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PrincessJaden — Epiphany [NSFW]
Published: 2011-05-06 21:55:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 1279; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 5
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Epiphany - DRAGON AGE 2 - FemHawke/Fenris

A/N: The prompt for this was "AU: Hawke doesn't do 'Bait & Switch' and thus, never meets Fenris in Act 1. Instead, in Act 2, Guard-Captain Aveline sends her to deal with the elven squatter who is causing trouble in Hightown."

*

He hears the small group of intruders come; they have the subtlety of a herd of stampeding bronto. Listening to the sound of boot-shod feet, he counts three, and then a fourth set of footfalls. His sword was close at hand, and gripping the pommel, he walks slowly from his bedroom. His front door is kicked off its hinges, footsteps banging against the tiled flooring. Readying his weapon, Fenris bends his knees slightly, steadying himself on strong bare feet.

"Let them come," he breathes, over and over, like a mantra. He'd waited long enough.

The mansion is dilapidated, dried puddles of blood on the floor and splattering the walls, remnants of those who came before. Rusty old weapons, discarded armor, and what he could only assume to be the residual belongings of the previous owner strewn about.

This was only a place to wait. It wasn't a home, or a respite from worry. This place was his worry, his trap, one of his own choosing.

The woman who stepped through the entryway to face him now was not what he'd expected. Her visage looked soft and striking beneath her fierce expression, with unruly jet-black hair and soul sucking eyes. She gripped a bladed staff in one hand. So she was, indeed, a mage, but she wore armor, and Magisters did love their fancy frivolous robes. Those who stood beside her looked nothing like slave hunters, either, a rather manly ginger-headed woman in heavy plate, a buxom - and pantsless - raider-type, and a beardless dwarf. With earrings.

Mercenaries, then.

*

Hawke entered the derelict mansion expecting to see the elven squatter flanked by an entire company of men. The Dalish liked to run in packs, and from the reports that had been taken regarding the havoc he'd caused, she couldn't have imagined she'd find a single man alone.

She'd never seen anything like him. He was not cowed or stooped, as were so many of the city's unwanted. He stood tall and proud, his feet braced for battle. His armor was far from simple, and of fine make. Black brows cut like blades over clear green eyes. He had the most fascinating mouth she'd ever seen, soft lips curled into a contemptuous sneer, and a shock of striking white hair. And his tattoos... Hawke felt the pull of mana across the distance that separated them, and knew he was like nothing she'd ever even read about. The ancient dwarven golems, perhaps, but to see it on a flesh and blood being was beyond her knowledge and experience. He was different, but not necessarily in a bad way. He wasn't conventionally handsome by any means, yet Hawke found him attractive beyond belief.

"If you've come to loot the place, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. There's nothing here."

He had a deep, commanding voice. It rumbled its way over her, causing her muscles to tense and twitch. Drawing up short, Hawke turned to her companions and said with authority, "He's just one man. I've got this."

"Are you with the Red Iron, then?" He asked as, alone now, Hawke continued her approach.

Stepping onto the bottom of the stairwell that led up to where he stood, she hefted her weapon in front of her. "The Red Iron? No. I've come to clear you out, elf. Let's just make this easy, shall we?" She stopped, adding a hardness to her tone and features. "It's time for you to move along to the Alienage where you belong."

His eyebrows met over narrowed eyes. "No."

Gripping her staff until her knuckles turned white, she raised her voice, slightly. "Leave. Now. I warn you..."

He remained firm. "I will not."

He couldn't believe the audacity of the woman before him. She spoke to him with authority, yet her eyes held fascinated interest rather than the disdain he was accustomed to. Their awareness of each other was sharp and forceful, the underlying power struggle adding to the tension.

Shaking her head softly, Hawke grinned, shrugging the cloak off her shoulders as she stepped onto the landing. "Very well." She watched him brace himself as she paused, for just a moment. Then she rushed him, bringing her staff up to try to knock his sword aside with a vicious blow. He held fast, pushing her back without effort.

His brows lifted and he watched as she retreated, walking in a large circle around him and swinging her staff in a lazy arc.

Thrusting toward him with the bladed end, she leaned into her swing, trying to slice into his belly. Again, he deflected the blade, knocking her back with the force of his own blow.

He aimed for her staff with strong, hard strikes, causing her hands to go numb as she fought for purchase.

Gritting her teeth, she parried, moving quickly to evade his sword.

"You're a mage, are you not? Why not use your magic?" he grunted with exertion.

