23:12:24 +0000 UTC]

Amazing!! Though provoking and suspenseful!! Once I started I couldn't stop. I wanted to find out why, why, why and who they were, and----I can't finish. I'm more than a little stunned right now. I haven't read anything this deep and profound and original in a while.
Beautiful job!! <333

Congrats on the DD, you definately deserve it.

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FearMyMustache [2012-04-23 22:51:27 +0000 UTC]

This is absolutely a beautiful piece, i really would like to read more. Its definitely thought provoking.

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Shade-Of-Wolf [2012-04-23 20:39:32 +0000 UTC]

I don't think either are acceptable.

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remarkablecows [2012-04-23 20:38:07 +0000 UTC]

The writing is really, really, good and emotion provoking. I was crying while reading this for the tragicness (is that a word?) of it all. Keep writing

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Perfling [2012-04-23 20:27:57 +0000 UTC]

This was amazing! There was no way you could stop once you started.

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The-Shipping-Killer [2012-04-23 20:12:09 +0000 UTC]

Very smooth.

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Clarkispotamia [2012-04-23 19:59:35 +0000 UTC]

I quite like this. I can't really tell you why, but I like this a lot.

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Troll1011 [2012-04-23 19:43:21 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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Perfling In reply to Troll1011 [2012-04-23 20:27:09 +0000 UTC]

Your profile pic and name make you an ineffective troll, fyi.

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