She wanted to. She wanted to freeze the smug look on his face with winter's grasp or use mind blast to send him reeling. But she was no fool. In the time it would take her to cast, he could run her through. Smiling at him, she swung again, feeling deep satisfaction as she felt the two-handed grip on his blade slacken. She moved in for the finish. All at once, her mind whirled as his entire form lit up in brilliant blue light. Moving faster than her dazed mind could track him, his blade came up between them, knocking her staff from her hands.

She watched it slide away, across the floor in incredulity. "Holy, blood of Andraste..."

His sword fell to the floor with a bang. She didn't have time to finish or move before he was upon her, spinning her around and pulling her back up against his chest, his arm going around her neck in a headlock. Turning them both to face her friends, he said something unintelligible under his breath, then, "Nobody move."

The trio of onlookers paid him no heed, readying their weapons as they made their way toward the stairs. She didn't doubt for a moment that any one of them would do whatever it took to see her freed.

Hawke felt the cold metal of his gauntlet on the back of her neck. He was taller than she, if slightly, and strong. He had her dead to rights, she knew it, but perversely, she didn't want to see him hurt. Leaning back into his hold, she met Aveline's eyes. "I'm fine. We're fine. I think that maybe we've been a bit hasty here. We should talk."

His hold relaxed, marginally, but that was all she needed. Grinding herself against him, Hawke turned within the circle of his arms until she faced him. They were nose to nose now, and she smiled at the look of bewildered anger he wore. "That's better." He seemed almost indignant as, nonplussed, she continued. "I'm Hawke. This is Guard Captain Aveline, Varric Tethras of the Merchant's Guild, and Isabela."

"That's Captain Isabela, if you please," the buxom raider amended.

His arms adjusted around her, found a more comfortable fit. His hold was strong, she wouldn't be able to flee unless he allowed it. He recognized this, and that knowledge fed the intimacy of their position, causing his blood to heat. Staring steadily into her eyes, he spoke, "I've heard of you. I was expecting... someone else."

This close, she could smell him, a wonderful, if undefinable scent like the smell of a forest after rain. His breaths pushed his chestplate against her, and she found herself matching her breathing to his. "We're here on behalf of the Viscount. Seems he's grown tired of complaining nobles. As a neighbor of yours, I can't say that I agree, but, well, I do what I must."

His eyes narrowed back at her again. "I cannot leave. Not yet." His answer was firm, immovable.

Hawke felt her own eyes narrow in turn. As thrilling a diversion as this was, she was beginning to get used to things going her way. Normally, people she reasoned with fell in line.

He must have been able to sense her intent, for as soon as she'd decided to struggle, his arms tightened around her.

She squirmed, wriggling against him, armor scraping armor with a grating noise. His expression was vicious, narrowed eyes and gritted teeth.

He could feel every curve of her body, the warm enticing shape of her causing him to lose his reason.

Hawke's nose bumped his, and she'd just decided to chance giving the man a savage headbutt when his mouth covered hers.

It wasn't something he'd planned, or could ever imagine himself doing with a mage, no matter how beautiful. But she'd provoked him, feeding his passion with anger and violence. She was too close, too warm, and sweet smelling. He wanted to crush her, and taste her, and feel her tremble against him.

She stiffened, briefly. Then she went wild in his arms, her hands coming up to clutch at his spikey-armored shoulders. His lips covered hers, catching the breathy little moan that escaped as one hand moved and fisted in her hair. Her belly pressed his through their armor, he ran his tongue over her lips, pressing beyond and sinking into the dark velvet of her mouth as she shuddered against him. Her gloved fingers bit into his shoulders, her tongue tangled timidly with his, drawing him deeper in the maelstrom of pleasure. His tongue drove deep and hard, the kiss so carnal it made her heart hammer. His hand tightened in her hair as his lips slanted over hers. Her body arched against him, her insides melting. He sucked at her, pulling at her tongue. His lips slid over hers, soft but firm and parted for the rush of his breath. She felt like the victim of a mesmerist, caught in the spell of his magnetic power. His body was so hard, so warm.

The sound of Aveline loudly clearing her throat finally reached Hawke's ears. Remembering herself, as well as their audience, she pushed away, and he let her. They stared at each other with wide eyes.

"Oh, you are such a wet blanket," Isabela griped to the source of their interruption.

Hawke felt her cheeks redden in mortification.

"I agree. Things were just starting to get interesting." This aside, from Varric this time, was cut short by Hawke.

"That's enough." She couldn't believe what had just happened, how she'd forgotten herself completely. The world had narrowed until it had been only the two of them, and it had been wonderful and violent and terrifying.

Fenris, more appalled than any of them by what had just occurred, looked angry, his arms and legs tense with agitation. He brought a hand up to his mouth, absently touching his lips. Forcing a cough, he composed himself, and said, with no small amount of irony, "You haven't asked, but my name is Fenris, should that interest you."

"Yes, well, maybe the business regarding this property can be sorted through on another occasion. We do have... other pressing matters we can attend to." Aveline spoke, suddenly in a very big hurry to leave.

"Fenris," she said, rolling the sound off her tongue. Back to the business at hand, Hawke strove to regain her composure. She spoke to Aveline, "I have no objections, if you don't. This whole thing was your idea, anyway." Turning to Fenris, she hesitated. "On another day, it seems." The corner of her swollen mouth kicked up in a smile. "You know, if you're willing to play nice, and keep your hands to yourself, I could use someone of your... unique talents, what with all the fighting we get up to. I can offer decent pay."

The stern line of his brow never softened as shrugging, he bent to retrieve his sword, securing it on his back. His answer was an uncommitted, "Perhaps."

Nodding her head, Hawke turned from him, bending to collect her staff before heading down the stairs. "Since you know who I am, I assume you'll know where to find me, should you decide to take me up on that offer." He tipped his head in agreement, tracking her steps as she readied to leave. "And we still need to talk about the trouble you've been causing. Don't think that I've forgotten."

It wasn't a victory; it was more of a stalemate, but he'd gotten his way for the time being, and picked up some new prospects along the line. The situation was confusing, but for the present, acceptable.

They filed out the door and into the night, Hawke glancing back over her shoulder at him. Varric was grinning, and rubbing his hands together, clearly plotting something Fenris was sure he wouldn't like. The other woman, Isabela, dragged her feet as she left, giving him a wink as she noticed his regard.

He'd think about it. The woman could very well mean more trouble for him. But he supposed he could always use the help if Denerius ever did show his face here.

Related content
Comments: 26

marikena [2013-02-04 04:07:31 +0000 UTC]

If there would be an option to give more than 1 Favourite stars, You would got them from me.
I believed each word in your story, I love it! Don`t know why, but I also see disposition to sexual violence in that man. I wouldn`t mind to read more, don`t know, what kind of boundaries You imagined. Just give them good reason and take away Aveline and Varric. Isabela can stay.

I had an idea for story with even more violent Fenris, but was afraid that fangirls would kill me. It seems I was wrong- this looks good indeed from outside.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Admire-er [2011-06-24 14:56:39 +0000 UTC]

Yowza! I didn't even notice a switch in tense I was so absorbed in your characters I hope you stay in the mood for this and it keeps going!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to Admire-er [2011-06-28 05:08:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.♥

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Shaleene1 [2011-05-22 05:27:34 +0000 UTC]

I like it. Very nice, and well written. and OOCness is acceptable, its why fan fiction is so... fan fiction

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to Shaleene1 [2011-05-23 00:28:00 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.♥

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

katiebour [2011-05-22 05:25:17 +0000 UTC]

This made me giggle. Hawke kissing Fenny before she even knows his name

Hard to live that down in front of all of your friends, no less.

I really like this <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to katiebour [2011-05-23 00:27:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ariat [2011-05-08 04:28:59 +0000 UTC]

This edit reads much smoother and it all seems more natural overall. Great work! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to ariat [2011-05-08 05:45:19 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, love!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ariat In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-08 05:55:40 +0000 UTC]

Anytime!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

IxHavexAxFork [2011-05-08 00:34:27 +0000 UTC]

wow I loved that was so hot and perfect for them fighting then ending up kissing! wooohoo

more plz

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to IxHavexAxFork [2011-05-08 05:44:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! "Moar!" is seriously like the best comment, ever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ariat [2011-05-07 06:22:10 +0000 UTC]

I loved it! You never fail to deliver, J!

I do agree with GrecianUrn, though, in that perhaps Fenris would put on a big show of wanting personal space, or of Hawke instigating the kiss.

I do, however, like the way you go from describing everything, to changing pace while describing the kiss and nothing else, and then snapping back to describe everything again. And I think the changing of perspective/tense works, too, so gorgeous work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to ariat [2011-05-07 07:56:28 +0000 UTC]

You know what my problem is? I've seriously just figured it out. I don't have ~NnylFets any more, and thus, I have absolutely nobody to bounce my fic ideas off of. The DA fandom itself seems to be slowing down, but I haven't really made any new friends from it (as I usually do when I get really into a new fandom). So without feedback, I get to just whip fic out and show it to people like it's public nudity or something.
/bitchrant

Anyway, I might end up poking at this later. I have other things that are calling to me, and as far as this fic goes: sometimes, I hate it, sometimes, I'm totally fine with it. I just wish I'd had you or ~GrecianUrn look at it before I posted it.

I'm really glad you liked it, despite its flaws. As far as Hawke instigating things... eh, I'm not sure. I kinda loved the fact that she was going to get out of it by headbutting him, I liked that she used closeness to distract him, but I'd have to basically rethink that whole thing if I went the other way. As I said to ~GrecianUrn , I may or may not go in and have Fenris freak out a bit after the fact. You're a mage, what did you do to me, ARG!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ariat In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-07 11:25:33 +0000 UTC]

I feel ya. I would like to get into the fandom, but for some reason I feel like it's something I can't break into. I dunno.

Fenris freaking out and vulnerable is all kinds of delicious. Anything you come up with will be amazing. <3

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GrecianUrn [2011-05-07 02:08:37 +0000 UTC]

Yay! I thought you did a great job describing Fenris and developing his attitude towards Hawke and the rest of the party. Reading this, I had a strong sense of what the mansion looked like, how Fenris was moving and reacting, etc.

The sexy stuff was very well-written. I must confess that I was a bit confused whether or not it was actually happening or if it was simply in Hawke's mind. IMO, at this point in things it might make more sense for it to be Hawke's fantasy because otherwise I imagine even random fighting and kissing would really, really freak Fenris out at this point in their acquaintance (especially since you've written a mage Hawke).

If you choose to make the kissing real, it might be a cool IC response/source of conflict for Fenris to give her a big "Damn it, woman, who are you?" type reaction. While he's probably secretly attracted to Hawke, I suspect he'd put on a big show of wanting his personal space and asserting his independence from romantic interest.

Anyway, I really, really enjoyed your take on Fenris/Hawke and I hope you do write that smutty one you've been wanting to do (and send me a link *blush* rivalmance Fen-Hawke is a pretty foxy pairing)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to GrecianUrn [2011-05-07 03:33:58 +0000 UTC]

Would it help if I had her instigate it? I knew as I wrote this that a kiss would be OOC but I totally did it anyway. I suppose that I went with "It's AU, so I can do what I want!!!" In all seriousness, though, I did want this to be good (as it's my very first go at Fenfic), so I might play with it a bit, as per your advice, and see if I can't get a more "WTF" reaction from him beyond staring at her with wide eyes (and the adorable blush cough we get if you use his very first flirt line right outside the mansion).

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GrecianUrn In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-07 14:59:08 +0000 UTC]

It's already good, my dear. I think it's up to you what you do with it, if anything. What I'm going to write next is my honest feedback, but if you spoke to some other reader, you might get something totally different. My perspective on IC/OOC for any of the characters is subjective and AU does provide a degree of extra freedom.

Personally, though, my theory on AU stories is that one has to be even more focussed on character development in this kind of story. If the plot has deviated from the original premise and the characters start behaving too OOC without justification or adequate time to show why/how they've changed from their original incarnations, an AU fic can turn into something completely outside of the fandom (which can be cool, but sort of defeats the purpose of a fan fic, IMO). Anyway, I'm not saying that this is happening here - aside from the kissing, everyone seems reasonably IC in most moments - just that I think AU is challenging because it asks fic writers to figure out what parts of characters must change, what ones stay the same and how much behind-the-scenes reasoning the audience is going to need to understand the differences.

If you choose to keep the kissing sequence as something that's actually happening rather than just a fantasy, I might suggest building in some psychological stuff into the writing to support why the characters might do this. Maybe Hawke has really poor impulse control and is kind of an exhibitionist (she'd probably have to be to be this okay with making-out with a guy she doesn't know while all her friends watched). Maybe Fenris is really, really lonely for female companionship and his adrenalin is going to the point where he's not thinking straight. If there's some motivation/reasoning established early on in the story, then the random make-out might be more credible. I tend to think it would probably make most sense to have Hawke initiate it and Fen just get really overwhelmed/turned on and run with it, until he realizes "holy shit, I'm kissing a mage! *scrubs mouth out with soap*" At that point, it'd make sense for him get a wee bit irritated at her (and himself) for the loss of self-control and potentially endangering himself by yielding to an enemy.

Having Varric, Aveline and Isabella have stronger reactions to the fact their fearless leader is making out with a random elven squatter would probably make sense too - none of them are exactly shy about their opinions. Aveline would likely be appalled, Varric would be curious and bemused and Isabella would probably want to jump into the mix or at least give Hawke a bro-fist for the sexy-times. One of the reasons I wondered if the kissing sequence was real was that nobody piped up and said "Whoa, you two! What the hell?", which seems like a pretty sensible response.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this and I think that your writing of descriptive passages is very well-done. It's really good work and I'm very glad to see you writing in this fandom.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to GrecianUrn [2011-05-07 16:02:36 +0000 UTC]

Heh, I do appreciate the advice, but now I just kind of want to delete this.


I'll mess with it later. I was up too late last night.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GrecianUrn In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-08 06:23:23 +0000 UTC]

To be honest, I don't know what to say. It was my intention to be helpful and to share my honest opinion, but if I failed in those goals, then I'm truly sorry. Sometimes I get the sense that when I write reviews on your work I may be coming off as threatening and/or discouraging to you. If you'd prefer me not to offer reviews or feedback on your stories or to confine my responses to praise rather than including con-crit, I can do that instead. It's entirely your choice and dictated by whatever you think will be most useful to you as a writer.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to GrecianUrn [2011-05-08 15:12:12 +0000 UTC]

Oh, God, no, no! Of course I find your concrit incredibly helpful! And I need it!
I've never claimed to be anything but a lackluster writer. I haven't had a day of college, and I graduated highschool just about 14 years ago - so I know, as a housewife, that I get dumber by the day. To top it off, I stopped writing 2 years ago, when I'd only been at the endeavor for a year (and, when, I honestly think, I was just starting to get good). I really don't know a thing about writing. I write what I feel and then await feedback. I really should have just had you look at this before it was posted here and on LJ and on ff.net. I think, had I done that, my response would have been entirely different.
I'm sorry about how I responded. I'll admit that when I read it, the advice you gave me made it feel a bit like I needed to go back to the drawing board, but that doesn't mean that I didn't appreciate it. I was tickled when you faved this (I notice these things), but I felt like you did so merely because I dedicated it to you. But as the original idea behind this was yours, I do admit to feeling a bit like I've failed.
I don't find you threatening, my friend, beyond the fact that I know you're a better writer, which is precisely why it means so much when I hear from you about what I've written.
I want your concrit, I do. I'm very sorry if I've made you feel otherwise. <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GrecianUrn In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-08 16:10:33 +0000 UTC]

Okay, thanks for explaining that to me.

You're -not- a lackluster writer. In fact, it's exactly the opposite - you're very good and getting better with each piece you write. I wouldn't bother to read and/or fave the work of someone whose material I didn't like and I certainly wouldn't bother writing reviews for a writer whom I didn't respect and appreciate.

And you didn't fail at all. The original idea was just some random plot bunny that I threw out there because I figured you or ariat might have fun doing something with it. You did do something with it and it was really enjoyable (and sexy) and I was incredibly happy to read it. Everything else is just pedantry.

Do you still have my e-mail? If you want a beta for something, I'm always here. Otherwise, I think I will keep my future reviews more simple and just discuss general reactions/feelings rather than going into massive detail. I value you as an online friend and I really, really don't want to inadvertently come off as a jerk or a naysayer.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to GrecianUrn [2011-05-08 23:16:48 +0000 UTC]

Fact: I had to look the word "pedantry" up in the dictionary. No lie.

I... may be able to find your e-mail, but in truth I may be too impatient to wait for betas. If I ever do need help again, I hope you don't mind me looking your way, though! <3 Sorry this ended up so out of hand. This isn't serious beans, damnit! It's fandom and fanfic and me for crying out loud!

And please don't limit yourself. Seriously. I heart your massive detail and apologize profusely: I know I'm touchy, I have my feelings hurt way too easy at times and it's so hard to tell tone over the internet. You're not a jerk, and believe me when I say that if I love you too much not to tell you if I think you're being mean!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GrecianUrn In reply to PrincessJaden [2011-05-09 04:25:00 +0000 UTC]

Okay. I can do that.

And with no further ado, Ijust have to say: the new edit looks great.

As ariat mentioned, the story transitions more smoothly now and it's much easier to understand why Fenris and Hawke end up getting all kissy-kissy.

I like the added tension and conflict in the scene that comes as a result of getting party reactions, as well as a sense of Fenris' embarrassment. Little touches like these do a lot to allow us as readers to suspend our disbelief (which, like Aveline, is always threatening to get in the way of fun) and throw ourselves into the yummy, sexy, well-written fight scene with Hawke and Fen!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DarthJazz [2011-05-06 23:16:41 +0000 UTC]

Yowza,this is hot! Like,really hot.Like,awesome hot.

And yes,I think the present/past tense switching works wonderfully!
But god,I do love a well written Fenfic.Very well done once again,dear.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessJaden In reply to DarthJazz [2011-05-07 00:18:40 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much, love! So happy you liked it.

And I will be writing more of him, methinks. Probably a series of shorts (like I've done with Sebastian, only darker, and naughtier ).

👍: 0 ⏩: 0